


Your Eyes Are Cooler Than My Beating Heart

by CliffordAffliction



Category: 5 Seconds of Summer (Band)
Genre: AU, Blasphemy, Could be triggering, Heaven and Hell, Horror, Luke is suicidal, M/M, Mental Institutions, Possessive Behavior, Possessiveness, Scary situations, Self Harm, Smut, Suicidal Thoughts, alternative universe, angel!ashton, but he is a demon after all, demon!michael, handjobs, human!luke, possessive!michael, roommate!calum, shower smut, you may not like michael at first
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-11-23
Updated: 2017-03-06
Packaged: 2018-09-01 18:33:53
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 12
Words: 64,591
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8633686
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/CliffordAffliction/pseuds/CliffordAffliction
Summary: Michael is a demon who somehow makes Luke want to die and live all at the same time





	1. Chapter 1

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ah shit...so I know I shouldn't be starting another fic when I have like four others still in progress but this idea came to me after I watched last weeks episode of Supernatural and I just couldn't help myself so here we are. 
> 
> I've been wanting to do a horror based fic for quite some time now so just a warning that this could have scary situations in it (it depends on what scares you). Also self harm and suicidal thoughts throughout. Title from Melbourne by The New Coast

They sky was such a dark color that it almost looked black as the rain was beating hard down on the roof and Luke's eyes were beat red from lack of sleep as he kept looking at the same spot on his white wall as he was rolling the pill bottle around in his hand.

He was shaking so bad that he was barely able to hang on to it but something inside of him was telling him that he shouldn't let it drop to the floor and be forgotten. These pills were his way out and Luke held onto them like they were his lifeline when in reality they were just the opposite. In Luke's fuzzy thoughts he was thinking of all of the wrong things just like he usually did when he had been awake for as long as he has.

He had barely slept two hours last night and the night before he had only gotten an hour of sleep. He honestly wasn't sure how he was still awake but it probably had to do with all of energy drinks that he's had. The taste of them made him vomit and if he could get his hands on any other thing he would but unfortunately he couldn't so he took what he could get.

His mother had left to go to a bar last night and had been gone since but Luke was glad for it; it meant that he had full access to her medicine cabinet that was next to her bed and that was how he got his hands on her pills that were still rotating in his hand.

Luke has been wanting to do this for months, just end it all and not look back, but some angelic and good voice in the back of his head was telling him that it wasn't worth it but he didn't believe that at all. Luke didn't feel like he would be leaving anything behind if he were to die. It wasn't like his parents would miss him. His father had left before Luke even took his first step and his mother had been a raging alcoholic for years.

Luke didn't have any friends so he couldn't use that as an excuse to stay either. Before his life started going to shit his freshmen year Luke had one best friend named Jonah but he of course disappeared like everything else that was good did.

With his other hand that wasn't holding the pill bottle Luke began to race over the cuts on his wrist that he made himself then he moved down onto the bruises that were thrust upon him by the kids at his school who just loved seeing him suffer. Luke never understood why he got bullied, he never did anything bad to anyone and he barely even talked; but yet he became the football teams punching bag in the recent years.

The more Luke thought about his life the more he realized that it wasn't worth living anymore. He was nothing and he had nothing and he honestly didn't know how much longer he could take the agony of living in this world.

Most people were scared to die or at least nervous as to what the afterlife would bring but Luke knew that even if the afterlife was horrible there was no way it was as bad as what he was going through in this life.

From downstairs he heard a loud bang, followed by a stream of curse words and as he looked to his shut door he knew that his mother had come home. This just made taking the pills so much easier.

"Luke!" she screamed loudly. She would come home yelling at her son for no particular reason and Luke didn't know if he could handle it even one more time.

Luke bit his lip and wiped his teary eyes before wiping his hands dry on the torn up blanket on his bed and sitting up quickly to open the pill bottle.

Without even thinking about it even more he put two pills in his mouth and dry swallowed them but it made him cringe. He grabbed his water bottle on his nightstand before putting three more pills into his hand. He knew taking just two pills wouldn't finish the job so he tossed the other pills back and this time he washed it down with water and he felt better.

Overdosing should have felt awful and wrong but Luke felt more alive than he has in years and he knew he wouldn't stop popping the pills until all he could see was darkness.

*

Luke could still see only darkness but he could register noises.

What he was hearing kept switching to silence and back to muffled and worried voices.

He could make out someone saying "I need that pulse back!" but then the voice was quickly cut off and all Luke was left with was his own thoughts.

Under him he could feel a warm and soft bed but he knew it wasn't his own. No matter how hard he tried he couldn't see anything but darkness and it was driving him insane.

If this is what death was then he wanted to be alive again.

The thought of just seeing darkness for eternity was enough to make him sick to his stomach with how horrible that would be. Luke would even take being throw into a pit of snakes over just seeing darkness for the rest of his life...or death; Luke was pretty confused and he just wanted to be able to see again.

It then occurred to him that maybe he was blind now...but why did his hearing keep going out? or maybe the voices were just stopping.

"We got him! Keep that pulse going, Reed" was said by that same voice as before and Luke felt a bit of hope whenever he heard it. He was just waiting until he could hear it again because it was his only hope that he was still alive.

"We're losing him-"

Suddenly the darkness that Luke could see began to turn more hazy, almost as if fog was starting to develop right in front of him.

Luke slowly was able to see more than just darkness as he could actually feel his eyes blinking so he knew he was able to open them.

There was a flicking and dim florescent light above him and it began to hurt his eyes.

He could then feel something hot and somehow comforting all at the same time and he looked down to see that he was laying in a hospital bed but instead of being in a hospital room it felt like he was in an empty room with black walls and black flooring that all meshed together.

Even his hospital bed was black and Luke almost screamed out in pain at how it felt like someone was burning him right in the chest where he knew his heart was. It felt as if someone was putting a thousand hot knives right to his heart and Luke 's mouth formed an "O" as his body tensed up with how much pain he was in.

When the pain stopped within a few seconds Luke was sucking in a breath like he had just been saved from drowning then he was leaning forward in his bed and breathing heavily.

He wasn't sure where he was or what was happening but it was terrifying him.

"Well hi"

Luke jumped sky high at how close the voice was and he knew it wasn't even close to the voice he had heard before.

When Luke picked his head up he widened his eyes at the sight of a pair of green eyes looking straight back at him. They seemed friendly but if Luke looked really closely he could see a sort of evil in them that he had never seen before.

The person was sitting right next to him on the bed with his hands resting on his lap as he had one ankle resting on his knee and Luke really had no clue who this boy was but he was breathtaking.

"So, hows life going...I mean death"

The boy didn't look much older than Luke but then Luke was looking down to see the pure black suit that he was wearing and suddenly the boy seemed much more mature.

His jet black hair was pushed back like he had gel in it but there was a few lose strands like he did a quick job of it.

"Not the talkative type?" the boy cocked a quick grin "I understand"

Luke jumped again when the boy suddenly stood up and with his back to him he put hand through his hair before putting them in his pants pockets.

"So pills huh?" after the boy spoke he was spinning around so fast that Luke swore he saw a ring spin around him like he would see in old cartoons "The easy way out; minimal pain, decently quick.Good choice, kid”

Luke felt like he wasn't even breathing as the boy continued to smirk down at him and he was convinced that this boy always had that sinister grin on his face.

He also began to wonder how this person knew that he took pills. Nothing was making sense at all and Luke wanted to ask so many questions but this boy in front of him seemed unpredictable and he didn't want to chance anything.

"I went with the rope" the black haired boy said as he shrugged and Luke had no idea what he was talking about.

The boy, as if sensing Luke 's confusion, was then moving his collar down off of his pale neck and revealing a thick red line that seemed to go entirely around his neck.

"I'm not sure why" black haired boy chuckled as he looked away from Luke "It. Just. Felt. Right...you know?" he looked back at Luke like he expected him to agree but Luke could just feel himself starting to shake as the boy started walking towards him again "Believe it or not choking to death isn't as fun as you'd think"

He was laughing again and Luke was more scared by the second.

Black haired boy was then standing right above Luke, with his legs touching the bed and Luke watched as the boy slowly started to drag his fingers on the bed as he watched himself do so.

Luke sucked in a breath as large sparks were trailing behind the black haired boys hand as he moved it closer to closer to him.

Luke quickly jerked his hand away once the boy almost touched him.

"Don't worry" he said softly "I'm not going to hurt you"

The boy was then looking over to Luke 's arm and he was smirking.

"I can see you've already done that yourself" Luke flinched and looked down to his arm to still see his visible white scars on his tan skin "Didn't quite cut deep enough though, did you?"

Luke was so close to finally talking, to screaming for help, but he was blinded by white light that came somewhere from his other side.

The hazy and dim lighting from before was gone as soon as he blinked his eyes and he could no longer see the green eyed boy but he swears he could still feel the heat of him sitting next to him.

Now all he could see was darkness again and no matter how much he moved his eyes that was all he could see.

"We've got him back!" that same booming voice as before said and Luke was so happy to hear it again "They're dropping again!"

Luke was just starting to wonder what was dropping again and what they were talking about but then he felt a heat rush through him again and he really hoped he didn't feel that unbearable pain in his chest again.

He held his breath waiting for it but it never came.

He was blinking again and that same flickering light was above him.

"Damn it! Why do you always have to fuck everything up for me?" came the green eyed boys voice again and Luke looked to his right to see the boy literally appearing out of thin air with anger in his eyess he clenched his jaw.

Thankfully the boy wasn't looking at Luke like that but instead was looking past him.

Luke looked to his left and that flash of whiteness was back again but this time it stayed and didn't blind him like last time. It was comforting and lighted up the whole left side of the room.

It was strange to see half of the room pitch black and the other warm in light but Luke didn't question it; everything was weird right now anyways.

"Don't speak to me in that language, Michael. You know better" came a much more softer and calming voice and Luke looked to the light side of the room to see a figure walking out of it.

Luke felt himself relaxing completely as a boy with golden curls and shining brown eyes emerged completely as he was smiling right at Luke and dressed in all white.

The boy walked slowly closer until he was right next to Luke's bed then he was reaching out to move a strand of hair off of Luke's forehead. The boys touch felt like sunshine and Luke couldn't get enough of it.

"How are you feeling, Luke?" the boy spoke and Luke couldn't believe it but he felt himself smiling and opening his mouth to respond.

"He's dead. How do you think he's feeling?" The boy that Luke now knew as Michael said sarcastically and Luke looked over to see Michael practically burning a hole through the other boys head and with what he's done so far Luke figured that he could burn holes through anything he wanted.

It then occurred to Luke what Michael had said though; He was dead. The pills did the job. He wasn't feeling happiness but he wasn't sad either. He didn't know what he was feeling but it was nice to not feel for once.

"Don't tell him lies" the golden boy said as he looked Michael up and down with a frown "He's in between right now. You know that"

"Yeah for now" Michael said harshly and Luke looked over to see Michael snapping his fingers.

Luke looked over to see a large floating screen behind him and on it was himself laying in a hospital bed as people in white coats rushed all around him.

"He's died twice now" Michael said looking past Luke at the other boy as if Luke wasn't even there "He's a fucking goner"

"Don't" the other boy raised his hand up and closed his eyes before speaking again "Don't say that. He still has a chance"

"Okay" Michael did a loud laugh as he threw his head back "When he dies for good though he's mine anyways so I don't know why you're even here, Ashton"

Ashton. Luke let the name repeat in his head.

"Why do you assume that he is yours?" Ashton said cocking his head to the side like a confused puppy.

"He fucking killed himself" Michael practically yelled and it had Luke tensing up again "I'm pretty sure that's something that the man upstairs would clearly disapprove of"

"He's a good person" Ashton said calmly and it soothed Luke "He has a good heart. He's just having a rough time"

"He belongs to me and you fucking know it" Michael hissed out and then Michael was stepping closer as if he was physically trying to claim Luke. Something in Luke's chest heated up in a good way and he didn't know what was going on.

"I know nothing of what you speak. I do know why you want him though"

"Do you now? Please, enlighten me. Grace me with your knowledge oh holy one" Michael crossed his arms over his chest and stared Ashton down.

Luke held his breath, waiting for an answer but it never came.

Instead both of the figures in front of him disappeared in an instant and all of a sudden he felt a sharp pain in his stomach and he could still see darkness as he felt his body moving to the side and he was throwing up as his body shook and hurt all over.

Luke coughed and coughed until he seen silver spots behind his eyes.

There were several voices around him but he couldn't understand any of them and he didn't care.

He briefly opened his eyes to see bright lights but he was closing his eyes again as someone was leading him back into the soft bed.

The last thing that entered Luke's brain before he saw darkness again was a pair of green eyes and a mop of golden curly hair.

*

Pain was the first thing that Luke registered when he woke up. It was pain all over his body but especially his stomach and he felt like throwing up if he wasn't so physically exhausted.

It had felt like he had just run across the country with no food or water and all he wanted to do was sleep...but his curiosity got the best of him.

He slowly began to open his eyes and instead of the lights being blinding like he expected them to be they were dimmed to a comforting setting and he began to looking around.

He was in a hospital bed and next to him was a big window where he could see the distant lights from the big city. He could briefly hear a PA system from somewhere outside his door and some horns honking from outside.

Next to the window was a slippery tan couch that was clear of any blankets or pillows and Luke looked to the table that was next to it to see a few coffee cups.

He knew he was in the hospital but he began to wonder where everyone was at. He figured that his mother wasn't here but someone must have brought him here or called the ambulance.

Luke couldn't remember how he got here but he could remember the green eyed boy and the curly haired boy; Ashton and Michael. As of now he was sure it was some sort of dream that just felt very real and he just wished he could forget it. Being in that room that was half blackness and half light was giving him the creeps and he was actually scared to close his eyes because he didn't want to see it again.

Both of those boys gave him a weird but comforting feeling but Luke wasn't sure if he wanted to feel it again.

Suddenly there was a knock at the door and Luke looked to it as he waited for the person to come in, just hoping it wasn't his mother.

A younger looking man with black hair was walking in and Luke watched the way his long white coat flew behind him as he walked.

Luke felt a warmth run through him when the man smiled at him.

"Hi, Luke. I'm Dr. Reed" he spoke and Luke just nodded as he stayed still in his bed that was propped up a bit "I turned down the lights for you because I knew they'd be bright when you woke up"

It was such a simple act but Luke was so thankful for it.

"Thank you" he spoke and he cringed at how rough his voice sounded. Luke was then feeling like someone was roughly scratching at the inside of his throat and he erupted into a coughing fit as he bent over in his bed.

He felt a comforting hand on his back and once the coughing stopped he was looking over to see the doctor right next to him.

"Just rest Luke. You need lots of rest"

"Why does my stomach hurt so bad?" Luke practically whimpered.

"We had to pump your stomach. I can give you some pain medicine" Luke was nodding before the doctor was even finished and then he was walking over to a small table in the corner and coming back with a small dark brown bottle.

Luke watched him unscrew the lid then he was surprised, but thankful, when the doctor was bringing it to his lips.

"Take a few sips" Luke did so without asking and he clenched his eyes shut at the awful taste.

Luke couldn't even remember when he took a liquid form of medicine instead of pills but he knew why they weren't giving him pills and he was glad for it; it would just bring back bad thoughts.

"The pain should cease in a little while"

"Is my mom here?" Luke asked before he even thought about it but he was scared of the answer when he saw the sadness on the doctor's face.

"She was the one who brought you to the hospital but she left soon after. Your aunt have been here the whole time though. She’s in the waiting room"

Luke scrunched his face up at that because he wasn't even aware that he had any aunts; especially ones who cared about him that much.

"I'll send her in soon and have a therapist come in also"

"A therapist?" Luke felt himself becoming nervous.

"You overdosed, Luke .You need to talk to someone about it and he will talk to you about further treatment; getting the drugs out of your system was just the first step"

"But I'm not addicted to pills" Luke was quick to defend himself because it was true; the only other pill he had even taken were minor pills for headaches.

"But you tried to end your life. You need to talk to someone" The doctor said, remaining calm and Luke sunk down in his bed "Just get some rest for now, Luke "

Luke nodded and already felt the medicine soothing his pain in his stomach as he watched the doctor leave the room.

He was so tired that he felt like taking a 10 year nap but he knew he was getting a visit from his aunt that he knew nothing about. Luke just hoped that she wasn’t anything like his mother.

*

  
When Luke woke up again this time he noticed a woman sitting on the couch next to the window. She had silver hair and glasses that were perched down on her nose as she read the magazine on her lap.

Luckily Luke's room was still dimmed and he was so glad that his doctor was nice enough to kill the bright lighting; especially when Luke had been through so much.

Luke cleared his throat, wanting the woman to introduce herself so Luke didn't feel like some stranger was sitting in his room and he watched her look up fast then her eyes were widening and she was coming to his bedside.

"Oh Luke! How are you feeling, honey? Are you in pain?"

"No" Luke answered the last question and honestly he was hurting a bit but it was nothing compared to how he was feeling the last time he had woken up.

He had no sense of time so he had no idea if he had slept a whole day or if this was still the same day.

"That's good; very good. Are you comfortable?" the lady had very kind eyes but honestly Luke wasn't used to people comforting him and caring about his feelings like this; it seemed so foreign to him.

"Who are you?" Luke asked and he watched the older woman smile softly.

"I'm so sorry. I should have introduced myself before. I am your mother's eldest sister" she smiled again "I'm Tabitha but you can call me Tabby"

"Where is my mom?" Luke didn't even know why he was asking that because really he didn't even care where she was. She had ignored him all of his life and earned the title of "Worst Mom Ever" so he wasn't sure why he was asking about her whereabouts; not to mention she had abandoned him in a hospital after he overdosed.

"We actually...do not know where she is, dear" she looked more upset than mad and Luke was glad that he wasn't the only person who despised his mother "But before she left she signed you over to me so I'm going to make sure that you're taken care of and that you get help"

"Wait" Luke put his hand up "She just gave me away to you? That quickly?"

Luke was happy that he was not in his mother's care anymore and he couldn't even find it in himself to be offended that she would give him away like that. He had known for years that his mother didn't want him so this was no surprise.

"Well you've been in and out of consciousness for several days now, Luke and she just wanted what was best for you and she knew she could not provide you with that"

Luke just nodded at that because it was true; his mother never gave him a good life or even an average one and maybe starting over with someone new was just what he needed.

"Now I've spoken to a therapist and we've figured out how to make sure this doesn't happen to you again okay?" she said softly but Luke became a bit scared.

"What...what do you mean?"

"Well I have payed for you to go into a special home so that you can be cured and-"

As soon as the words "special home" left her lips Luke started to panic and he could feel his chest tightening. He had seen plenty of movies that involved mental institutions and he did not want to go to one. People in those places were crazy and Luke knew he was NOT crazy. He was just sad and needed someone to love him; he needed someone to live for and it was as simple as that.

For so long Luke had no one and had no one care about him and that kind of treatment would mess with anyone; not to mention that the excessive bullying from the kids at school that would leave him bruised and bleeding.

Luke blamed life itself for making him want to kill himself and he knew that was no reason to lock him up in some loony farm.

"No " Luke said loudly and he could feel Tabby looking worriedly down at him "I don't want to go to a mental hospital"

"It's a very nice one, Luke; the best in the state and they would get you the help you need" Tabby said then she was reaching out to put a hand on Luke's arm but Luke was quick to pull away, even though the quick movement hurt his sore body.

"I'm NOT crazy" Luke said sternly before looking up at her and she seemed like she was close to tears.

Luke knew that she was kind and that her intentions were good but if she only knew what Luke had been through she would know that sending him to a mental institute was not the best choice. All he needed was a normal household to live in and a good school to go to and he would be fine; he would be fixed.

"No...no honey of course you aren't. I know you have been through a lot but this will be good for you. The maximum that you would stay there is 6 months but if you start doing good before then then you can come home"

Six Months. Luke knows he can't stand living in a place like that for a half a year. It would literally make him go crazy.

"I live in Napa Valley, California and I know you will love it" she was smiling but it actually seemed sincere.

So Luke was pretty positive that Tabby was rich but he should have guessed with the way she is dressed; knowing that she had money gave him hope though because he knew he wouldn't have to go without food like he did a lot while he was living with his mother.

"We will talk more about this later okay?" she said patting his arm and she was then walking back to the couch to put her big purse over her shoulder.

Luke was glad when she put the remote by him so he at least could watch TV and not think about bad things.

The green eyed boy from his dream was still on his mind, even when he had a funny episode of Rob & Big playing in front of him, and he didn't know why but that boy had really affected him and he wanted to know more about him. He also knew that dreams didn't work like that though and that he would never see the boy again considering that reoccurring dreams were very rare and he had never had them before.

Luke knew he had to stop thinking about Michael because he had enough on his mind right now. Even though the mental institution thing scared him to death he tried to believe Tabby when she said it would help him because that's all he wants, is to be cured of this sadness that had been plaguing him ever since he could remember.

He wanted to get better and he knew he had to try and help himself because no one was going to just do it for him and he let a deep breath out as he watched TV and tried to have happy thoughts for once.

He had felt like he had for sure hit rock bottom by overdosing so he knew the only way to go was up. Luke just hoped that the floor didn't collapse and bring him down even further.

  
*

  
Luke knew he only had a few days left until he was released from the hospital but he felt himself going insane because it felt like he head been trapped in this white room for months.

There was only so much time that he wanted to spend watching TV then once his eyes started to burn he would just lay in bed or order a bunch of food up to his room.

That was one good thing about being here; the food. He had heard terrible rumors about the food at hospitals tasting like death but for some reason he thought it was delicious. Yet again, that could be because he was used to hot dogs and french fries back at home because it was the only thing his mother ever bought.

Luke was currently eating in his bed and today was Macaroni and Cheese and he was actually smiling as he ate it because he hadn't had it since he was young and he had forgotten how much he liked it.

He jumped a bit when he heard a knock at the door and he knew he had heard that knock before so he relaxed.

The nice doctor from before came walking in with a smile on his face and Luke couldn't help but return it.

"How are you feeling today, Luke?"

"Good" he said honestly then he was glancing down at his food tray "Mac and cheese is my favorite"

That got a chuckle out of the young doctor and then he was stepping closer to Luke.

"I'm not technically allowed to do this so it has to be our little secret, okay?"

Luke wasn't sure what he was even agreeing to but he felt himself nodding fast.

"I know how it is to be stuck in a hospital room for several days so I came up here to see if you wanted to come with me to do a few things around the hospital; you know, stretch your legs a bit. It'll do you good"

"Yeah!" Luke said in an excited voice because this was the best thing that he had heard all day "I would love to"

"Great" he smiled then he was bringing something from behind his back "You can put these on if you'd like"

He had in his hand a pair of white slippers with the name of the hospital on them and Luke nodded before taking them then dropping them to the floor to slip on.

His legs were a little weak as he stood because all he had done the past few days was get up to go to the bathroom or to go sit against the window at night.

"You good?" the doctor said when he saw Luke slow down his steps a bit and Luke was quick to nod. He just needed to get walking again and he knew he would be fine.

Luke walked close to Dr. Reed after they exited the room and began walking down the bright hallway. The smell of cleaner was much stronger out here than in his room and Luke was glad that his room didn't smell like this.

"Where are we going first?" Luke asked as they were stopping by an elevator.

"I have to pick up some paperwork on the NICU floor" Dr. Reed smiled at him before the elevator was ringing and opening it's door for them to walk into.

Luke didn't know what the NICU was but he knew that he shouldn't bombard the doctor with a bunch of annoying questions.

They were the only ones in the elevator as it acceded downwards and Luke could feel the slow drop from beneath his feet.

When the elevator stopped again the were greeted by double doors right in front of them and he watched as the doctor waved his card that hung around his neck in front of a red laser light before there was a loud beep.

They walked in and Luke was surprised to see that the hallway lights were dimmed similar to how his room was.

Dr. Reed was turning the right and Luke was quick to follow.

In front of him was a corner that had several sinks and a paper towel dispenser hanging from the wall.

"The babies in this hall are very sick and it is very easy for them to catch something so everyone who comes in this hall has to wash their hands for a full minute" The doctor spoke as he washed his hands then Luke was quick to do the same in the sink next to him.

He counted to a minute in his head then washed them for a few more seconds, just to be careful, then he was drying his hands thoroughly. The last thing he ever wanted to do was get baby sick and risk their life.

Dr. Reed was waiting for him once he was done then they were walking down the hall again.

Luke would glance in the windows of the doors they would pass and he couldn't believe how quiet it was up here. The only thing that could be heard was their feet on the linoleum floor.

Mr. Reed was stopping in front of a desk that was built into the wall where a small girl with glasses sat behind it.

She looked very worn out but then it occurred to Luke that it was after 9pm so he knew she was working the night shift and he didn't blame her for being so tired.

"Hi, Rene. Could I have the document that Dr. Sanborn sent up?" Luke heard Dr. Reed say then Luke found himself looking around a bit.

He looked at the bare walls the he found himself settling on the door directly across from them.

There was a light colored pink curtain blocking most of his view into the room but then he seen it move and suddenly it was moving entirely out of the way.

Luke could now see a woman with her back to him and he swallowed hard when he could see her shoulders moving up and down violently as she had her head down.

She seemed to be holding something since her arms weren't by her side and Luke moved his head a bit to see better.

The woman was slowly moving to the side so she was almost fully facing the door and that was when Luke looked down to see a baby wrapped up in a blue blanket that was held to her chest.

Luke honestly didnt know a lot about newborn babies but he was almost positive that it was not normal for them to be that small and he felt like the baby should at least be moving a bit. Luke knew he didn't have the best view of it from here but it looked like the infant wasn't even breathing.

Without even noticing that he was doing it Luke felt himself taking a few steps closer to the door then he as stopping in the middle of the hall.

Behind the woman with the baby stood a man with his hands on her shoulders and now that Luke was closer he could see the tears on both of their faces.

Luke actually jumped when a figure emerged from behind the man and woman and it almost seemed like the person was foggy looking.

Luke blinked his eyes at bit but the fogginess was still there and it was only on the person behind the man and woman.

The figure was wearing all white and Luke was immediately confused when neither the man or the woman acknowledged the other person's presence; they were both still looking down at the infant.

The figure was even setting his hand on the man's shoulders and the two people still didn't look up or even flinch.

Luke's heart began to beat faster as the foggy figure started to become as clear as the people they were standing next to and Luke could tell that the figure was a man...a man with a blond curls and soft brown eyes and Luke almost dropped to the floor right then and there.

The man that had appeared out of thin air was Ashton from his dream and Luke started to wonder if he was dreaming right now but he sure didn't feel like he was dreaming. He specifically remembered waking up.

He watched closely as Ashton moved to where he was next to the woman instead and then he was setting his hand softly on the infants head and Luke knew he had to be imagining things as he seen a gold ora around the infant as soon as Ashton touched it. He had to be dreaming; there was no way this was real.

"Luke, you ready?"

Luke jumped sky high and turned around to see Dr. Reed standing there.

"Yeah" Luke said quickly then he was looking back at Ashton one more time before he was following Dr. Reed.

Maybe this wasn't a dream after all and Ashton was real but only Luke could see him.

All it once it occurred to Luke that if Ashton was real then Michael was real too and for some reason he felt a warmness wash over him.

In his "dream" Michael had clearly been the bad guy and Ashton was the good guy so why was Luke so drawn to Michael instead of Ashton?

Luke wasn't sure of anything right now but he started to realize that maybe it was a good thing that he was going to a mental institution because he was sure that he was going crazy.

 

 


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yes I named the institution after a band. I somehow already have half of this fic written so there will be on time updates for quite sometime. I don't think I will run into writers block with this one cause I already have like all of it planned out in my layout. 
> 
> Also keep in mind that I'm not claiming to know anything about mental institutions so this won't be perfectly accurate. I'm just basing it off of movies and my own imagination

Even without the windows down Luke could tell they were close to the ocean and he couldn't remember the last time he had seen it.

Back when he was living with his mom he felt trapped inside of his town and sometimes he even forgot that there was this huge world outside of it. His room was the place that he escaped to it and it was the only place that he felt safe from everything; unfortunately it couldn't save him from himself.

As he was in the backseat of the cab he kept looking on both side of the road and there were palm tree and a cloudless, sunny sky above him. It seemed like such a happy town but yet Luke felt as gloomy as he did back in Portland.

It rained constantly in Portland and the city's weather always matched the way he was feeling. Maybe this town would make him happy and honestly it was his only hope.

His image of mental institutions were only from what he seen on TV. He just didn't want people constantly breathing down his neck and trying to convince him that he's crazy; Luke knew he was not crazy. He was just sad and he had to keep telling himself that.

Before he had got in the taxi his aunt Tabby had hugged him for way too long then told him that he would be fine and that Seahaven would make him better. Luke didn't really believe that he could be fixed that easily but he had nodded his head anyways. Tabby had said that she had some business trip and that she couldn't take him to the institution and Luke had been sad about it; the thought of a stranger taking him to his new home was quite unsettling.

Now that he was in the taxi he peered up at the driver and looked a the red haired man in the rear view mirror. He looked tired of life and Luke really related to that.

As they were getting into the busy part of town and going through traffic lights Luke got this yucky thought in his head where he began to wish that they would get into an accident so that he didn't have to go to Seahaven. Wishing death upon another human was low even for Luke and he knew he had to think of something else.

When he had died and been stuck in that pure black room he had been so terrified and wished he was alive but now he had gotten his wish but he still felt like he would rather be dead. He was confusing himself and even for a second he just wished he could turn his brain off.

They seemed to be getting out of the city a bit and as they continued down the road Luke began to look around at all the nice homes that were surrounding him. He had only seen mansions like this on TV.

They passed a particular house that caught his eye and Luke even turned around in his seat to to look back at it.

The house was made out of brick with three stories and two different balcony's that seemed to go around the entire house. At the front door were two large black statues that were lions and a fountain was also in the middle of the circular paved driveway.

As they got further away and the house became smaller Luke could see an in ground pool.

"The founder of Seahaven lives in that house"

Luke turned around at the voice and seen the driver looking back at him in the rear view mirror.

"Every house on this road is owned by someone who is affiliated with Seahaven" the man continued and that calmed Luke; this institution was obviously just as nice as his aunt had described it and she wasn't just saying that to make him feel better.

"Does Seahaven have a pool?" Luke knew it was a stupid question as soon as he said it.

The driver chuckled at him.

"Sorry kid; no pool but they have tennis courts and a theater" and Luke raised his eyebrows at that; he had never heard of a loony bin having tennis courts or a theater.

"So it won't be scary like they make them seem in the movies?" Luke asked shyly. He had comfort already but he wanted more.

"No it isn't scary. You'll be in very good hands" the driver said and Luke smiled and let out a relieved sigh at that.

"Thank you" Luke didn't know why he was thanking the stranger but the driver smiled anyways.

Luke looked down at his shoes as they carried on down the road and he just hoped for the best.

He could see the shadows of the palm trees on his lap as they went past them and in this moment Luke found himself thinking about Ashton and how he had seen him in the hospital. He wished that he would have been able to see Ashton for a longer period of time but honestly he still wasn't sure if he was even really seeing Ashton or if the boy was just a figure of his imagination.

"Well here we are" the driver said and Luke was quickly picking his head up.

In front of his eyes was a cement building that had several floors and lots of windows. They pulled into the black top driveway and Luke watched as they passed the big black sign with blue lettering that read "Seahaven" and it had a few seagulls painted on it.

They went around a large circled driveway that also had a fountain but this one was much larger and had blue water coming off of it.

Everything about this place was so nice and comforting but when Luke looked up at the windows he was now a lot closer and he could see the silver bars behind the glass and he felt himself swallowing hard. It suddenly made Luke feel like this was a prison and he didn't even notice that the car had stopped until the driver was getting out.

Luke was quick to open his door and as soon as he put his feet on the blacktop this all seemed so much more real and he realized that this was his new home.

He looked at the driver getting into the trunk to grab the bag but Luke was quickly looking back to the building. He looked past it and let his eyes wonder across the perfectly green grass then in the distance he could see another large building a few other small ones.

In a way it reminded him of a college campus but without all of the scrambling students and happy energy. Instead, the only sound that could be heard was birds and the sound of light traffic.

Luke could smell the ocean though so he knew they were close to it and that gave him comfort.

"Luke Hemmings, we've been expecting you" came a high pitched female voice and Luke looked to the white steps that lead to the front doors. On the top steps he could see a girl with long, straight brown hair tied back in a pony tail and she had white heels. She looked like the average rich girl and Luke was shocked at how young she really looked.

He opened his mouth to say something but nothing came out. Instead he watched as she came down the steps with a bright smile on her face.

The driver was handing Luke's one bag to her then she nodded at him before he was walking back to his cab.

Luke wasn't sure why but he found himself looking back at the driver. He was scared that this driver would be the last normal person he would see for a while.

Luckily the driver looked back at him then he was giving Luke a nod before getting in the cab again.

Luke watched him leave then he knew he had to look back to the girl.

Up close she was even prettier than from a distance and she was still smiling at him like she was actually happy that he was here.

"Let's get you settled in alright?" she said and Luke nodded before following her back up the stairs "I'm Lyla and I'm one of the therapists here in the mens building”

Luke had honestly forgotten about his conversation with the therapist in the hospital but that therapist had been an old man who acted like he hated his job. He kept making Luke feel like he was indeed crazy and Luke hated him a little. He hoped that old man wasn't his therapist.

"So you'll be my therapist?" Luke found himself asking and she smiled at him before opening the big glass door.

"I have not been assigned to you, no but you will meet your therapist sometime tomorrow. We just don't want to throw too much at you at one time" she said and that wasn't the answer that Luke wanted but he knew it was all he had right now.

They were walking into a large foyer with white marble flooring that caused squeaks to echo all around them and Luke looked up to see two stair cases on each side and a chandelier hanging in the middle of the two staircases. He was in awe at how beautiful this place was and at this point Luke felt like his aunt had downplayed how nice this place was.

"I'll show you to your room first, Luke and we will get you all settled in" she sad turning to him again and Luke nodded quickly before looking around again; he just couldn't stop looking around.

He followed Lyla up the stairs and Luke kept looking down and he watched a girl in scrubs walk below them with a clipboard in her hands and then she was turning down a hallway.

His nervousness that he had felt in the car was less now but he knew it could come back at any second if something bad happened and he was just trying to live by the second and not worry about the future.

It was still just as silent upstairs as it was downstairs and all that could be heard was the clicks of Lyla's heels.

At first Luke was comforted by the silence but now it was starting to freak him out a little like...where was everyone and why were they all so quiet? He began to wonder if all the people here were just put on such numbing drugs that they just laid in bed all day but Luke knew there was no way that that was even legal.

"This will just be a moment" Lyla said to him and Luke was confused as to what she meant until she was stopping at a counter where a lady was handing over what looked like clothes. Luke should have known that they would wear uniforms here but he knew that was the least of his worries.

They were walking again and Luke was quick to follow.

They kept walking past grey doors and they seemed to go on forever until Lyla was finally stopping at a door that read B20. The door was closed and Luke actually held his breath as she started to open it.

"Well, here we are" she said in her same happy tone like Luke was supposed to be happy about staying in a mental institution. Luke resisted the urge to roll his eyes then he was turning his head and taking in the room.

The first thing that he noticed was that he could see the ocean from both of the two windows that were above the bed. Both of the beds were made up neatly with blue fuzzy blankets that looked warm and there were curtains on the windows to match.

The room didn't give him a scary feeling and he would have smiled if he wasn't scared of all of the unknown things about this place. He hadn't even met his roommate and now he started to feel nervous about that because what if his roommate was a total nutcase who had night terrors or other freaky shit like that. Luke had no idea what to expect.

Lyla walked over to put his small suitcase on the bed furthest away from the main door but Luke seen that it was close to another door that he guessed was the bathroom.

Before coming here Tabby was informed that a lot of things were not allowed here so the only thing that Luke even had in his light suitcase was his MP3 player, his headphones and his favorite blanket that he's had since he was 3. He had been told that everything else he needed would be provided to him.

"Luke" Lyla said softly, leaning forward to look at him "Do you have any questions for me?"

Luke had tons but he knew the one he wanted to ask the most.

"Who's my roommate?"

"Your roommate's name is Calum and he should be up here shortly because lunch just ended. He usually has therapy after lunch but today he has it later because I'm going to have him show you the ropes around here"

As soon as she said "ropes" Luke swears he seen a flash of Michael in the back of his mind with his red ring around his neck. Luke swallowed hard before shaking his head and closing his eyes for a few seconds. As sick as it seemed he just really wanted to see the green eyed boy again.

"Calum is a very nice boy, Luke so you have nothing to worry about" she sensed Luke's silence as nervousness when really Luke just couldn't stop thinking about Michael.

Suddenly Luke began to wonder what happened to Calum's old roommate but he figured it wasn't his place to ask.

"And if you ever need anything Luke you can page me" she said pointing over to the phone on the wall in the middle of the two beds "My pager number is 77. Would you like me to write it down?"

"No that's okay" Luke said quickly "I'll remember it"

  
"Okay" she smiled then she was handing over the white clothes "You can put these on in the bathroom while we wait for Calum"

Luke nodded before grabbing them from her then he was turning around to go into the bathroom.

As Luke stepped into the small bathroom he could see a toilet and just a sink and he wondered where the shower was. He wished he just knew everything about this place all at once because not knowing hardly anything was stressing him out.

As he stripped down to his boxers and looked at the wall in front of him that had no mirror everything about getting into the white outfit felt final. As if taking off his old clothes was like he was shedding out of his old life and into a new one as he put one leg into the white scrub like pants.

He was then taking the shirt and putting his arms in it before buttoning it all the way up. In this moment he was glad that he didn't have a mirror to look in to.

Luke walked out of the bathroom with his old clothes balled up in his hand.

"Umm...were do you want me to put these?"

Lyla was looking away from the widow then back to Luke.

"I will take them. You will get them back when you are released"

Released. Luke hated that word. It seemed like he was being sentenced to years in prison and that terrified him.

Sure, this place looked nothing like a prison but Luke still had no idea of how this place worked and that maybe this therapist was just putting up some sick act to make Luke think that he was safe when he really wasn't.

Luke knew if he overthought much more then he would actually drive himself insane. That was why he was happy when the door began to open.

  
Luke watched closely as a dark haired boy stepped in wearing the same plain white outfit that he had just put on in the bathroom.

The boy let his eyes flicker over to Luke with a frown on his face and Luke was instantly scared that his roommate would be some huge prick and make his life even more miserable.

"Luke" Lyla said but Luke didnt tear his eyes away from the boy that was still standing in the doorway "This is Calum, your roommate"

And Luke expected that much but he again resisted the urge to roll his eyes. He knew that Lyla was just trying to be nice but he really didn't like how she was treating him like he was some child.

Calum was then giving Luke a quick nod and a closed mouth smile but it was gone in an instant then he was walking over to his bed and Luke watched as the boy flattened his blanket out.

"Calum, I expect that you will make Luke feel very welcome and I told him that you would show him around"

"Yes, mam" Calum's voice was low and he spoke in a bored tone while he still focused on his blanket on his bed like he was trying to make sure that there wasn't a single lump.

Luke felt like Calum was trying to avoid eye contact with Lyla which didn't make sense to him since the lady seemed to be very nice. He again realized that there was so many things about his place that he was unaware of and maybe she really wasn't nice at all.

"Well" She clapped her hands together and it made Luke jump and look away from Calum to focus on her "once again...Welcome to Seahaven, Luke and Dinner is at 6"

"Okay" Luke felt the need to verbalize that he had heard her because he nodded but she had still continued to look at him.

Lyla gave Calum a once over, with a smile still on her face, then she was walking quickly out of the room on her loud high heels.

Luke let out a little breath after she had left then he was looking back to Calum who was now standing by the window and looking out it as if Luke wasn't even there.

Luke was about to ask Calum if he was going to give him a tour like Lyla had said he would but then he felt another presence in the room.

"Hey, Calum did you-" the stocky boy that was standing in the doorway was then looking at Luke and his face was erupting into a huge smile. His perfectly straight teeth almost seemed to glow with how white they were "You must be the new guy" he said pointing at him.

"Yeah...I'm Luke"

"Well, Luke" the boy said his name as if he didn't really believe that Luke was telling the truth about it "You look relatively normal so what got you landed here? Did you get a D- in school or some shit?" and he chuckled a bit and Luke was scared that this kid would be like the kids back in school who bullied him and he knew he wouldn't be able to deal with that.

"No" Luke shook his head then bit his lip and looked to Calum for some reason. Calum was looking at him too acting like he was actually interested in knowing why Luke was here too. Maybe everyone here had to say why they were here before they were really accepted "I umm...I overdosed"

"Interesting" the boy in the doorway said as he rubbed at his jaw and looked past Luke "Heroin? You look like a Heroin dude" and Luke would have scoffed at that but he was honestly a bit scared of this guy asking him all these questions. He had these light grey eyes and he wasn't muscly but he was a lot more stocky than Luke was and Luke was sure that the boy could hurt him if he really wanted to.

"Pills" Luke said with no shame because these kids were obviously just as messed up as him, if not more,if they were here.

"Really?" the boy smirked and Luke saw him look over at Calum "Look at that, Cal. You two are both pill poppers"

"Go suck a dick" Calum said harshly before he was sitting on the edge of his bed and taking his shoes off.

Luke felt himself smile a bit when the pale boy sucked in a breath and put a hand on his chest like he was greatly offended. Luke could tell straight way that this guy and Calum were friends.

"Luke, have you gotten the grand tour yet?"

"No" Luke shook his head then looked over at Calum because he was supposed to be taking him on the tour.

"Come along then" the boy lazily motioned him forward by lifting his hand up and flicking his fingers towards himself.

Luke watched as Calum was then unwinding his big headphones then sticking them on his ears and pressing the small black MP3 player in his hand. The music was so loud that Luke could heard the rock music from where he was standing.

Calum was then sitting fully on his bed and against the headboard as he leaned his head back and closed his eyes.

Luke had a feeling that Calum would be a difficult roommate to deal with if he ever wanted conversation.

Luke was then walking to the doorway and following the other boy out into the hallway. Luke was just about to ask the boy what Calum's problem was but the boy spoke up first.

"I'm Taran by the way" the boy said slowing down to walk right next to Luke "And Calum will warm up to you in time. Just takes him a bit longer than most people" and Luke nodded at that because he was like that himself. With him and Calum both being like that he wondered if they would ever become friends.

"What happened to his old roommate?" Luke heard himself asking before he could even consider if it was the polite question to ask.

He knew it wasn't when Taran frowned and let out a breath as he looked at the shiny white floor beneath them.

"Carver got transferred to another institution after he tried to set the whole building on fire" Taran spoke it so casually but Luke was in shock that someone would try and take so many peoples lives.

"He was a Lifer like Calum is so they were really close" Taran continued as they got to one of the staircases that led to first floor.

"Lifers?" Luke asked, confused by the word.

"People who will be here until they die" Taran said then he was looking back at Luke and smiling and it scared Luke.

Plus the thought of being here forever was enough to make him shake in his shoes.

"How many Lifers are here?"

"Only a couple now. There were more when I first got here though"

Luke nodded then they were getting down to the foyer again and he realized that he had asked enough questions. So far, the only person who was being nice to him was Taran and he didn't want to fuck it up by being annoying.

They were then going down a wide hallway that went in between the two staircases and then they were getting to a huge open room.

There were other halls that came off of the big room and it was filled with couches and a big screen TV.

"This is where most people hang out at but it's pretty lame if you ask me" Taran spoke and Luke looked around again to notice a few boys relaxing on the couch and some others were sitting on the floor right in front of the TV.

The TV was the loudest thing in the room but other than that it was quiet and Luke thought it was strange how no one was talking to each other.

Taran was then walking towards the hall to the right and since there was no windows down here it was dark but the lights flicked on above them with each step that they took.

They were passing another big room with lots of round tables and it way nicer than any cafeteria he had ever seen.

There were wall to ceiling windows that covered the entire back wall and there seemed to be plants everywhere. There were even decorative vines that hung from the ceiling by the windows.

They got to 5 stairs at the end of the hallway and they were walking down them then turing and going down more stairs before they were coming up to a foggy window on a door.

As they walked inside Luke could see that they were in a greenhouse but it had no walls but instead just tall one foot windows all around it and the windows were foggy as well. It was a circular room that faced the ocean and even with how much sunlight was coming through it still felt like a sad place and Luke couldn't put his finger on why.

There were plants and flowers everywhere and there was only a cushioned swing in the corner and a few other outdoor chairs.

"Calum is obsessed with flowers" Taran chuckled "It has to do with something from his childhood, I don't fucking know, but this is where we always hang out"

"Is it just you and Calum?" Luke asked as he started to trail his fingers on one of the pink flowers.

"No, there's Sullivan too. You'll meet him at dinner"

"Is the food here good?" Luke asked and it caused Taran to looked back at him and laugh.

"Better than most institutions probably" he said and that made Luke happy. If not for anything else he knew he could at least look forward to eating every day.

  
*

  
Taran ended up showing him the rest of the bottom floor where the big shower rooms were and other recreational rooms. He had informed Luke that the top floors were just full of similar rooms and more patient rooms so they didn't even go up there.

After the tour they had went back to the greenhouse or "The Eden" as Taran had called it.

They had just sat next to each other on the swing surrounded by flowers and sunlight and Luke understood why Taran and his friends liked coming here so much. It was peaceful and they sat in there all way until the intercom above them was announcing dinner.

As Luke talked with Taran he started to wish that this boy was his roommate instead of Calum. He just hoped that Calum warmed up to him like Taran had said he would.

*

It was a much different setting when they got to the cafeteria and in the big windows Luke could see the sun setting above the ocean water in the distance.

No one had informed him if they were allowed to go outside ever but Luke really hoped they could.

The tables looked like they were all filled but Luke just followed Taran through the tables as they were carrying their trays. Taran seemed to know where he was going so Luke trusted him.

There was a small amount of chatter in the echoing room but it was not even close to as loud as he remembered his cafeteria being when he was back in school.

They were coming up to a table in the way back corner in between two windows and Luke spotted Calum and one other boy, that he guessed was Sullivan. The other boy had glasses on and he had a huge smile on his face as he talked to Calum but Calum was just moving his food with his spoon as if he didn't even care to hear what Sullivan was saying.

"Hey fuckers" Taran said, slamming his tray down on the table at a chair in front of them and Luke was putting his down too.

He looked over to see Taran taking a tulip out of his back pocket and setting it down in front of Calum's tray before sitting down.

Luke focused on Calum to see if he responded to the nice gesture but he just kept looking down at his tray so Luke sat down next to Taran.

Luke began to wonder if Calum had always been like this or if he became so glum only after his lost his roommate.

"So how did therapy go today, Sullivan?" Taran said with a smirk and Luke looked over to the boy with the stylish glasses.

"He agreed to raise my prescription if I sucked him off" Sullivan said casually and Luke picked his head up to check for any sort of smile or sign that he was kidding on his face but there wasn't any.

"How nice of him" Taran said back as he started to eat his corn and Luke didn't even care about eating until he knew what the hell was going on.

"Jaws a little sore but I can't complain" Sullivan shrugged then he was looking up at Luke as if he could sense his eyes on him then he was smiling wide showing his teeth "You must be Luke. Calum told me all about you"

And Luke scrunched his face up because that didn't sound like something Calum would do at all and he looked over to see Calum rolling his eyes before he was taking a drink of his chocolate milk.

"He didnt really" Taran said leaning over to mumble to Luke "Sullivan is a pathologic liar"

It then made sense and Luke realized that Sullivan didn't really do any sexual favors for his therapist.

"So who's your therapist?" Sullivan asked and Luke for some reason looked back to Calum before answering.

"I don't know yet. I don't meet with them until tomorrow"

"You better hope it's Franco" Sullivan said before pointing his fork at him.

"Who's...Franco?" Luke looked to Taran, hoping the boy would answer him because so far Taran was honestly the only person that Luke trusted.

"He's a hot ass therapist who looks almost identical to a young James Franco" Taran answered him "Even if you don't fluently speak fag like Sullivan does you'll still think that Franco is attractive as hell"

Luke hated that word but brushed it off. It was a name he got called quite frequently in school. He had labeled himself as gay for several years now but he knew it wasn't necessary to tell these boys that...unless they asked him then he of course wouldn't lie.

"You better eat up, kid" Taran said to Luke as he gestured down to his tray of food that he hadn't even touched yet because of all of the information that he was absorbing "If you don't then you'll end up like Petey over there"

Luke looked over his shoulder to where Taran was pointing and he saw a very skinny kid sitting at a table all by himself except for one other man who was dressed in blue scrubs.

The scrubs man was feeding the boy and the boy was acting as if eating was the worst thing in the world as he actually had tears running down his cheeks.

Suddenly the man stopped force feeding the boy and took a small phone out of his pocket and then was hurrying to stand.

The man was then waving over a girl in scrubs over to the table and Luke looked back to see the kid bending over a bit and spitting the food into a napkin under the table before sticking it in his pocket.

Luke widened his eyes when he seen the man who had originally been sitting by the kid come back to the table and he ripped the kid out of the seat;clearly he had see him spit the food out.

The kid started letting out the strangest screeching noises as he struggled to get out of the mans hold and Luke was frozen watching the scene before him.

The man was then pulling out a needle and injected the boy and Luke looked away to see no one else in the cafeteria looking at the scene; they were acting like it was just a normal thing that happened every day.

The boy was now being carried out of the room as he laid limp in the mans arms and Luke wondered where they were taking the boy. Yet again, he wasn't sure he wanted to know.

This had been the first strange thing he had seen all day and he realized that there would be many more to come; he was in mental institution after all.

  
When Luke looked back to the table Calum had his head still pointed down but his eyes were right on Luke as he had the smallest smirk in the corner of his lips like he knew exactly what Luke had just realized and Luke would be lying if he said he wasn’t a bit terrfied.

  
*

  
Calum had gone straight to his late therapy session right after lunch and Sullivan had said he was going to The Eden.

Luke was now walking down the 2nd floor hallway with Taran after he agreed to go with Taran so that the boy could get something from his room but he hadn’t told Luke what he was getting.

Luke was stopping at his own door and telling Taran that he had to use the bathroom before they went to The Eden and Taran had nodded before walking away from Luke and going into the next door. It comforted Luke to know that Taran was right next door to him if he ever needed him.

Luke walked into his empty room and walked into the bathroom before quickly taking a piss and washing his hands. He usually wasn't such a germaphobe but for some reason he felt like he would get sick if he didn't wash his hands and he really hoped that he wasn't developing some new problem; it was the last thing he needed.

Luke was looking down at the floor as he walked out but his head was quickly snapping up at the blackness he could see in his vision that hadn’t been there before.

Every patient here wore the same white outfit so Luke was deeply nervous about the figure that was standing facing the window with his arm above his head leaning against the glass.

Everything on the boy was black, from his hair to his shoes, and Luke sucked in a breath when the figure started to turn around then he was smirking wide and putting his hands in his dress pants pockets as he rocked back and forth.

"Well hi"

Luke swore he stopped breathing and he found himself backing up into the wall and then flinching when he didn’t even remembering doing it.

"What? Not happy to see me?" the boy in black talked in a teasing voice but used a tone like he was talking to a dog.

"You...You- how are you here? Am I dead? I didn't even take any pills" Luke managed to get out and he pressed himself more against the wall as Michael stepped forward a few steps as he smiled down at the floor.

"You aren't dead, kid. I was in the neighborhood. You know, collecting a soul" as Michael spoke confidence always seemed to be dripping off of his tongue and Luke was so drawn to him; he hated that he was but he just couldn't help it "Any who, I figured I would stop by and see you"

"You can do that?" Luke asked but as soon as he said it he knew it sounded stupid. Michael could obviously do a lot of things.

" I can do anything my black heart desires, baby" Michael said then he was swiping his tongue over his bottom lip and Luke felt his heart beat picking up.

"Ummm" Luke looked away at the floor and wiped a hand over his eyes and he pretended that he didnt hear Michael do a low chuckle at how flustered he was "who's the kid..who died?"

"Look out your door"

Luke hesitated for a few seconds before he was peaking his head out his door and looking to the left. From here he could see paramedics pushing a stretcher towards the elevator and right before they put the white sheet over his face Luke could see him and he recognized the incredibly skinny boy quickly.

"I just seen him" Luke said quietly as he was still looking at the dead boy "At lunch..they were force feeding him"

"And another one bites the dust" Michael said in a boring tone and Luke looked back to see the black haired boy inspecting his fingernails.

"How did he die?" Luke asked as he came back into the room to see Michael sitting on the foot of Calum's bed and resting his palms behind him with his legs spread a bit and Luke pushed away the thought of wanting to kneel in between them.

"He choked on a grape. Who would of thought that an anorexic kid would die from eating?" Michael was then chuckling and Luke frowned at him "It's quite comical really"

"Well did you try to save him?" Luke asked and he knew that was a stupid question when Michael let out a loud laugh.

"Why the fuck would I try to save him? That's not how demons work, sweetheart"

Demon. Sure, Luke had known that Michael was from an afterlife and that he was clearly not one of the good guys but hearing him actually say what he was made Luke scared. A demon was sitting right in front of him and Luke knew the boy could cause him harm, or even kill him if he wanted to.

"Am I the only person who can see you?" Luke whispered.

"Only people who have died can see me but not many people have died and lived to tell about"

"So when I saw you last time...that wasn't a dream?"

"It was not. I almost had you too but those damn doctors. They always fuck things up for me" Luke seen anger flash over Michael's face right then but Michael's possessive behavior towards him had his stomach doing a flip like it did when he was turned on. He was beginning to scare himself.

"But what if I would have went to heaven?" Luke couldn't help but ask. At the mention of that place Luke widened his eyes when he seen Michael's eyes turn entirely black for only a second.

" I wouldn't have let Ashton take you from me" Michael stood up and rested his palms on the top of his head "Those godly people, they have no spines. They just follow what some ancient book tells them. It's pathetic really"

Luke felt speechless and as Michael let his arms fall he started to walk forwards toward Luke and Luke felt nervous and excited all at the same time.

Luke felt himself shaking when Michael stood right in front of him then he was leaning forward and brushing his lips right up against the side of Luke's neck and even from just that tiny touch he felt goosebumps erupt all over his body and he had never felt a feeling like this.

Michael gripped hard on Luke's hip and dragged his lips so that they were right below Luke's ear and Luke let out a small whimper when Michael kissed the skin there and he felt Michael smile against him.

"Evil always wins in the end; just remember that" Michael whispered and Luke looked up to see the lights flickering up above him as Michael spoke and he swallowed hard.

Michael squeezed his hip so hard that Luke clenched his eyes shut, not wanting to cry out, then the boy was backing up and Luke watched as Michael's eyes faded back to green and then he was ruffling Luke's hair and smiling.

"Good talk, kid but duty calls" Michael said in a completely different tone than before and it was as if Luke was seeing an entirely different person now.

Michael turned around but Luke didn't want him to leave yet. He should have but he didn't.

"Wait!" Luke said as Michael was standing in the doorway and Michael turned to look at him with raised eyebrows "Am I gonna see you again?"

"I guarantee it" Michael smirked then winked at Luke before walking out of the room.

Luke went to the doorway to watch Michael walk away.

"Luke" came a voice and Luke looked over to see Taran walking out of his own room "What are you looking at?"

Luke looked back to the left to see Michael now beginning to walk down the stairs then in an instant he was gone and nothing but a black cloud of smoke was left.

"Nothing" Luke mumbled sadly then Taran was lightly hitting his arm.

"Come on then. The boys are waiting"

Luke nodded before following Taran down the hallway and tried to hide his stiffened dick that was under the light fabric of his white pants. Luke had it bad for Michael and he knew this wouldn't end well.

Luke realized right then that If anyone was going to drive him crazy it would be the dead boy who he already couldn't stop thinking about.

 


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ummm lots happens in this chapter and let’s see if anyone notices the Stand By Me reference. Also I made a character aesthetic for [Taran](http://clifford-affliction.tumblr.com/post/154169654194/taran-testeryour-eyes-are-cooler-than-my-beating) (Just in case you're wondering what they look like) And one for Sullivan as well but I can't link it but if you click on the tag "character aesthetics" it will show you Sullivan's as well. It's just hard doing this on moble anyways enjoy!

As Luke woke up the next morning the first thing he did was look beside him to check if Calum was there and he was surprised to see that he was.

Last night Luke had been awoken at an ungodly hour to the sound of feet hitting the floor and he had looked beside him to see that Calum was getting out of his bed.

Luke had put his face halfway under the covers as he watched his roommate leave their room in just the small light coming in through the window from outside. He had no idea where Calum could have possibly gone but he knew there was no way that he was going to ask.

Calum seemed like a very closed off person and Luke knew he would have to wait for Calum to come to him first before they developed any kind of relationship with him. Luke knew he could of had it way worse though considering his location. He was just happy that Calum minded his own business and didn't try to start anything.

Now Luke was rubbing at his eyes as he watched Calum, once again, sitting at the edge of his bed and Luke was feeling like he didn't even want to get out of bed like he always did every morning. He didn't know what time it was but he could tell it was early by the way the sun was sitting in the sky when he had glanced out the window.

Luke felt himself tensing up a bit when Calum was making eye contact with him before he was standing up.

"You showering?" he asked and Luke couldn't believe that Calum was actually talking to him.

"Y-yeah" Luke nodded.

"Follow me then" Calum spoke like it was painful to talk to Luke but Luke was quick to sit up and follow Calum out of their room.

*

When they got down to the lower level Luke was following Calum into a large room that looked a lot like the locker rooms at his old high school except there wasn't any lockers and just more showers.

Before they had walked in they had also passed under metal detectors and that was also a thing that he didn't have at his school.

The showers were separated by entire walls so there was a lot of privacy and that made him feel comforted. He did start to wonder why they didn't just have showers in their own rooms because they were for sure rich enough to do it that way.

Calum grabbed a towel from the rack then going to his own shower and Luke could already hear a couple of other showers going.

Luke did the same then he was quick to find his own shower. He adjusted the water temperature and stripped down. Sure, he missed showering in his own private room but he knew he couldn't complain.

As he got under the hot water he felt himself letting out a breath and rubbing at his wet shoulders a bit as he hung his head down and let the water run over his body.

He was trying this new thing where he didn't worry about what the future would bring and instead focused on whatever he was currently doing. Right now he was focused on relaxing and also trying extremely hard not to think about Michael.

The boy was a demon for fucks sake and it wast the last thing that Luke needed; especially since no one else could see Michael and Luke didn't want people thinking that he talked to himself if they ever showed up when Michael was there. Luke just hoped that Michael at least tried to see him whenever no one else was around.

"My ears are ringing"

Luke jumped sky high at the sing song tone behind him and he quickly turned around to see said Demon, that he had literally just been thinking about, standing right in front of him. Michael was leaning against the grey marble wall that surrounded 3 of the 4 sides of the shower. The boy of course had a smirk on his face and Luke was convinced that Michael had a shit eating grin on his face at all times; not that Luke could complain; it was sexy as hell.

"You know I can sense it when you think about me, right?" Michael let out a chuckle and Luke felt as if his whole body was blushing "It's okay though" Michael's smile faded then he was pushing himself off the wall and taking a few steps towards Luke "I'm flattered, honestly"

When Michael's eyes roamed slowly down Luke's body and he let out a whistle it was then that Luke remembered that he was naked and he was quick to put his arms over his crotch in attempt to cover himself up.

"Come on, don't be bashful" Michael said softly as he took a few more steps until he was in arms reach of Luke.

"Why-" Luke cut himself off as he remembered that he should be whispering so people didn't think he was talking to himself "Why do you keep showing up?"

"Cause I want you"

Luke swallowed hard and he didn't really know what Michael meant by that. Did he want to kill Luke and take him to hell? He just didn't know and he didn't have time to ask either because Michael was stepping even closer to him and not tearing his eyes away from the blue eyed boy in front of him.

Luke watched as Michael stepped under the shower and the water started to drench Michael's hair and black suit that he always wore.

In a quick movement Michael was putting both of his hands on Luke's bare hips and pressing him against the wall with a thud and Luke would have winced at the pain if he wasn't so turned on.

Luke felt goosebumps on his skin and Michael started to rub his hands up his sides and then he was burrowing his face in Luke's neck.

"And I know you want me too" Michael spoke in a whisper and Luke actually let out a moan like he had been holding it in the whole time.

Without warning Michael started to quickly bite marks up the side of Luke's neck and Luke felt like his legs were going to give out on him.

Luke had been with other boys in the past but he had never felt so intense like this before; yet again he had never fooled around with a dead boy before.

It felt like the water running down him got so much hotter when Michael took one hand off of Luke's hip and instead harshly wrapped it around the side of Luke's neck as he started to suck on the other side of Luke's neck; using his teeth every few seconds.

Michael was abruptly taking his head out of Luke's neck then then he was looking at Luke as he took his hand off his neck and started to slowly scratch up and down Luke's torso. Luke couldn't help but close his eyes and put his head against the wall as he let out whimpers.

Michael hadn't even touched his dick and Luke could already feel pleasure running through his whole body.

The demon did have the power to sense certain thoughts that Luke had so Luke was pretty sure that Michael had magical lips and hands too.

Luke tensed his whole body up and sucked in a breath when he felt Michael's hand wrap around his dick tightly and squeeze it and Luke opened his eyes and looked down to see Michael beginning to rub his thumb around the pink tip as he watched his own movements.

"You've got such a pretty dick, baby" Michael spoke in that low sexual voice that drove Luke crazy.

Luke kept averting his eyes from Michael's face then back down to his hand as the black haired boy began pumping his dick at a agonizing pace but Luke was loving every second of it.

Michael leaned down a bit as he started to press open mouth kisses across Luke's chest then he was moving down to suck at one of his nipples and Luke bucked his hips up, making his dick slide through Michael's hand faster.

The boy started to just barely rub his teeth against Luke's sensitive nipple before he was tugging the skin back a little and the pain was almost out weighing the pleasure but Luke still felt himself coming closer to his orgasm. He loved how much Michael used his teeth and how the boy was so harsh with him.

Luke was a whimpering mess but it got even more worse as Michael sped up his hand and wrapped his other hand around the backside of Luke as he started to grip tightly on one of Luke's ass cheeks.

After Luke let out a loud moan he was quick to press his lips together, not wanting it to happen again but the loud moan had Michael taking his lips off of Luke's nipples with a growl before he started to bite at Luke's neck again.

"You are so fucking sexy" Michael said in a breathy tone right in Luke's ear before he licked a stripe up Luke's neck and went back to biting him.

"I'm-" was all Luke managed to get out before he felt a a sharp wave of pleasure start in his stomach then it seemed to go all the way through his body, causing him to shake all over as his orgasm began to rip through him.

Luke clenched his eyes shut as he started to come and Michael pumped him through it as his other hand was now slowly massaging at Luke's ass.

"Oh, Jesus Christ" Luke huffed out as he was heavily breathing and he couldn't help but let his head fall on Michael's shoulder.

Michael was then letting out a breathy chuckle.

"Not even close, sweetheart” he said and Luke instantly realized that he chose the wrong thing to say to a demon and he let out a chuckle of his own.

Michael's hand was coming to the back of Luke's hair and petting softly at it only once before he was gripping at it and making Luke look at him.

Luke watched as Michael took his lip in between his teeth then he was smiling wide as he let his hand drift down to grip at Luke's neck.

Michael had water dripping down his face and Luke widened his eyes as he seen a bit of steam coming off of Michael's chest like what would happen if you put water on a still boiling hot pan.

Luke couldn't help but reach out and run his fingers against the tiny bit of skin that was showing under his dress shirt and he was shocked when the boy was ice cold.

It then occurred to Luke that he really wanted to make Michael feel good too and he started to let his fingers trail down the boys chest.

He only made it past his belly button before Michael was grabbing Luke's wrist tightly and stopping him.

Luke looked up to see the green in Michael's eyes flicker to pitch black and it was so much more frightening up close.

When they were green again Michael was softly smiling then letting go of Luke's wrist.

"Until we meet again" Michael said in a proper voice before he was chuckling.

Luke didn't even have time to respond before thick black smoke was appearing in front of him and when it cleared Michael was no where in sight.

*

(When Luke got out of the shower the first thing he did was walk over to the big mirror and look at himself. He expected to see bite marks and redness all over his skin from Michael but instead all he saw was his pale skin without a single mark. He began to worry that the black haired boy was just a figure of his imagination after all)

*

When he got to the cafeteria for breakfast he had arrived alone after seeing Calum nowhere in sight after he got out of the shower. He expected it though because he knew he had been in the shower a long time.

Even after Michael had disappeared Luke had spent another 10 minutes just touching all of the places on his body that Michael had touched, just wishing that the boy was in front of him again.

Luke knew he should have been creeped out that Michael could read certain thoughts of his but he wasn't because in his opinion he felt like it was a good thing; it meant that he could make Michael show up anytime he wanted to.

Luckily Luke was able to remember where the boys had sat during lunch yesterday and he made it towards the back of the cafeteria to see Calum, Sullivan and Taran all sitting in the same seats they were sitting in yesterday.

No one even noticed him until he was setting his tray next to Taran and then they were all looking up at him.

"Hey!" Taran said in an excited voice and it made Luke smile "How was your first night here?"

Luke sat down then he was tempted to say that he had been woken up in the middle of the night but then he would be forced to tell them why and he didn't want Calum to know that he had seen him leave the room last night.

"Good" Luke said simply "It was the best I've slept in a while" and that part was true.

Back when Luke was living at his moms house he would have nightmares and wake up sweating, just scared that his mother was going to come into his room and start screaming at him in her drunk state of mind like she had done many times before.

"Yeah just wait until they start giving you your pills" Sullivan chipped in and that had Luke looked up from his food "You'll sleep so deep that even a hurricane wouldn't wake you up"

That scared Luke a little though. He was a light sleeper usually and he wanted to be able to wake up if like a crazy person sneaked into their room or something.

"When will they start giving me pills?" Luke asked, wanting to know how many more normal nights of sleep he would get before they started stuffing pills down his throat.

"Your therapist will prescribe you something after your first visit with them" Taran said and Luke started to wonder what Taran had done to wind up in a place like this because he seemed very normal. It then occurred to Luke what Taran had said.

His first visit with his therapist was today and he found himself losing his appetite.

It was only when he remembered what had happened to that anorexic kid yesterday did he start to eat the dry chicken nuggets on his tray.

*

It was right after breakfast when Luke had been going into his room alone that he was being stopped by Lyla. As soon as he seen her he already knew why the girl was stopping him and he was basically dragging his feet as they went back down to the ground floor.

After they got off the stairs they turned left instead of going right like where The Eden and the cafeteria was.

There were more rooms down this hall and they were all close together like school hallways except there were windows but there were white blinds on the insides of them so Luke couldn't see in and the doors on them didn't have windows at all.

Originally Luke hadn't been so nervous to talk to a therapist because he thought it might feel good to get a bunch of stuff of his chest but now he was afraid that he would say one wrong thing then they would prescribe him a bunch of different drugs that would make him feel loopy and out of it all the time.

Luke liked having control over what he did and he had heard stories that pills controlled you and that terrified him.

"Here we are" Lyla said as he stopped at a door that was at the very end of the hall then she was facing Luke with a smile "And don't be nervous, Luke; Dr. McGuire is very kind"

Luke just nodded at that and then she was opening the door for him.

He took a deep breath before stepping inside and he was surprised when he didn't see anyone else.

"He will be with you shortly" Lyla said behind him but Luke didn't turn around to look at her "Just make yourself comfortable"

Luke didn't move from his spot until he heard the door shut behind him then he was stepping out of the small walkway and the room was coming into view.

The walls were a clean white just like the rest of the building was but this room had tons of different painted framed pictures around it that made the room seem more lively.

In front of him was the back of a white leather couch and then a single chair of the same color in front of it. Behind it was a huge window and plants scattered all along the window sill of it.

It looked very peaceful and Luke guessed that it was purposely designed like that.

Cautiously Luke sat in the middle of the long couch and then he was releasing another deep breath, just trying to prepare himself.

Luke flickered his eyes around the room again and it was then that his eyes took a double look at something in the corner. It wasn't even subtle at all and Luke knew it was a small camera; he guessed that he shouldn't be surprised that they recorded all of their sessions.

Alone in this room it was easy for Luke to start thinking of Michael, out of boredom if not anything else, and he couldn't stop thinking of the feeling of Michael biting and kissing at his most sensitive spots like he somehow just knew Luke's body like the back of his hand.

Luke didn't know if Michael had always been that amazing when it came to intimate things like that or if it happened after he got sent to hell. Either way Luke just wanted it to happen again and again and he hoped that next time he was able to touch Michael back.

Luke jumped when he heard the door opening behind him but he didn't look back.

"Hello, Luke" came a deep but smooth sounding voice and Luke somehow knew the man was young without even looking back at him.

He listened as the footsteps got closer until the man was walking past Luke and sitting right in front of him.

"Hi" Luke finally responded and the immediately recognized the mans features and that was when it hit him.

The man smiled softly before picking up a pair of glasses on the table next to him and then grabbing the yellow notebook and pen to set on his lap as his legs were crossed.

Luke looked down when he felt himself blushing as the man looked up at him again.

"Well I am Dr. McGuire" he spoke "Or Franco as the kids call me for some reason" and Luke couldn't help but crack a smile at that. He liked that this doctor obviously paid attention to what the patients said and didn't just write them off as crazy.

"The resemblance is a bit uncanny" Luke found himself saying quietly as he looked up at the man. The therapist was easy to talk to and Luke realized that maybe this wouldn't be so bad after all.

Franco smiled back at him then fixed his tie a bit before moving in his chair a little.

"How are you? Are you well?"

Luke had to think about that because it was a bit of a loaded question.

Right in this moment he was fine and he hadn't had a single suicidal thought since he arrived but knew that could change at any time.

He had only overdosed 2 weeks ago and he knew he was nowhere near recovery.

"I'm okay right now" Luke said "This place isn't bad like I expected it to be"

"I'm glad to hear that" Franco said and Luke watched as he nodded "We do our best here to make everyone as comfortable as possible"

Luke just nodded and he found himself looking out the window. Sure, he wasn't nervous anymore but it didn't mean that he wasn't a bit bored.

"Would you be comfortable talking about your life back in Portland?"

Luke froze a bit at that and looked down at the floor. He knew he would be okay with talking about certain things about his past but there were more things that he didn't want to talk about so he knew Franco was more likely to ask him something about one of the bad things.

"Maybe" Luke said, still unsure and he was biting at his lip a little.

"Okay lets start with school" Franco said in a happy voice but Luke closed his eyes and he started to shake his head "Did you not like school?"

Luke hated it but he hated being at home with his mother even more so he wasn't sure how to answer that.

"Did you not like stress of it?" Franco tried again since Luke didn't respond and he again stayed quiet "Or were you not treated well?"

Luke nodded at that as he still looked at the floor and he could see Franco writing on his notebook.

"Who treated you badly, Luke?"

Everyone, was the first thing that came to Luke's mind because even the teachers looked at him like he was a leper.

"The other kids" Luke mumbled finally.

"Did you ever tell anyone about it? Maybe a counselor?"

"No" Luke shook his head "Everyone hated me there"

"It may have felt like that Luke but I can assure you that-"

"They hated me" Luke cut him off and Franco just quickly nodded before looking down at his paper.

"What about your home life? How was that?"

This was the topic that Luke dreaded the most; his mother.

"It was just my mom and I but she wasn't around much. If she was then she was just screaming at me"

Luke looked up at Franco and he swore he saw pain on the mans face but it was gone quickly.

"It shows here on my record that you were admitted to the hospital five times last year from obvious signs of abuse. They said when asked about it you denied it. Did your mother cause those injuries?" Franco seemed to be flicking his eyes all over Luke's face; attempting to read his expressions "You don't have to lie to me. You're safe here"

Luke closed his eyes at the last sentence and dug his nails into the leather couch under him.

"Sometimes it was from her" Luke admitted "and sometimes it was from kids at school"

"I see" Franco said and Luke heard him writing this time in a fast motion "So did all of that cause you to finally hit your breaking point?"

By breaking point he meant Luke's overdose and Luke was happy that he substituted that word with something else.

"Yes. I felt unwanted...by everyone. I just didn't see the point anymore" he spoke so quietly but he had to admit that it felt so good to get all of those thoughts out of his toxic brain; although he knew that later on he would feel so stupid and empty after admitting all of this.

"Do you still feel unwanted?" Franco asked and Luke was about to answer yes but then he thought about Michael.

The words "Cause I want you" from in the shower earlier echoed in his head and he could still remember the look on Michael's face when he spoke them. Just by the way that Michael had kissed and touched him he could tell that he was wanted by the black haired boy and it was such an intense feeling; especially since Luke had never felt it before.

But of course Luke couldn't tell Franco about this, possibly imaginary, demon that had gotten him off in the shower this morning.

"Sometimes" was what Luke settled for instead.

After that Luke seemed to zone out and all of Franco's questions just seemed to sound the same. He wasn't sure what his therapist would prescribe him but judging by how much he had spilled Luke figured he would be getting some pretty strong drugs.

  
*

  
He was swinging back and forth slowly on the cushioned swing next to Taran in The Eden as the temperature seemed to always be perfect in here.

They were all talking as Calum and Sullivan were sitting in their own outdoor chairs across from the swing but all Luke could think about was Michael but he knew the boy wouldn't show up when other people weren't around; even if said people couldn't see him.

"I had a dream about Jenson last night" Sullivan suddenly said and Luke was confused when it had the other two boys going silent and just starting at Sullivan.

Sullivan was looking down at his lap and Luke had never seen him look so mellow. Luke was able to get a really good look at the boy and he realized how pretty his features really were with his slim face, hipster glasses and dark blue eyes. If Luke was in high school again and Sullivan was another student he was sure he would have a crush on him but he wasn't in high school and he had no idea how Sullivan even landed himself here.

When no one else responded Luke decided he would break the silence by being nosey.

"Who's...Jenson?"

Sullivan looked up at Luke with a saddened look on his face and opened his mouth but then he was looking to the other boys like he was silently asking permission if he could tell Luke about Jenson.

Luke looked over to see Calum sitting casually with his hands in his pants pockets as he looked out the window to the side of them and Taran was rubbing at his jaw as he looked at his own lap. It was as if the other two were refusing to explain who Jenson was and Luke started to regret asking.

"Go show him, Taran" Sullivan said looking over at the grey eyed boy then nodding his head towards the door.

"No fucking way, man" Taran said back in a tired tone.

"Why? You scared?" Sullivan teased and then Taran was chuckling.

"Yeah I am" Taran said confidently "But so are you"

"I'm not scared. I'm just too lazy to walk all the way up there"

"Bullshit" Taran said dragging the word out "You're fucking terrified"

"I am not!" Taran said standing up and Luke found himself jumping and feeling like he wanted to leave with how angry Sullivan was getting.

"Jesus Christ, I'll take him" Calum was saying then he was standing up and pushing Sullivan back into his chair with a push to his chest.

Sullivan landed in the chair and instantly crossed his arms over his chest as he tensed his jaw and glared over at Taran.

"Let's go" Calum said to Luke and Luke honestly didn't want to go anymore now that he knew how much the other two boys were scared of Jenson but it was Calum and maybe Calum would open up to him while they were up there so Luke stood up and followed Calum to the door.

"Don't rip each others throats out while I'm gone" Calum threw over his shoulder before they were leaving the room and Luke felt himself getting more and more nervous the further away they got from The Eden.

*

Calum hadn't said anything the whole time they were passing the first floor and Luke suddenly began to wonder why they never took the elevators since there were tons of them.

"Why can't we take the elevators?" Luke asked without another thought.

He watched Calum walking up ahead of him then they were passing another door and going up more stairs.

"Patients can't use them" Calum said simply and Luke was glad when he elaborated more "A few years ago some kid pulled the emergency button then killed himself in there"

Luke swallowed hard and then started to wonder how many deaths had happened in this building but maybe he really didn't want to know.

"We've got two more floors to go though" Calum said briefly looking down at him and Luke repressed a sigh. They were going to the top floor and he had never been up here before.

They finally were stopping and Calum was opening a heavy white door and Luke followed him through it.

The floor looked the same as all of the others except for it's lack of doors. The rooms up here must be huge because the spaces between them were several feet and from where Luke was he could only see three doors.

Another thing different about the doors up here was that they had small long windows and underneath it looked like a mail slot and Luke was just about to ask Calum why the doors looked so different before the boy was speaking.

"All the Solitary patients are kept up here" he said in his same bored tone.

"Umm solitary?" Luke wasn't sure what he meant.

"The craziest fuckers in the building"

Luke was feeling more nervous than before with what he might see up here.

Right as he was thinking that he heard a loud banging noise behind him followed by a loud scream and Luke fast walked to stand closer to Calum. He was surprised when Calum looked over at him and chuckled.

"It's just Gerald. He has really intense night terrors and he runs into the door and just screams"

"They put him up here because he has night terrors?" Luke asked because that didn't seem like a good reason to lock a person up.

"No" Calum smiled then shook his head "They put him in Solitary because he stabbed his roommate in the neck with a pen"

Luke widened his eyes and looked over to see Calum still smiling as he looked ahead.

"Don't worry" Calum briefly looked at Luke "I don't use pens"

Luke didn't have time to panic more because Calum was stopping in front of a door and looking in the thin window.

Calum only looked in there for a few seconds before he was averting his eyes to the floor like it was painful to look in the room any longer.

"Go ahead" Calum actually spoke softly as he nodded his head towards the door "Take a look"

Luke nodded but hesitated until Calum was raising his eyebrows at him and Luke rushed to press himself against the cold metal door before looking in.

The room was huge, probably three of his own room, just as he had suspected and that was why it took him a second to find the person inside. When he did he let out a breath through his mouth and tried to calm himself down.

The person was sitting down in one of the far corners of the completely padded room facing the wall and the first thing that Luke noticed was that the boy had his shirt off and his entire bare back was beat red. It was only when Luke squinted his eyes and really focused on it that he realized that there were scratches all over and there were just so many that it was hard to tell where one ended and the other began.

The boy was also rocking himself back and forth while he had his hands over his ears and every now and then he would pull at his hair so hard that it would whip his head to the side.

Luke had never seen someone in such a state and he knew he would never forget how this boy looked.

"He said that there was something inside of his body trying to claw itself out so he tried to help it escape by scratching at his body himself" Calum said and Luke rubbed a hand over his face and backed away from the door, not being able to look any longer; especially now that Calum had given that explanation for his scratched up back.

"He also claimed that he was being tortured; that his whole body had been lit on fire" Calum continued and Luke looked over to see the boy now standing closer to the door and peering in the window again; he had no idea how Calum could still look at Jenson " I still remember hearing him screaming at the top of his lungs. I've never heard anyone scream like that before"

Luke closed his eyes and backed away another step. He couldn't believe that Calum had witnessed something like that and was still able to look at the boy.

"But until then was he okay?" Luke asked because he wanted to know if it was possible for something like that to happen to Calum, Sullivan or Taran. It scared him that to think that it could.

"As good as a mental patient can be" Calum chuckled

"Does he still think that he's being lit on fire?" Luke asked, hoping that at least the boy didn't have to go through that anymore.

"If you come up here at night you can hear him screaming. It was why they moved him all the way up here" Calum said looking over at Luke finally.

"So you guys are scared of him" Luke said slowly and he understood why they were now.

"Not because he's a scary person. It's because this happening was way too close to home for us. He was our best friend and it's scary cause this could have been one of us" Calum shook his head "This could still be one of us in the future"

"I'm sorry" Luke whispered because it was that only thing he could think of to say.

Calum just briefly smiled in response.

"Well now you know the strory of Jenson Pine” Calum said after he stopped smiling and it seemed like he wanted to leave so Luke took a step back. He honestly didn't want to be here any longer.

As if on auto pilot though he was looking back into the window to now see Jenson hitting his head against the wall and he could hear a quiet mumbling that Luke was glad he couldn't hear clearly; he didn't want to hear the thoughts of such a damaged person.

  
*

  
Even long after they left the top floor Luke was still thinking about Jenson and how awful he felt for a boy he didn't even know.

Calum, Sullivan and Taran were best friends with Jenson though and Luke couldn't even imagine how they felt; no matter how long it's been since it happened.

They were now walking back to their rooms after dinner and Luke was happy to be walking next to Calum because it felt like the boy was warming up to him now. Luke wanted to be friends with Calum; he really did.

Ahead of them a few steps Sullivan and Taran were playfully pushing at each other like the thing in The Eden hadn't even happened and Luke felt himself smiling

"Oh by the way who's your therapist?" Sullivan said, looking at Luke as he was now walking backwards.

"Franco" Luke said and of course Sullivan freaked out

"He's a hot piece of ass isn't he?" Sullivan said with a smirk and Luke just shyly nodded "but don't even think about flirting with him and fucking up all the groundwork I’ve accomplished over the years"

Luke was gonna scoff at that but Taran did instead.

"Groundwork? What groundwork?" Taran laughed "He thinks you're nuttier than shit house rat"

"Bullshit!" Sullivan echoed down the hallway and their argument was still going on as Calum and Luke went into their own room.

Luke couldn't believe it but for once it felt like he had friends.

*

(When the lady who dispensed out pills to each room came by Luke was expecting it when he was called to the door to get his too. She had just said that they were sleeping pills but Luke ignored her just like he ignored it when she left and he saw Calum going back to his bed and spitting his pull out before putting it under his pillow. He was already skating on thin ice with Calum as it was so he kept his mouth shut)

 

 

 


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Just a heads up that I only intend for this fic to be about 50k so expect things to get pretty intense pretty quickly after this chapter and I'll be uploading CH 5 today as well cause I really like it and I almost have this fic finished anyways. Let me know what you think!

Luke felt so at peace as he was sitting against Calum's headboard as Calum was sitting indian style at the foot of the bed.

The sun was setting behind them in the window and they both were in their own little world as they had their headphones on but every now and then Calum would look up at Luke and smile or he would playfully hit his leg and Luke loved being with his roommate like this.

When Luke had first arrived he felt like Calum would never warm up to him but now Luke felt like they were becoming friends and it gave him so much hope here at Seahaven.

At this point Luke would actually feel sad when he had to leave behind his three friends and he hoped that they could get out soon after him; but that was the sad part. According to Taran Calum was a Lifer so he would never again get to experience life outside of Seahaven and that made Luke feel really bad for the boy.

Luke figured that it didn't take much to become a Lifer here because so far Calum didn't seem like that bad of a person; yet again Luke didn't really know anything about Calum or how he ended up here and he wasn't going to ask either. Luke himself had been calm and okay with telling Taran why he ended up here but Luke knew not everyone was okay with sharing personal information like that.

Luke looked up at Calum who had his eyes closed as he was slightly bobbing his head and Luke wanted to know what the boy was listening to.

Luke muted his own music and listened closely to Calum's instead. Finding out what kind of music Calum listened to was one step further in knowing the boy and you could tell a lot about a person just from the songs they listened to.

The song got slightly louder like it hit the chorus or Calum had just turned it up for a certain part and Luke could make out a familiar La Dispute song and he smiled.

Luke was closing his own eyes and listening to the muffled sounds of Calum's music when he heard a knock at the door and he could see Sullivan standing in the doorway with his hands in his pants pockets.

In this light Sullivan looked even more handsome and Luke smiled before taking his headphones off.

"Come to the art room with me" was all that Sullivan said but he didnt say it in a demanding way; he just wanted Luke to come with him.

Luke nodded and slipped off the bed without a second thought and he only stopped at the doorway when he realized his roommate hadn’t followed him.

He turned around to see Calum now scooting up the bed and laying on his stomach with his head on the pillow as his headphones were still blaring. He had obviously noticed that Luke had gotten off the bed but it was as if he wasn't acknowledging his absence.

Luke took a few steps closer to Calum and tapped his leg and Calum just moved his eyes over to look at Luke then the music was being turned down.

"Are you coming with us?" Luke asked.

"No. You two go ahead" Calum said waving Luke off and with how loud Calum's music had been before there was no way he even heard where Sullivan was going but Luke didn't press him any further; he was realizing that Calum was the type of person who did his own thing.

Luke nodded and then did a soft smile even though Calum was looking at the floor again and then he was walking backward until he was out in the hall again.

As soon as he was next to Sullivan the boy was grabbing Luke's hand and softly intertwining them before they started to walk.

"Come on" Sullivan said happily as he swung their arms but Luke was still looking down at their clasped hands.

Luke had never held hands with anyone but he was loving the simple act. Back in high school the two guys he dated never wanted to hold his hand in public so Luke never got to experience it so he was happy when Sullivan kept holding his hand as they went down the hall.

Sullivan's hand was a bit smaller than Luke's and the boy stopped swinging their arms when they rounded the corner and Luke was afraid that the boy would stop holding his hand but he didn't.

They were coming up to a room with a door that had tons of colorful pictures covering the window and soon Sullivan was tugging Luke inside.

The first thing that Luke noticed was how colorful the room was and how there was a balcony with a black railing going all the way around it. It was only when he looked closer that he saw that the balcony was actually blocked off by something that looked like fiberglass. Luke figured it was so kids couldn't throw themselves off of it, not like the fall would kill them anyways so Luke thought it was pointless.

There were only a few other kids in the huge room and an older lady off in the corner who kept looking up over her glasses every few seconds.

Sullivan was pulling Luke to a table right up against the window and he squeezed Luke's hand before letting it go; Luke missed the touch as soon as it was gone but sat down across from Sullivan.

He watched as Sullivan grabbed a piece of paper from the center then immediately started to color a flower on it. It looked like something from a 6 year olds coloring book but Luke didn't judge.

When Sullivan didn't speak for quite some time Luke realized that the boy didn't want to tell him anything specific or show him anything; he just wanted some company and Luke smiled.

Luke grabbed a paper from the center too and he started coloring a picture that was of a few farm animals. He hadn't colored in years but he forgot how soothing it was.

"Do you miss home?"

It had been so silent between them for so long that Sullivan's question startled Luke and he took a double look to see the boy looking over at him with a frown.

"No" Luke said simply because it was the truth. He went back to coloring but he could tell Sullivan was looking at him still so he knew the boy wasn't done talking.

"Why not?"

"Cause it wasn't much of a home" Luke spoke quietly and he briefly looked up to see Sullivan biting his lip as he looked away.

"I don't miss mine either" Sullivan said back and those simple words comforted Luke; made him feel less alone.

"Why did you get sent here?" Luke heard himself asking without a second thought and he was quick to apologize but then Sullivan was doing a sad chuckle and speaking again.

"Cause I'm gay"

"What?" Luke looked to the side a few times, waiting for Sullivan to correct himself.

"Well my dad beat me because I'm gay"

Luke felt a pain in his chest because he knew what abuse was like and he wouldn't wish it upon anyone.

"My mother-" Luke swallowed and looked back down at his paper "She hit me too"

"Did you cut her hands off?"

Sullivan's weird question had Luke widening his eyes and looking up at the pale boy but all Sullivan was doing was coloring the flower on his paper with a pink marker.

"Um" Luke shook his head "no"

"Well you should have" Sullivan said then he slowly started to smirk and it was a smile that would be very attractive if the boy wasn't saying such sinister things that were starting to scare Luke.

"Is that...is that what you did to your dad?" Luke asked cautiously and Sullivan just kept smiling as he colored.

Sullivan was then sitting back in his seat and crossing his arms over his chest.

"Chainsaw" Sullivan was then making a chainsaw sound "Those fuckers cut right through bone. You learn something new everyday"

Luke was shocked honestly that for one, Sullivan would do that to someone and two: that Sullivan was actually telling him that he did such act as if he was proud of himself.

But then again Luke remember what Taran had told him about Sullivan; that the boy was a pathological liar so Luke wasn't sure if he should believe Sullivan or not. Pretending that Sullivan was lying was a lot easier than believing that he was insane though.

"I realized that I didn't want to got to jail though" Sullivan continued "Cause I'm clumsy in the shower and I'm pretty so jail wouldnt be for me" and Luke found himself chuckling at that and silently agreeing to the pretty part "So I plead insanity and made up some shit about me seeing dead people or something and they sent me here"

Luke started to laugh along with Sullivan but then he realized that he really did see dead people and he swallowed hard; maybe he was the insane one and not Sullivan.

Luke hadn't seen Michael in days though, not since the shower incident, and he wanted to be relived that he wasn't seeing dead people anymore but he missed Michael; he missed him terribly. No matter how much Luke thought about him the boy never showed up and he began to get scared that he wouldnt see the black haired boy again.

"Luke"

Luke looked up and saw Sullivan raising his eyebrows.

"What?"

"I said 'can I draw you?'" Sullivan said, looking shy for some reason.

"Yeah..." Luke felt himself blushing because no one had wanted to draw him before "Yeah, sure"

And as Sullivan sat there drawing Luke tried to focus on the friends that everyone could see instead of Michael; the dead boy who Luke wasn't even sure existed and that scared him.

*

Luke and Sullivan had hung out in the art room until the old lady in pink scrubs was telling them go back to their room and the dark sky was now evident out the big window.

Luke was a bit bummed when Sullivan didn't hold his hand in the hallway like last time but Luke instead put his hands in his pockets to make sure that he didn't grab the boys hand.

"Can I keep this?" Sullivan said holding up the paper where he had drawn Luke and Luke was still so amazed by his talent "I like to hang them up on my wall"

"Yeah...yeah go ahead" Luke said but he secretly wanted it for himself; maybe for the days when it felt like no one cared about him.

Sullivan nodded before going into his own room, that was also Taran's, then Luke was doing a quick wave before going into his room.

He was stopping in the doorway when he seen the back of someone who wasn't Calum.

Calum was now standing next to the bed as he talked to the boy in front of him but neither of them had noticed Luke yet.

Luke looked down to see the one boy putting white pills in Calum's hand then Calum was doing the same thing to the other boy and Luke now realized why Calum didn't take his pills; it was because he was exchanged them for pills that he actually wanted to take.

Luke froze and backed up when the red haired stranger and Calum were looking at him with anger and Luke wanted to just run but honestly he had no where he could go.

He knew he had witnessed something that he wasn't supposed to though.

The red haired boy was whipping his head to look at Calum and Calum was patting him on the shoulder and saying something to him that Luke couldn't hear.

Whatever it was though it made the stranger turn around and Luke looked to the floor when the boy shot him a dirty look like he hated Luke just for existing.

Once the boy was gone Luke let out a breath then he was looking up to see Calum dry swallowing the pills like he couldn't wait another second to take them.

He still had two other pills in his palm though and Luke watched him close his palm before sitting on the edge of his bed and letting out a breath.

"You're going to keep your mouth shut about this" Calum spoke in a demanding but quiet tone as he eyed the ceiling and Luke was nodding fast.

"Yeah...yeah of course I will" Luke shot out quickly. He had never been a nark and was good at keeping secrets but Calum obviously didn't know that about him; Calum knew close to nothing about Luke.

"Good. Now take these to Taran"

Luke was wondering why Calum couldn't do it himself or why Calum was even trusting him with this but he nodded anyways.

"Okay. Where is he?"

"The Eden" Calum said finally looking over at Luke and Luke knew he could handle that so he stepped forward and he watched as Calum hesitated a few seconds before taking the pills in his fingers and putting them in Luke's open palm.

"Don't be suspicious" Calum said to him "Just put them in your pocket and walk down there like you would any other time"

"O-okay" Luke didn't even want to know the consequences for getting caught taking pills to someone who wasn't supposed to be taking them.

  
Calum nodded at him then Luke was turning around and leaving the room.

As he walked through the halls with the pills he felt strangely nervous and he hoped Calum didn't plan on making him be the designated drug dispenser because he had been doing quite well here recently and the last thing he needed was to get on the bad side of the people who worked here since so far they had all been so nice to him.

Luke got to the ground floor and he walked past a few workers but made sure to smile at them as he passed so he didn't look sneaky.

He felt like he could breathe again when he got down the small flights of stairs that led down the hall where The Eden was and he could see the fogged up window on the door as he got closer.

He twisted the knob and the door opened with a slight squeak like it always did.

When he got inside the comforting, warm room he stopped when he could see Taran sitting on the cushioned swing with a book on his lap and Luke thought it was strange how the boy hadn't even noticed him yet.

"Umm...Taran?"

Taran quickly looked up like he had been startled and Luke put his hands up in a silent apology and Taran was softly smiling before dog earring his book and closing it.

"Umm I have your pills" Luke spoke quietly just to be safe then Taran's smile was fading away and he was making a "come here" gesture with his fingers.

Luke stepped closer to him then he was taking the pills out to hand them over to Taran.

"Thanks, man" then Taran was tossing them back quickly just like Calum had. It was times like these that Luke was glad that he didnt have an addiction; it would be terrifying to be so dependent on something.

Taran looked visibly calmer after he took the pills and Luke watched him lean back in the swing and put a hand through his hair.

"I get migraines and they won't give me painkillers" Taran said just as Luke was getting ready to turn around because he figured Taran wanted to be alone again "I'm not addicted to them like Calum is"

"You don't owe me any explanations" Luke said honestly as he shrugged. He just didn't want Taran to think that he was judging him when he wasn't.

Taran smiled and let out a quiet huff of breath that was probably meant to be a chuckle as he looked to the side and rubbed his palm against his jaw.

"I tried helping Calum once by flushing his pills but I realized that was a big mistake"

"What did he do?"

"He threatened to kill me" Taran said as he shook his head "He's been addicted to Demerol for years; I heard that he only lasted a day here before he was finding out a way to get his hands on the pills"

"You don't think he will ever get past the addiction" Luke stated instead of making it a question because it seemed like Taran had lost faith in Calum getting clean.

"No; it'll kill him someday" Taran spoke so casually and Luke wondered why everyone here spoke about such horrible things in such casual ways; it was as if they were all numb to their emotions. Luke wondered if they had always been like that or if this place made them that way "You can't save anybody" he said under his breath before letting out a sigh through his mouth and standing up.

Luke followed Taran out without another word and he started to think about the fact that Calum was on the road to killing himself and Luke, or no one, couldn’t do anything to stop him.

*

The next day Luke met with Franco right after breakfast and this time the man was already waiting for him in the room.

Franco was sitting in his chair with the same suit on but a different red tie and he was looking up from writing on his notebook when Luke got closer.

"Good morning, Luke" he said cheerfully and Luke just shyly smiled before sitting down on the couch.

All that was on Luke's mind was Michael and he just wanted to tell someone about the boy so much but he knew Franco was the wrong person to tell. If he admitted that he was seeing a dead person then he would for sure be locked up in some room by himself or be given more drugs and Luke didn't want either of those things.

"Do you believe in an afterlife? Like heaven and hell" Luke looked up at Franco to see the man looking hard in thought as he looked at some place past Luke.

Luke could tell that Franco wasn't asked questions by his patients very often; especially loaded ones like the one Luke had asked.

"I didnt grow up in a religious home; both of my parents were atheists so I don't know if I do, Luke. It's possible though" he said then his confused face changed and Luke knew that Franco was going to resort this question back to him "Why do you ask?"

"I was just wondering if it's possible to see angels and.." Luke swallowed hard. Talking about angels was a light topic but mentioning a demon could get him in trouble and cause concern "and demons"

"I think that we deal with our own demons...in our head; is that what you're talking about?"

"No" Luke shook his head "I mean real demons. Like ones who look like real humans but they have evil eyes and say bad things"

Luke realized he had said way too much when Franco looked at him with concerned eyes then jotted down a few things.

"Are you seeing real demons, Luke?"

Luke knew he had to lie.

"No" Luke shook his head and tried to sound casual about it but Franco was following all of his movements; trying to read his actions "But I knew someone who claimed that they did"

"But you don't see them yourself?" Franco pried again and Luke had to suppress his anger. He knew it was his fault for bringing it up though.

"No. I don't" Luke said sitting back in the couch and crossing his arms.

"Okay" Franco took a deep breath and then glanced down at his paper and Luke was glad that he was going to change the subject "Have you made any friends since you've been here?"

"A few. I made friends with my roommate and his friends"

"That's good, Luke; that's very good"

"Mhm" Luke said as he started to bounce his leg up and down; he kind of already wanted to leave.

He watched as Franco looked up at his constantly moving leg then he wrote a few more things down.

"Have you had any bad thoughts since you arrived?"

"Not really" Luke shrugged, although he had thought about hurting himself just to see if Michael would show up; he knew it was stupid but he would do anything to see the boy again.

Luke suddenly looked past Franco and out the window and he could see a couple birds sitting on branch outside. It had felt like years since he had been in the fresh air and he missed it terribly.

"Luke" Franco said and Luke could tell that it wasn't the mans first attempt at trying to get his attention "Can we go back to the demon thing you were talking about before?"

Luke gritted his teeth; it was as if this therapist was purposely trying to get him to say something crazy.

"No" Luke said quickly then he was looking back outside again "Why can't we ever go outside?”

"It's just too big of an area and it would be easy to lose track of people" Franco said quickly like he didn't want to talk about it "You can only go outside if you have gardener duties"

That caught Luke's attention because he used to work at his aunts greenhouse ever summer and he loved it; not to mention that it would give him a chance to leave the building.

"How do you become a gardener?"

"Well you have to be here for at least 3 months and you can't have any warnings on your record"

"Warnings?" Luke asked because Lyla hadn't told him about any of this stuff when he first arrived.

"When you get in trouble here you get a warning and if you get three warnings then there will be bigger consequences"

"Like what?" Luke scrunched his face up because that sounded a bit scary.

"We can talk about that later. You don't have any warnings anyways so you have nothing to worry about" Luke watched as Franco shifted in his seat a bit then looked down at his notebook "Now the demons; I feel like there is more to that than you want to tell me"

"Well there isn't" Luke was bordering on snapping, he could feel it "I was just asking a simple question"

"If you are seeing things you need to let me know, Luke"

"I'm not seeing fucking anything!" there it was. Luke immediately felt stupid for his outbreak right after and he slumped down in his seat. He just hated having people pry at him for information.

Luke looked down at his lap but he could tell that Franco was still looking at him.

"Okay, I think that's enough for now, Luke"

Luke was standing up before Franco even finished talking and he was slamming the door shut before he was getting out into the hallway and leaning up against the wall as he tried to calm his breathing down.

He hated himself for getting so worked up about that and he knew he couldn't lash out on Franco like that again because it would just cause the man to have more concern for Luke and that was the last thing he needed.

He needed to just lay low and follow the rules while he was here so he wouldn't draw attention to himself and he knew he would be fine.

Luke knew that seeing a demon was really beginning to mess with him, especially since he couldn't talk to anyone about it, but he hadn't seen Michael and days and not seeing the demon was messing with him too.

Luke sank down to the floor and he didn't know how long he just sat outside Franco's room just wishing that he was a normal kid.

 


	5. Chapter 5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Mentions of self harm in this chapter

Luke didn't walk down hallways by himself very often but this morning while he was heading to Franco's office he was.

Last night he had again woken up to the sound of Calum leaving at exactly 3am, just like he had all the other nights, and he was really starting to wonder where the boy always ran off to.

It must be somewhere where he isn't allowed to go because otherwise he would just go there in the day; unless he just liked going to that certain spot at night.

Luke knew it wasn't his business and that Calum was very touchy with certain things but he knew that soon he would ask his roommate where he always went and Luke hoped that Calum would trust him enough to tell him. Luke started to wonder if Taran or Sullivan knew where he always went.

All the doors in the hall where Franco's office was were always closed so Luke was a bit confused when one of them was wide open.

Luke looked both ways to make sure he was alone before he was stopping at the open door and seeing that it was an office. Luke was just about to carry on walking to Franco's room but then something shiny caught his eye on the desk that was closest to the door.

He had been fine when he first got here but these past couple days without Michael were beginning to weigh down on him and he could feeling himself getting bad again. It would only take one bad thing to make him snap and Luke wanted to have a way to release his bad thoughts when that time came.

Last night after his bad session with Franco Luke had scratched at his skin until it bled and he wished so badly that he had something sharper than his dull nails.

Now said sharp object was only a few feet away from him and Luke could have it.

Luke bit his lip and made sure he was still alone in the hallways before he was fast walking into the empty office and pocketing the sharp envelope opener. It wasn't sharp like his razors at home but when he hadn't cut in so long it looked like the best thing ever and Luke felt a kind of relief that he hadn't felt in weeks in his chest as he walked back into the hall with the sharp object in his pants pocket.

Knowing that he had this in his possession made going to therapy so much easier because he knew he had way of release if this session went as bad as the last one had; or worse.

Luke walked into the bright room and let the door swing shut behind him as he immediately smelled the pine air freshener that was puffing out steam on one of the desks.

Instead of sitting there waiting for Luke like Franco always was the man was standing by the window and looking out it like he wasn't expecting Luke and Luke glanced at the clock to make sure he had the right time; which he did.

Luke cleared his throat and he felt a bit bad when he actually really startled the man then Franco was doing a small smile before walking to be closer to Luke.

"There's a slight change of plans today, Luke" Franco spoke like it was painful and Luke started to feel nervous, as he just ran his fingers against the sharp object in pants.

"What do you mean?"

"I don't think it's necessary but Mrs. Crabtree, the woman who is in charge of this whole place, thinks that it's what you need "

Luke took a few steps back, beginning to get really scared of where this was going. Was this all about yesterdays session?

"Instead of me talking to you today you will be talking to Father Collins"

And Luke let out a breath at that. It wasn't as bad as he thought it would be but he was still wondering why he had to talk to a priest.

"Mrs. Crabtree is very catholic herself but if it were up to me you wouldn't have to be doing this. She read my notes yesterday so it caused her to have concerns about you"

"I'm fine though" Luke said quickly.

"I know you are" Franco said sternly "And I just want you to know that" he was speaking more quietly this time and Luke realized he didn't want the camera to pick up what he was saying "If you ever want to talk to me about things that you don't want anyone else to know about just let me know, okay? and I won't write it down"

Luke nodded but then he was looking up at the camera.

"But what about the camera?"

"I have my ways" Franco said with a chuckle and Luke kind of hated himself for blushing whenever the man would smile "Besides, Mrs. Crabtree doesn't review the tapes unless something drastic happens to the patient"

"O-Okay" Luke said and then Franco was gesturing for him to take a seat on the couch like he always did.

Luke didn't have time to relax for very long before there was a knock at the door.

"He won't be talking to you for very long; I made sure of that" Franco said and Luke smiled "I'll see you tomorrow, Luke" Franco said and he gave Luke's shoulder a quick squeeze before he was slipping past him and opening the door.

"Hello Father" Luke heard Franco's extra proper voice behind him "He's waiting for you"

Luke tensed up when he heard the door shut then he could hear footsteps behind him. Luke had never even been to church in his life so he didn't really know what to expect but he knew that most priests were very strict and that always made him nervous because he usually said the wrong things in bad situations.

"Hello, Lucas" the father said and he was wearing a dark red robe that touched the floor and he was completely bald. Luke guessed that he was about 70 years old with how wrinkly he was. Luke could stay in a hot bath for 10 years and he still wouldn't be that wrinkly.

"Hello" Luke mumbled and he could just feel the old man judging him.

"Have you met with a priest before?"

"No" Luke said honestly "I've never even been to church"

The father raised his eyebrows at him and actually seemed upset and it caused Luke to look to the floor.

"Well that explains why you have such evil thoughts, my boy" he spoke a bit more casually but Luke knew a lecture was right on the tip of his tongue. The father crossed his legs and set his hand down on his lap and Luke wanted to sigh "You see, the devil is always tempting us to do awful things and to think awful things but it is up to you to be strong enough to ignore him"

Luke just nodded, hoping that this would go by faster if he just agreed with everything this old bastard was saying even though Luke thought it all sounded ridiculous.

"Especially boys your age, you can be swayed very easily to follow the devils ways instead of god's way"

"Is that so?" Luke said as he raised his eyebrows, just to be a smartass and he almost laughed when the priest took a double look at him the narrowed his eyes.

"Yes...that is so" he said, clearly already getting aggravated and Luke could already tell that this man had a hot temper but it didn't stop him from giving attitude if he needed to "So if you don't want to end up in hell I advise you to follow the lord and not give into the devil temptations. Is that clear Mr. Hemmings?"

"Crystal" Luke forced a fake closed mouth smile and the Father glared at him for a few more seconds before looking back down to his lap and pulling out a small black book that Luke guessed had prayers in it or something.

He began flipping through it then he was standing up and Luke really hoped that the old man was leaving.

He missed Franco terribly despite how he treated him last time he met with him. At least Franco wasn't an asshole who thought that only his opinion mattered.

Luke almost groaned though when he realized that the Father wasnt leaving and instead he was just pacing a bit back and fourth behind the chair.

"Now I am going to read you a scripture that is going to help you move away from this evil that has found sanctuary in your body" the man spoke in such a dramatic tone and Luke rolled his eyes and let out a loud sigh which earned another glare from the man "You will listen to what I have to say Mr. Hemmings because I was sent here to help you" and once again Luke was getting very aggravated "Once you accept Jesus into your life you will be the happiest you have ever been and-"

Luke jumped and looked up when the old man coughed loudly a few times and Luke actually thought he was going to die.

The man bent over a little then the coughing stopped and Luke relaxed back in the seat again and some sick voice in his head wished that the man did die right here so he wouldn't have to listen to this scripture that was probably like 4 pages long.

"Is it hot in here?"

The fathers changed tone had Luke looking up to see the man loosening his collar and then fanning his face.

The AC was actually up so high in this room that Luke would get goosebumps every now and then so what the Father had said had confused him.

"It is very hot in here actually" he spoke again and Luke narrowed his eyes at the man as he actually started to unbutton the shirt that he he had under his thick robe and Luke realized that that was why the man was so hot. That robe looked like it weighed a ton.

Luke did start to get anxious though because he just wanted the man to get on with it already so that he could leave and Luke could go on with his day; not like he had anything particular to do but anything was better than being around this fossil and hearing him complain about the heat.

Luke started to actually get uncomfortable when the man took off his robe completely then he was starting to unbutton the shirt underneath of it to and as far as Luke could tell there was nothing underneath that.

"Ummm what are you doing?" Luke said cautiously as he eyed the man but the man just let out a loud laugh.

"I'm taking my clothes off" he said like it was obvious, which it was but Luke wanted to know why a priest was getting naked right here in front of him "That ugly ass robe had me sweating my balls off"

"Sorry, what?" Luke nearly yelled because had the priest just...cursed? "Did you just swear?"

"Arent you hot in here? Why don't we just all take our clothes off?" he yelled and it made Luke jumped and scoot over in the couch. He really wanted to leave because he had no idea what was going on "I mean why is being naked so frowned upon?"

Once he had his shirt all the way off and his torso was completely naked Luke made a grossed out face and looked away. He never thought that a priest would take his shirt off right in front of him and Luke knew this would scar him for the rest of his life.

"There that's better" the man breathed out and Luke could see him sitting back in the chair across from him.

"Umm...weren't you going to read me a scripture or something?" Luke usually wouldn't remind him but he hoped that the Father would go back to normal. He also wished that he would put his shirt back on because his wrinkles were grossing Luke out tremendously but he knew that wasn't going to happen.

"What, this?" he asked holding up the book again "No. It’s all bullshit. Jesus did a lot of stupid shit if you really think about it"

Luke was widening his eyes but this time he was speechless.

"For example, when he turned water into wine like what the shit was that? Why didn't he turn it into something that actually gets you drunk like tequila?"

"Um I don't know" Luke said slowly.

"It's because he's a dumbass; that's why" the father was shifting in his seat then he was standing up again as he messed with his pants and Luke got scared "These pants are suffocating my junk holy shit how do people live like this?" he said as he started to unbuckle his pants.

"Please don't" Luke pleaded and then he was covering his eyes as the man started to pull down his pants to.

Luke swears he was just about to get up but then there was a knock at the door and Luke relaxed, hopefully it was Franco coming to save him from this fucking pedophile or whoever he was.

"Who the fuck is it?" he yelled and this time Luke had to laugh. He couldn't wait to see the look on Franco's face when he seen this half naked priest. There was no way that Luke would ever have to speak with a priest ever again after this incident.

"Sister Teresa has arrived!" Luke widened his eyes again then he was quickly turning around to see a small old lady that was clearly a nun and her eyes were the signs of saucers but Luke didn't blame her.

"Father, are you alright?" her voice was so small and innocent and Luke actually felt bad for her.

"Tell me, what's a guy gotta do around here to get a good fuck? I mean seriously this celibacy thing is bullshit!" he yelled and Luke looked back to see her gasping and the repeatedly making the sign of the cross and Luke became more worried than he was before.

She then started mumbling out random prayers and the Father was letting out a loud laugh as he slowly started walking towards her. The closer he got to her the louder she began to speak the prayer and Luke was gripping the couch as this was all unfolding before his eyes.

"The Hail Mary? Really?" he let out an almost sinister sounding chuckle and Luke got chills "You've gotta do better than that bitch"

And that was what made the nun scream loudly in fear before she was backing up into the wall then quickly running out of the room and Luke could still hear her screaming as she ran down the hall. The man was walking out into the hall himself with a smirk still on his face.

All of a sudden the priest was having a coughing fit just like he had been before but this time he started to convulse until he was falling to the floor and Luke felt frozen as it seemed the man was having a seizer; Luke didn't know though since he had never seen anyone have a seizer.

The man started to shake more violently until there was a thick amount of black emerging from his mouth and Luke started to shake himself from being so scared.

Luke closed his eyes, just waiting for it to all be over but then the old man was making louder choking sounds before everything was being cut off completely but Luke still kept his eyes shut.

"Hey, you" said a teasing voice behind him and Luke quickly opened his eyes "Did you miss me?"

Luke opened his mouth a few times but nothing came out and it had the other boy chuckling at him then slowly walking closer.

Michael was then looking to the corner of the room and narrowing his eyes a bit and Luke looked to where Michael was looking to see sparks coming off of the not so hidden camera.

"We wouldn't want them to see you talking to yourself" he said easily but then Luke was focusing back on the old man who was still laying in the hallway as if he was dead.

"You-" Luke put a hand over his face and took a few deep breaths "Was that you? You were saying all of that stuff?"

"It was my best performance if I do say so myself" he smiled again and it was a smile that Luke missed so much. He felt that familiar warm feeling in his chest when Michael was coming around the couch to stand right in front of him.

"You...you possessed him? A priest? I didn't even know you could do that"

"I can possess anyone I want to but I refuse to possess Donald Trump; that bastard already does a good job of making a fool out of himself without my help"

It was that line that erupted laughter in Luke that he had been holding in out of being so freaked out from what the priest was saying.

"Oh my god" Luke wiped at his eyes then looked up to see Michael laughing to "Is he dead?"

"No he's just unconscious" Michael shrugged " I mean unless you want me to kill him...I'm at your service"

"No!" Luke was quick to say because he didn't want anyone to be murdered "I mean that's okay"

Michael just nodded before he was looking past Luke and narrowing his eyes a bit like he did before and Luke jumped when he heard the door slamming shut and the sound of it being locked.

Luke looked up to see Michael walking closer to him so that they were touching then Luke swore he stopped breathing when Michael rested his hands on the back of the couch so that he was hovering right above Luke.

  
Michael was just starting down at Luke as he licked at the side of his own lip and Luke felt pathetic for feeling himself already getting hard. He was just so weak for Michael and he had a feeling it would get him in trouble someday.

Luke sucked in a breath when Michael was rubbing the backs of his fingers softly against his cheek and Luke knew it was the softest that Michael had ever touched him.

The soft touch was gone in an instant though when Michael was making a quick movement to grip Luke's jaw then he moved his head to the other side of Luke's face as he started to nip at the skin right below Luke's jaw.

"I can't believe that he came in here and tried to corrupt what's mine" Michael practically growled and Luke felt his breath stutter. Michael just always spoke in a tone that left him breathless.

Michael began sucking kisses into Luke's neck as he ran his hand up and down the blond's chest and Luke felt himself getting brave as he reached his hand out and put it on Michael's thigh. Michael seemed startled at the touch at first but he didn't push Luke away either so Luke slowly started to rub his hand and down.

He was finally able to really touch Michael and Luke couldn't get enough of it. He also realized that Michael had never once kissed him on the lips and that was something that Luke just really wanted...right now but he didn't want to take things too far and upset Michael because it was obvious that Michael was a bit guarded when it came to Luke taking control; or at least that's what Luke thought it was.

When Luke put his hand further up Michael's thigh, as the demon continued to slowly kiss at his neck, this time he didn’t stop his hand from traveling up even further and soon he was rubbing his hand over Michael's hard dick.

He heard Michael let out a quick breath as he stopped the movement of his lips and Luke got scared that Michael was going to disappear again but instead the black haired boy put his hand over Luke's hand that was on his crotch and started moving it for him until Luke got the hint that it was okay to touch the other boy.

Luke moaned out after Michael removed his hand and then moved Luke's shirt over a bit to reveal his chest before he began kissing harshly at the skin there and Luke sped up his hand as he palmed at Michael's dick; he loved finally being able to pleasure the boy back.

"I've really missed you” Luke ended that with a moan when Michael pinched at his nipple through his shirt and started circling the bud around between his two fingers.

Michael just moaned in response with his eyes closed as he started slowly kissing his way back up to Luke's neck again.

"Can you stay with me tonight?" Luke asked because the idea of Michael sleeping next to him sounded like the greatest thing ever.

The words had Michael quickly stopping though and looking up at Luke with raised eyebrows.

"Stay with you?" he now just looked straight up confused.

"Yeah...like ummm...stay the night with me" Luke knew it was a dumb thing to ask a demon as soon as it came out of his mouth.

"No" Michael shook his head and spoke sternly "I can't"

"Why not?" Luke whispered as he had his puppy dogs eyes on.

"Because I can't" Michael seemed even more serious this time and he tensed his jaw. It should have scared Luke but he found it more sexy than anything.

"Michael-"

Both of the boys jumped sky high when they heard a woman yelling Luke's name down the hall in a scared manor like she was worried for Luke's well being and Luke guessed that the nun had went to go get help after seeing the Father in such a state.

Michael looked at the door with such an evil stare but it quickly went away when he stood up straight and looked down at Luke.

"I have to go" Michael said shifting his eyes around the room but Luke was quick to stand up and he just went for it; he grabbed Michael's face and pressed their lips together. He didn't know when he would get to see Michael again and he was going to take advantage of it.

Michael didn't kiss him back at first and it seemed like he was fighting it but then the demon let out a growl that had Luke feeling it in his chest and suddenly Michael was grabbing Luke by the hips and sucking his lower lip into his mouth in a fast motion and Luke felt like his heart was going to explode; kissing Michael was the most amazing thing he's ever experienced.

It was all gone in an instant though when the door was being opened and slammed into the wall and again Michael had disappeared.

"Luke! Luke are you okay?" came a woman's voice and Luke turned around to see a short lady with short black hair and an all black skirt and dress shirt.

"Yeah" Luke said but it wasn't the truth. He could already feel the sadness of missing Michael weighing down on him and he felt like he would die if he didn't get to kiss him again soon.

"Come with me" she said moving her hand "I can promise you that nothing like this will ever happen again"

But honestly Luke was okay with talking to another priest as long as the endgame was getting to see Michael again.

  
*

  
Now Luke was sitting in an office where the lady, known as Mrs. Crabtree, had taken him and he knew he was about to get bombarded with a bunch of questions about the possessed priest.

"I can assure you that nothing like this has happened before" she began as he crossed her hands and set them on the desk. It was obvious that she was the boss here "Sister Josephine tried to tell me what happened in her terrified state but could you tell me exactly what happened in there, Luke?"

"He just..." Luke let out a breath "He started complaining about the temperature in the room then he began taking his clothes off and it made me very uncomfortable” Luke held back a smirk before speaking again “He's clearly a lunatic"

"Yes and I'm very sorry that you had to go through that, Luke" she said sounding sincere "How are you feeling now?"

"Still a bit shaken up honestly" Luke lied as he tried to look as scared as possible. That priest had treated him like shit and Luke was making him pay for it.

"Well if Father Collins wakes up I promise you that he will never set foot in this institution again"

And that had Luke taking a double look up at her because Michael had just said that the priest was unconscious.

"What do you mean 'if he wakes up'?"

"He had a stroke and is in a coma. He's being taken to the hospital as we speak"

"A stroke" Luke said slowly as he looked down at his lap. He began to feel a bit bad now that the man might lose his life over all of this. Sure, he was a jerk but it didn't mean that he deserved to die.

"Dinner is starting soon, Luke but let me know if you need anyone to talk to about this, okay?"

Luke quickly nodded and stood up because he honestly couldn't wait to get out of this room.

*

  
As soon as Luke was walking into the view of their regular table at dinner all the boys were looking up at Luke and Luke let out a breath, knowing what was coming.

"Shit, Luke we heard what happened" Taran said before Luke even sat down and Luke just nodded. He couldn't even tell his friends what happened so he knew he would have to pretend like none of it got to him and that he was fine.

"Yeah for real we heard that some pedophile priest tried pulling moves on you" Sullivan blurted out and Luke rolled his eyes at that as he sat down and started to take bites of his fruit cocktail.

"It really wasn't like that" Luke said dully.

"Then what was it like?" Sullivan pried and Luke looked up to see Calum just minding his own business as he poked at the food on his tray; for once Luke was so grateful for Calum's silence.

"He was just a lunatic" Luke waved it off and he hoped they would all just drop it. The more he thought about it the more he thought about kissing Michael and the more he just wanted to be kissing the boy again and again.

"Are you okay though?" Taran said looking over at Luke and actually sounding concerned and Luke just smiled and nodded.

"Yeah I'm good. It was actually kind of funny" Luke admitted as he let out a chuckle.

"Well I'm just glad that he didn't murder you and wear your skin as a coat or something" Sullivan said before he began taking big bites out of his chicken and Luke just lightly glared at him as Taran let out a chuckle and Calum did a slight smile as he still focused on his tray.

Luke felt like there was something really bothering Calum today and for once Luke felt like he wanted to ask Calum and see if he wanted to talk about it, Luke knew it would get his mind off of his own problems if not nothing else.

He knew he couldn't do it here though.

Instead he just looked over at Calum until the boy was looking up at him then Luke was giving him a comforting smile and he felt like he accomplished something when Calum gave him one back.


	6. Chapter 6

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> TW: Scary situation (maybe? Idk I'm just warning you guys just in case) and minor blood

Luke made it only one more night of seeing Calum leave the room at exactly 3am before his curiosity was getting the best of him and he could no longer just lay there and wonder where his roommate was going.

He was turned away from Calum as he watched the clock on his night stand hit 3am then he watched as Calum's shadow appeared on the wall and he heard feet hit the floor. Luke slightly moved the blanket up on his face a bit and looked in the side of his vision as he could see Calum rustling around in his suitcase and then making his way to the door.

The room was filled with light as the door opened and Luke waited until he saw Calum walk out the door before he was getting out of his bed and pulling on his shoes quickly.

He wanted to make sure that he kept a safe distance behind Calum but he didn't want to be so far behind him that he lost track of the boy. This place was a maze and sometimes Luke still found it easy to get lost.

Luke got to the door and opened it, so happy that this door didn't creak like the one in The Eden did and he poked his head out into the hallway to see Calum just getting to the stairs then he could hear his footsteps as he started to go down them.

Luke looked down the hallway to see if anyone else was around and when he saw that he was in the clear he stepped out and carefully closed the door behind him before he was fast walking down the hall.

The place seemed so much more erie at night when no one else was around but Luke was also terrified of being caught at any second. He did remember that Calum never got caught though so he figured he would be safe.

As he got to the marble stairs he quickly hid behind the wall when he saw that Calum was just now getting to the bottom of them and then he was going right in between the stairs towards where the cafeteria.

Once Calum's foot steps began to get farther away Luke hurried to get down the stairs and then he was going in the direction that Calum was.

  
Whe got down there he listened closely then he looked straight to see Calum going around a corner again and Luke fast walked, walking on his tippy toes to keep the sounds of his shoes at bay.

Luke didn't even know if he would go where Calum was going; he just knew that he needed to see where the boy went every night then he would probably just leave.

Luke was right in the same hall that Calum was now and if the boy even looked back Luke would be caught but Luke honestly knew he would get caught soon anyways but he didn't care.

Up ahead of him Calum stopped at a pair of glass doors that Luke had never seen before and Luke stopped too as he could see Calum reaching into his pocket and bringing something skinny and silver out of his pocket.

It seemed like Calum was picking the lock and Luke saw a slight corner, not too far away from the doors, and he hurried to get inside of it so he had a better chance of catching the door before it closed.

Only a few more seconds passed before Calum was getting the door opened and luckily he swung it open fast so it was left open longer.

Luke rushed to reach out and catch it and luckily he did right before it was supposed to latch.

He let out a quiet breath and looked up to see that Calum was still totally unaware as he walked down this new hallway.

Luke carefully shut the door then started to look around and he could see a wide window that stretched across almost the whole wall. Inside of it looked like doctor beds and Luke swallowed hard when he could see straps tied to a few of the beds. He had no idea where he was but he kind of didnt want to be here anymore.

He snapped out of his own fear though when up ahead he saw Calum take a sharp turn to the left and Luke rushed to catch up to him again.

When he got to where Calum had turned he saw a couple steps going down, similar to how The Eden was set up, and he went down them before turning and just as he did he saw a door at the end of the small hall and the door was just starting to close behind Calum.

Luke only got a glimpse but it was all he needed; Calum was going down stairs and Luke had no idea that there was another floor in this building. Luke watched as the door shut quietly and Luke figured he lost his chance to go down there if Calum picked this lock like he had the other.

Luke honestly didn't want to go down the dark stairwell anyways because ever since he was young basements scared the bejesus out of him and he figured that a basement in a mental institution would be a million times more creepy.

Luke took a few deep breaths and couldn't believe when he was taking a few steps towards the door. He began to think a bit more rationally and realized that since he had come this far without getting caught by Calum that he might as well check to see if the door is unlocked.

When Luke put his hand on the cold silver handle and opened it with ease a part of him was actually upset that it opened because he knew he would be going down there because now his curiosity was out weighing his fear of basements.

The stairwell was pitch black just as he thought it was and as he looked down he could see that the stairs themselves were made out of old wood. The rest of the stairs in the building were made out of expensive white marble and Luke started to get scared again of what could be down here.

At he very end of the stairs though was a dim yellow light and Luke figured that there must be lights on down there. He knew that if it was pitch black down there then he would just come right back upstairs.

Luke closed his eyes and took a deep breath before putting his foot down onto the first step and he was startled when it creaked a bit.

He took a few more steps and he swallowed hard when the door shut behind him because now he felt even more alone than before. He knew that Calum was down there somewhere but Luke couldn't see him so he felt totally alone.

The farther Luke got down the stairs the more he started to think that this was the kind of shit that would happen in horror movies and when the person got down to the basement there would be some murderer down there waiting for them.

Luke always thought of scary things like that when he was in situations like this and he knew he had to think of happy things instead.

He started to think about Michael instead and just tried to remember what it felt like to finally kiss him on the lips. That didn't really end up making Luke feel better and it made him feel sad instead because he had no idea when he would even get to see Michael again.

As he stepped off the stairs the air was cold and all he could smell was dirt and something else that was about making him sick.

He looked down to see that the floor under him really wasn't a floor at all and that he was actually standing on dirt. He began to wonder why this basement hadn't been updated to match the rest of the building but then it occurred to him that they probably didn't even use it anymore.

Luckily there were more dim yellow lights and in front of him was such a long hallway that he couldn't even tell where it ended.

When he looked to the right of him there were...jail cells. Luke widened his eyes and looked further in front of him to see that there were cells with rusty bars going all the way down the hallway. Luke started to back up and he already wanted to leave. He didn't know why Calum was down here but he wasn't sure if he even wanted to know.

Luke all of a sudden heard a laugh that sounded freakishly like Calum's and that was the only thing that made him start walking forward; every other voice in his head was telling him to turn around, leave and never come back.

This place reeked of rotten something, Luke couldn't think of what, and he was close to actually getting sick to his stomach.

It was silent for a few more seconds but then another sound was coming from up head of him but this time Luke couldn't place what it was.

It was a slurping type of sound, like someone was repeatedly moving their mouth and the louder it got the more Luke got freaked out.

He heard a few grunts and then more of the slurping sound as he looked in each of the cells as he passed them.

Soon the sound was right in front of him and Luke felt his heart jump up into his throat as he stood frozen in front of one of the cells.

There wasn't much light in the cell but it was enough light to tell that there was an actual person facing one of the corners of the cell as they were squatted down in a similar white outfit that everyone else wore; except this persons outfit was filthy with dirt and had rips all over it like they had been mauled by a bear.

Luke wanted to move, wanted to run towards the stairs then never come back but he was so scared to move or cause any kind of sound that would make the person turn around.

They seemed to be holding something up to their mouth as the slurping noises and grunts continued and then Luke was accidentally moving his foot on the dirt and the person in the cell ceased all of its movements in a second.

Luke swore he stopped breathing and within an instant the person was whipping their head around and staring Luke straight in the eye but his pupils seemed to take up his entire eye.

There was a large amount of blood coming out of his mouth and Luke looked down in shock to see the biggest rat he had ever seen in the persons grip.

It seemed like only a single second went by before the boy within the cell was running towards the hallway and slamming himself up against the cell door.

Luke knew he was safe on the other side of the cell but he screamed bloody murder as the trapped boy was trying it's hardest to get to him on the other side as he shook the cell and made groaning noises.

Luke fell to his knees then quickly realized that he just needed to get out of here and never return so he began to crawl on his hands and knees towards the stairs again but he didn't get far.

"Luke!" Luke turned around at the familiar voice and he had never been so happy to hear a voice in his entire life.

Calum was jogging towards him from the end of the hall and Luke was quick to stand up and run to meet him in the middle then Calum was grabbing him by the arm and pulling him away from the boy who was still screaming in his cell and trying so hard to get out.

Once they got around a corner there were windows near the ceiling then doors on the other side instead of cells.

"What the fuck...." Calum took a few deep breaths and Luke wondered how far away Calum had run from to get to him "What are you doing down here?" he demanded and Luke honestly didn't even care that he was getting yelled at; he was just so happy that he was away from that rat eating lunatic that tried to attack him while still behind bars.

"I just-" Luke took a few breaths of his own, still very shaken up after what he had just seen "I wanted to see where you always went but I know I shouldn't have come down here; I know that now" Luke admitted because boy, did he regret coming down here. He should have just stayed up in his room and he already missed it up there.

"Yeah no shit" Calum barked back then he was looking both ways and putting his hands on his hips as he still tried to catch his breath.

"So what...do you do down here?" Luke couldn't help but ask because he had come this far and he had almost had an actual heart attack back there.   
  
Calum looked back at him and sent him a glare for a few seconds before he seemed to be letting his guard down then he was shaking his head and grabbing Luke's arm again.

"Come with me" he mumbled and started pulling Luke down the new hall.

"There's no one else like that down here...right?" Luke said nervously because he knew he wouldn't be able to handle seeing something like that again.

"No" was all Calum said but it was enough to calm Luke a bit.

Soon they were getting to an opening again and Luke swallowed hard when there were more cells down here.

"They used to keep all the patients down here before they added the other levels above. As you can see it hasn't been updated" Calum started to talk casually and Luke relaxed a bit. He was so happy to be with a normal person again.

"What, did they just forget that that rat eating guy was down here?" Luke asked and he saw Calum shaking his head, which worried him.

"No, they didn't forget. They put him down here" Calum said with no other explanation but Luke was almost glad for it. He knew that keeping people down here couldn't be legal but he figured that not many patients here even knew that they kept someone down here.

Luke pulled back, getting ready to run away, when he looked ahead and saw another person sitting in a cell, but less dirtier than the rat eating guy.

"It's okay" Calum said facing Luke "He won't try to hurt you"

Luke was still skeptical though so he only took small steps as he watched Calum walk up to the cell and sit down in front of it on the dirt floor.

This boy didnt look angry like the other cell person he had seen but instead he just looked bored and sad as he traced shapes in the dirt. Luke still jumped though when the boy looked up at him.

Luke was greatly surprised when the boy smiled at him.

"Were you the one screaming?" he let out a chuckle and Luke just nodded and looked over to see Calum chuckling too.

"Yeah this is Luke" Calum said to the boy "Timmy gave him quite the scare. It probably didn't help that he had rat blood all over him"

"Yummy" the kid behind the cell laughed again and Luke was so lost on what was going on.

Calum was then looking over at him and Luke took a few step forward to be closer to him.

"Luke" he said then he looked to the other boy "This is Carver"

Carver. At first the name seemed foreign to him but then he thought back to the very first conversation that he had with Taran his first day here.

Carver was Calum's old roommate and Luke's eyes widened.

"Your old roommate?" Luke asked in a whisper, just to make sure.

"Yeah" Calum nodded.

Luke looked into the cell to see Carver rubbing at the back of his hair as he was looking at the dirt again.

"But he- but Taran said he was transferred to another institution" Luke shot out because none of this was making sense to him.

"Yeah that was what they told everyone" Calum said with anger clear in his voice but Luke knew it wasn't directed at him; it was directed at the people who put Carver down here "Would you have believed Taran if he would have told you that Carver was locked down in the basement?"

And Luke thought about it. Up stairs the building was so rich looking and everyone up there was so nice so no...he probably wouldn't have believed Taran.

"No...probably not" Luke mumbled honestly.

"Exactly" Calum said back sternly "And it was none of your god damn business anyways. I cant even believe that you followed me down here"

"Calum" Carver said in a warning tone and Luke offered a small smile to the boy who was trying to get Calum not to freak out anymore.

"What? It's true" Calum said to Carver "He needs to learn how to keep his nose out of things that he won't even understand anyways"

"I'm sorry" Luke said quickly because he really was; and not just because he almost got attacked by some crazy rodent eater.

"You should get him out of here, Cal" Carver said in a soft voice and Luke really did want to leave. He hated being down here.

"He's fine" Calum waved him off "I just want to see you"

Luke could see how much Carver meant to Calum and Luke felt so bad for getting in the way of their time together.

"You'll see me tomorrow" Carver said and Luke watched as Carver reached through the bars and patted Calum's knee "Seriously he looks really shaken up"

Luke looked back to see Calum letting out a breath then he was reaching into his pocket and bringing out out a few bags of chips that he must of gotten just for Carver.

Carver smiled when Calum put the bags through the bars and Carver was instantly opening one of them. He looked very skinny and he figured that they didn't get fed very often down here.

Luke felt sick to his stomach again but this time it wasn't because of the smell. He couldn't imagine having to be locked up down here and he felt so bad for Carver as he watched the boy begin to practically inhale the bag of Lays chips.

Calum got up without another word and started to walk straight and Luke was quick to follow him, glancing back at Carver once before they turned a corner.

"We're going to go a different way so that you don't have to see Timmy again" Calum mumbled and Luke could tell how pissed the boy was at him.

"Thank you" Luke breathed out because he knew he didn't want to see that crazy boy again.

All that was heard was their footsteps and the random drips of water from the ceiling and they passed more cells but luckily these ones were all empty.

In no time at all they were circling back around and going through a small crack between the stairs and the wall where Luke had originally came down here at.

Calum thankfully climbed the stairs quickly and Luke was so happy that he was finally almost out of this basement because it had probably been the most terrifying thing he had ever gone through.

The rat eating boy looked like those infected people straight out of the movie Quarantine and Luke had a feeling that he would have nightmares about him for weeks.

Soon there was bright light flooding the staircase as Calum opened the door and as soon as Luke stepped onto the white tiled floor and the basement door was being shut behind them he let out a long breath and leaned against the wall. It felt so good to be safe again and it was a bit overwhelming.

"You okay?" Luke looked up to see Calum stopped and looking at him with concerned eyes and Luke closed his eyes and nodded before walking to catch up with Calum.

They got into the main hallway again and Luke was taking deep breaths and he couldn't believe how much he missed the smell of cleaned floors and some kind of flower air freshener.

Everything about up here was calming him and he was so happy to finally be in this normal setting again.

"I'm sure you're wondering why I havent tried to get Carver out of there" Calum spoke and Luke was surprised.

Luke just nodded and waited for Calum to continue.

"It's cause Carver doesn't want to be saved. He's terrified of the real world and he would rather stay down there. I have no clue how he could possibly enjoy being down there but he does so I just stopped asking him"

Luke was in shock at that because he couldn't even handle being down in the basement for more than a few minutes, let alone for the rest of his life.

"How do you go down there every night without getting caught?" Luke changed the subject, not really wanting to think about the basement anymore.

"The cameras" Calum said pointing up to one of them in the hall "All of the cameras in the building shut off at 3am and don't turn back on until 6am"

Luke wondered how Calum knew that and he also wondered how he even found out that Carver was being kept down in the basement but he decided to stay quiet.

They were getting to the same glass door as before and walking thorough it then from where they were Luke could see the cafeteria and the kitchen area of it had a few lights on.

He knew they were going to be up to their room very soon and after the night he just had Luke was tired but he knew he wouldn't be able to go to sleep for hours, wondering what other secrets laid between the walls of this building.

*

The next day at breakfast Luke could still tell that Calum was a little pissed at him but he was just happy that the boy wasn't ignoring him.

During his session with Franco the man had just kept asking him if he was okay after the incident with the priest but Luke was actually able to laugh about it now; especially after the basement incident. That had about scarred him for life and he felt like he could take on anything. Another part of him though had a bad feeling that even worse things would happen to him while he was here and it was all starting to become clear that this institution wasn't as pretty and perfect as it seemed to be.

As he sat in front of Franco he wondered if the young man even knew that this place kept kids locked up and starving in the basement and Luke swore he almost told the man about it so maybe Carver and the rat boy could be saved but then he remembered what Calum had said and he kept his mouth shut. Carver didn't want to be saved and the crazy rat kid was probably too messed up in the brain to even appreciate being taken out of that environment.

Thinking about everything that happened last night might have been what made Luke start to get sad that night when he was lying in the room all by himself after Calum had left to go see Carver without a word, even though he had seen Luke lying awake.

It was as if one sad thought set off another then another and then Luke was laying on his side as tears hit his pillow.

He clenched his eyes shut to try and stop more tears because once he started crying he was usually unable to stop. He knew if Calum was here then the boy might try to comfort him but Luke was alone. He knew he could easily go next door and climb in with Sullivan and the boy would cheer him up but he knew he would just end up feeling like a burden.

He sniffled and pressed his face further into the pillow as he started to think about his old best friend Troy, before he had come here Troy had been the only friend he's ever had and after he died Luke had felt like he wasn't ever going to make friends again.

Luke began to wonder if Sullivan, Calum and Taran even considered him friend like he did with them; Luke guessed they probably didn't.

He swears he was just imagining it when he started to feel a hand carding through his hair softly but then he felt the bed dip next to him and Luke was quickly opening his eyes.

It took his eyes a few seconds to adjust to the dark again but when they did he still couldn't believe what he was seeing.

"M-Michael?" Luke's voice croaked as his lower lip still trembled a bit from crying and Michael was just sitting at the edge of his bed as he started to run his hand down the side of the Luke's face.

Luke couldn't believe how gentle Michael was being with him and he soaked it up as much as he could as he pressed his cheek into Michael's hand as he closed his eyes and then he felt the bed moving again and Luke got so scared that Michael was going to leave him again.

Instead Michael shifted on the bed until he was getting under the covers next to Luke and facing him as he laid on his side. They were both sharing Luke's pillow and with how perfect this was he swore he was dreaming; he had to be dreaming.

Luke felt another tear run down his cheek again and he felt himself sniffling when Michael wiped it away with the back of his fingers then he was leaning in and kissing his damp cheek.

Luke let out a whimper when Michael started to trail the lightest kisses down his cheek until he was at his lips then Michael was kissing him with passion as he rubbed his hands through the back of Luke's hair and Luke felt like he was on top of the world.

Michael was kissing him on the lips and this time the black haired boy had initiated it.

Luke couldn't believe his ears when heard Michael let out a whimper before he was kissing Luke faster and then backing up a bit as he breathed heavily out of his mouth.

Luke was quick to open his eyes to look at Michael and Michael looked just as sad as Luke felt.

"I fucking hate seeing you cry" Michael whispered as he again moved his hand down to cup Luke's cheek and Luke rubbed his face against the boys rough hands.

"Please stay with me" was what Luke said back and he felt like crying from happiness when Michael nodded "yes".

  
This soft and caring side of Michael was so new to Luke but he didn't dare ask why Michael was acting like this; he was just going to take advantage of it as much as possible.

Michael seemed like he hadn't even taken his eyes off of Luke for even a second and Luke closed his eyes when Michael started to gently card a hand through the front of his hair.

They had complete privacy for once, with Calum out of the room, and a part of Luke wanted to do something sexual with Michael but he mostly just wanted to cuddle up to Michael and just enjoy the boy holding him. He didn't know when or if this soft side of Michael would come out again and that scared Luke but he knew he had to just appreciate it while he had it.

He of course loved every side of Michael but this side of him was just so rare.

Luke couldn't help but lean forward and peck Michael's lips a few times as he kept his own eyes open, trying to see Michael's reaction and on the 2nd peck Michael was heavily closing his eyes like he was exhausted then Luke put his hands on Michael's cheeks and gave him a slightly deeper kiss and then backed up and just looked at Michael's features as the other boy still had his lips parted and his eyes closed.

Luke looked down and unbuttoned the first button on Michael's black dress shirt then he was nervously looking up, wondering how Michael would react, and Michael was just flicking his eyes all over Luke's face as he moved his hand to rest on Luke's hip.

Luke took that as a sign to continue and he softly smiled before unbuttoning the shirt the rest of the way.

Once the shirt was slightly pushed out of the way Luke took a deep breath at the sight of Michael's naked torso and he started by just slowly moving his hands up and down his chest and Luke couldn't believe how cold Michael's skin was.

"Are you cold?" Luke asked in a worried tone as he was already bringing the blanket up higher on them and then Michael was chuckling and shaking his head.

Luke went back to touching Michael's torso a few moments longer then he leaned forward and started pecking Michael's collarbone and neck and he knew he had to be imagining it when he thought he felt Michael shiver underneath him as soon as his lips touched his skin.

Luke was just blindly moving his hands all over Michael's torso as he started to now kiss at his skin harder and that was when he felt it; the sudden warmness and he stopped his movements and backed up to see exactly where he was touching Michael.

Luke realized that he had his hand right on Michael's chest where the boys heart was and he widened his eyes before moving his hand slightly away from the area to realize that everything around it was still ice cold.

"Michael" Luke whispered and he looked up to see Michael, for the first time tonight, avoiding his eyes as he looked everywhere but at Luke. Luke put his hand back over Michael's heart "It's warm"

Luke got scared when Michael tensed his jaw and started to back away from Luke a little but Luke was quick to wrap a hand around his back and pull the boy back in.

"It's okay" Luke soothed as he moved his other hand to caress Michael's cheek and Luke got goosebumps when Michael closed his eyes and instantly leaned into the touch "It's just-" Luke searched for a way to go about talking about this without scaring Michael away again "Has it always been warm?"

Michael seemed to get angry right then but as soon as he looked back at Luke the anger was gone and he just shook his head.

"I don't know what's happening to me" Michael said in the most scared voice Luke had ever heard him speak.

Luke just leaned forward and brought their lips together in a more passionate kiss this time and he hoped it was enough; with the way that Michael reached around his back and held him tight he knew that it was.

  
The last thing that Luke remembers saying to Michael was “I don’t even know your last name” and that brought a chuckle out of Michael that Luke felt the vibration of against his chest.

  
“It’s Clifford”

  
And it wasn’t much but Luke fell asleep feeling like knew Michael a little bit better.

  
*

When the harsh light from the window woke him up like it did every other morning Luke was shocked to see there was only one other person in the room with him but it wasn't who he expected.

The light made his skin look almost golden and Luke smiled when he saw that Michael's shirt was still undid and he was laying on his back with one arm above his head on the pillow.  
  
His face was turned away from Luke but just barely. Luke had never gotten to wake up with someone that he cared about so much but he was pretty sure that he wanted to do this for the rest of his life.

He didnt even care where Calum was currently because he had this beautiful boy in front of him and Luke smiled before leaning forward and pressing the lightest kisses all over Michael's face, from his forehead down to his jaw and only then did Michael begin to stir a bit.

He let out a quiet mumbled of something and Luke loved seeing this vulnerable side of him.

Luke started to rub his hand up Michael's chest like he had last night and it still gave him butterflies in his stomach when he touched over Michael's heart and it was still warm.

Luke leant down to kiss that same spot and moved his hand down to Michael's stomach just as the boy under him was starting to open his eyes.

Luke picked his head up, sensing Michael's eyes on him and the black haired boy was looking at him with heavily lids but a slight smile on his face and Luke blushed before leaned forward and kissing Michael's lips hard. Michael responded to it right away this time as if he missed kissing Luke just as much and Luke backed up and sucked in a breath but still stayed close to Michael.

Michael went to turn his head only slightly towards Luke and Luke would have missed it if he wasn't planning on touching Michael's hair.

Michael seemed to sense Luke's confusion but Luke spoke before he did as he got closer to Michael's black hair and touched the spot just in case he was imagining things.

"Um, Michael. Did you put a highlight in your hair?"

Michael's first reaction was to chuckle as he raised his eyebrows.

"Um no" he said like it was obvious.

"Well" Luke began but double checked just to make sure "There's a gold streak it in"

Luke watched Michael's smile fade quickly then he was widening his eyes before getting out of bed so quickly that it made Luke jump.

"Michael, are you okay?" Luke rushed out as he sat up in bed.

He watched as Michael rushed over to the window then he was looking at his own reflection and rubbing a hand through his hair.

"Michael" Luke tried again and then he was getting out of the bed and walking up behind Michael.

"Fuck" Michael pressed out and it seemed like his old self was coming back.

Luke almost felt like crying when Michael pushed past him and started making his way towards the door.

"Michael p-please" Luke stuttered out and this time he knew he was crying but it made Michael stop "Please don't leave me again"

Luke needed Michael and he didn't want to think about Michael leaving and never coming back to him.

He watched as Michael ran a hand through his hair before briefly looking back at Luke.

"I'm sorry, Luke" he mumbled and it didn't even sound like his voice, like a voice of a demon but Luke didn't have time to think about it before Michael as once again disappearing right before his eyes.


	7. Chapter 7

It had been almost two weeks since he last saw michael and luke knew he was getting bad again.

He knew it when he looked in the mirror and he could see the black bags under his eyes that made it look like he hadn't slept in years.

He knew it when he woke up in the morning and Calum would always end up having to practically drag him out of bed and down to breakfast.

He never ate any more than a few bites on his tray during any meal and Luke swears he could see the affects of his new eating habits when he looked in the mirror with his shirt off and his ribs were beginning to pop out.

Being this sad about Michael leaving him, and maybe not coming back, was reminding Luke of all the old things that used to make him sad too and it was all so much to deal with.

Some nights he would think about the envelope opener that was under his mattress and he would consider taking it against his skin but he knew that would only make thing worse. If any of the workers here caught him with fresh cuts who knows what they would do and they might even put him in another room and Luke knew he couldn't be away from Calum, Sullivan or Taran.

Luke was still sad but the only thing that was keeping him from totally hitting a breaking point was the fact that he had people to talk to. Back when he lived with his mom Luke only had a friend for a short amount of time before Troy hit his own breaking point and left Luke to be by himself.

Sullivan taking Luke to the art room was a normal thing now and Luke was so glad for it. He even loved it if all they did was just paint or draw in silence; just having someone with him made all the difference.

*

It was later in the evening now and Luke kept thinking back to his session with Franco this morning and how he barely said anything the whole time even though he desperately needed to talk to someone about what he was going through.

He knew he couldn't talk about an actual demon to Franco but he could pretend that Michael was an old friend instead and he knew that Franco would just listen.

Luke could talk to the boys about his "old friend" but he just hated bombarding them with his own problems when he knew that they were obviously dealing with their own things; especially Calum.

So many nights went by where Luke would wake up and Calum would just be siting up in his bed and staring out the window after he got back from seeing Carver. Luke could tell how sad the boy was and Luke wished desperately that he could fix Calum's problems but he knew he couldn't help the boy when he was so broken himself.

There had even been one night where Calum crawled in next to Luke in his bed and Luke just let the boy lay next to him and he didn't let himself fall asleep until he knew Calum was.

*

Luke was laying in his bed just as the sun was going down behind him and Calum was sitting on his own bed but the boy had his headphones on and Luke hadn’t seen Taran or Sullivan since lunch. They were always running off and finding something new to do so Luke had no idea where they could be.

With one more glance to Calum Luke was getting off the bed and heading towards the door. He turned around once he heard Calum's music go off and Calum was staring at him with a blank look.

"Where you going?" Calum just curiously asked.

"Gonna go see Franco; I gotta go talk to him" Luke shrugged and Calum just nodded before grabbing his mp3 player again.

"Tell him I said 'hi'" Calum said and Luke looked back to see the boy smirking and Luke couldn't help smiling and rolling his eyes before stepping out into the hall.

*

The halls downstairs were always empty after dinner and Luke thought that most kids just went to sleep after they ate for the last time that day; he wasn't sure.

  
As soon as Luke got to the familiar hall where Franco's office was he realized that he didn't even know how he was going to start to talk about his feelings these past couple days without giving away the fact that Michael couldn't be seen by other people. If he told Franco that he saw a demon every day then Luke knew it would be the mans duty to tell Mrs. Crabtree and Luke would probably end up in a room by himself strapped to a bed or something.

Luke began to wonder if he should even bring up Michael at all, even though Michael was the main source of his sadness. Luke decided that he could also talk about Troy though. He had never talked about his dead friend to anyone and Luke though it might help to talk about it.

As Luke got closer he just had to keep telling himself that Franco has told him many times that he could come see him anytime he needed to; Luke knew the man wouldn't be upset about the surprise visit.

  
Luke ran fingers against the hall walls as he got closer and he was starting to remember how he felt the very first day he came to Franco's office and how nervous he had been. Luke knew it had only been a little over a month since he got here but he was so comfortable with Franco now and there were some days where Luke even considered telling the man the real story about Michael.

Luke knew he would knock when he got to the door, usually he would just walk in but this wasn't his typical time to see Franco and Luke didn't want to be rude by walking in on someone else's session.

He was just about to put the back of his knuckles on the door when he heard a loud sigh from inside the room and Luke furrowed his eyebrows. It didn't exactly sound like an upset sort of sigh but Luke began to wonder if Franco was having a bad day or something and that maybe this wasn't the best time to stop by.

Franco was a therapist but Luke was smart enough to know that even shrinks had their own problems too. Luke felt like he would ask Franco about his one day.

Luke didnt hear anything else and was about to knock again but this time the noise from inside had him becoming a bit worried.

It sounded like Franco was out of breath as Luke kept hearing the man let out slow fast breaths and Luke had no idea that the walls down here were so thin; or maybe the man inside was just being very loud.

Luke stepped back, thinking he would just come see Franco after dinner today but the next sound that could be heard had Luke widening his eyes when he realized what was really going on in there; Franco wasn't having a bad day at all, or at least he for sure wasn't upset right this second.

It was a sound that was clearly a sexual moan that was followed by an "oh shit" that was clearly said by Franco.

  
Luke knew he should have been grossed out by hearing his therapist masturbate but Luke was only human after all and his therapist was hot as hell; not to mention that the breathy moans were almost constant now and Luke hated himself for chubbing up in his pants a bit.

"Ah fuck" came from the room and this time Luke couldn't believe how loud the man was being; not to mention that anyone, even Mrs. Crabtree, could walk by any second and hear what he was doing in there.

Luke knew he should have walked away after he heard the first moan but he felt himself glued to the marble floor as he had his ear now pressed right up against the door like the worlds biggest creep.

He heard a loud banging noise every second or so as if he was up against the desk and speeding up his hand so that the desk was hitting the wall and Luke bit his lip at the though of Franco jerking himself off on his desk at a fast pace; Luke knew he wouldn't ever be able to look at his therapist the same after this.

Suddenly there was a few more higher pitched moans and then a deeper one that almost sounded like a growl and Luke had to clench his eyes shut and force himself not to touch his own hard dick in his pants when his mind right away went to Michael and the beautiful sounds that the boy made.

The sounds ceased after that and Luke heard a low mumble from inside, which made him confused, but he didn't have time to think about it much more before he became frightened of getting caught when he could hear fast footsteps coming towards the door.

In a panic Luke looked all around him and then saw a corner at the end of the hallway and quickly ran towards it before hiding behind it and pressing himself up against a water fountain.

Luke held his breath as he heard the door opening and Luke didn't even know why but he slowly peeked his head out from the corner when he heard a deep sigh like before but this time it sounded more upset or sad than sexual.

What he saw walking out of Franco's office had Luke about falling to his knees and right then he realized that Franco hadn't been jerking off at all; he clearly didn't need to do that.

The boy that had just walked out of Franco's office was walking slowly as Luke seen him obviously limping a bit and Luke wasn't some innocent virgin so he knew straight away why the boy was limping and he knew exactly what him and Franco had been doing in there.

Luke watched as his friend looked to the side a bit and fixed his glasses before he was getting further and further down the hall and Luke was left feeling like every secret that he found out about this place was even more shocking than the last.

  
*

  
At dinner all of the other three boys were talkative like they always were and Luke was quiet like he has been since he last saw Michael but today he was silent for a very different reason; he didn't even know if he was more shocked or proud of his friend. Franco was undoubtably the most good looking person working here and he was 26 while Sullivan was just barely 19.

Luke began to think back to the first day he was here when Sullivan had said he had sucked Franco off to get more pills and Luke realized that he hadn't been lying about that. Taran had said that Sullivan was a pathological liar but maybe he wasn't as big of a liar as his friends thought he was.

Luke swears he hadn't taken his eyes off of Sullivan since he sat down and he didn't even look away to take bites of his food. Sullivan had a smirk on his face as he leaned forward with his arms on the table as he had obviously just said something snarky at Taran and Luke could hear Calum's laughter but it seemed miles away with how focused he was on Sullivan.

Sullivan had a crooked grin that Luke only seen on handsome actors and his dark blue eyes almost seemed to have a green rim around the middle; Luke began to realize why Franco was interested in him. Luke had known that Sullivan was good looking since he met him but it was becoming even more clear as he was now really getting a good look at him.

Luke finally looked away from Sullivan's happy face but it was only to follow the boys hand that was scratching at the collar of his shirt.

Anyone else would have missed it but since Luke was watching his movements so intensely he could see a dark bruise on Sullivan's pale skin that was right above his collar bone at the bottom of his neck.

Luke widened his eyes when Sullivan moved his shirt again and half of another bruise could be seen. Luke started to wonder where else Franco had marked the boy up and he also felt jealously as he wished that Michael's marks would show up on his own skin.

"So did you have a nice talk with Franco?" Calum suddenly said and Luke was still watching Sullivan but then Sullivan was quickly looking up at him and Luke looked away to see Calum and Taran looking at him too but for a different reason than Sullivan was.

"What?" Luke said coughing a bit and focusing on Calum.

"Didn't you go to see Franco to talk to him?" Calum continued and Luke swore he could hear the cogs turning in Sullivan's head as the boy looked out into the distance as his eyes kept flicking back in forth in fear.

"Oh that. No, I didn't end up doing that" Luke said in the best real voice he could but when Sullivan looked over at him it was as if the boy knew he was lying and he knew exactly what Luke knew.

Sullivan looked straight up terrfied as he looked back down to the table and Luke wanted to just run far away and act like he had never heard his therapist fucking his friend.

Luke heard Taran and Calum both saying something about heading to The Eden as they put all of their trash on their trays and began to stand up. Luke was quick to stand up too, just needing to get away from Sullivan's terrified state.

"Me and Luke will meet you guys there" Sullivan suddenly said as he looked up at Taran and Taran and Calum both started to walk away without another word.

When Sullivan looked back to Luke Luke was actually afraid of what Sullivan was going to say to him but curious all at the same time.

*

The walk up to the 2nd floor felt like it lasted forever as Sullivan was holding Luke's hand again and he knew that Sullivan was trying to calm himself down as he kept rubbing his thumb against Luke's skin and squeezing his hand every few seconds but Luke didnt mind.

Calum and Luke's door was closer than Sullivan's and Taran's so Luke wasn’t surprised when Sullivan pulled him into his own room.

Luke walked in first as he heard Sullivan closing the door behind them and Luke started putting his hand over the blankets on his bed before he heard Sullivan walking up behind him and he stopped his movements but kept his eyes on the bed.

"So...you heard me and Franco" Sullivan said in a shaky voice as he stood in front of the door still and in the corner of his eye Luke could see Sullivan moving his hands around in his pants pockets.

"Yes" Luke mumbled even though Sullivan had stated it, instead of asking if he did.

Sullivan let out a deep breath before walking over to Calum's bed and sitting on the foot of it. Luke became worried about the boy when he put his elbows on his knees and rested his face in his hands.

Luke was quick to sit next to him and wrap his arm around Sullivan. Usually Luke would be cautious about touching someone without their consent but it was no secret that Sullivan loved touching and that statement confirmed itself even more when the boy was instantly leaning into his Luke and burrowing his face in his neck.

"I didnt mean to make you feel bad about it" Luke said softly as he rubbed at Sullivan's shoulder, he of course he instantly felt bad for making Sullivan sad because he remembered how judgey he had been down in the cafeteria "It's your business what you do"

"No, Luke" Sullivan said quietly before taking his head away from Luke and looking down at the floor "It just terrifies me because he could lose his job...because of me; I know I'm not worth that and I don't even know why he wastes his time on me"

There was so much sadness and insecurity in his voice and Luke knew he had to cheer him up and bring some humor into this conversation.

"Well he sure sounded like he was enjoying himself" Luke said and it instantly had Sullivan chuckling into the back of his hand.

"Believe it or not though" Sullivan said getting serious again "It's not just about the sex" he said then he was looking over at Luke as he still bent over with his elbows on his knees "I really like him, Luke and I know that we'll never be able to have anything more than what we have right now"

Luke wanted to say that that wasn't true but he knew that would just be a lie. Sullivan was a lifer, never to be let out of this place, and Franco was an employee here and even if he did quit to be with Sullivan he would never be allowed in here to see him because Sullivan didn't get to have visitors. The whole situation was a dead end and Luke felt for Sullivan so hard.

"I'm sorry, Sullivan" Luke said quietly as he rubbed at the boys back with the tips of his fingers "How long has this been going on?" Luke just had to ask when Sullivan didn't say anything else.

"About 2 years" Sullivan said like he was ashamed of how long this had been going on and Luke let out a huff of breath. Sullivan had no doubt developed strong feelings for Franco in that amount of time and he had probably had them way before they even started fooling around.

"How umm..." Luke thought about asking it but then decided against it ; Sullivan probably didn’t want to talk about it "Never mind"

"What?" Sullivan agued him on, wanting to know what Luke was going to say.

"It's nothing; it's none of my business"

"What, do you wanna know how it happened; me and him?" he said with a small smirk and Luke felt himself blushing and then looking away and nodding; that had been exactly what he wanted to know. It was just that Franco seemed very professional when it came to his job and Luke couldn't picture the man coming onto one of his patients but maybe he was wrong; it was obvious that Franco wasn't professional enough about his job to stop his sexual urges on an attractive boy that was much younger than him.

  
Well" Sullivan let out a long breath and put his palms behind him on the bed to lean back a little "I'm pretty sure that Franco knew I liked him right from the start. I mean I looked at him like he hung the stars; I still do. I remember I was having a really bad day that first day that something happened between us. I was sitting on the couch like always but I was bent over and crying and then I felt the couch dip next to me and I knew he was sitting next to me which is something he had never done before. He started rubbing at my back and fuck-" Sullivan let out a chuckle as he shook his head.

"Just from that little touch I felt like I was going to die and I sat up and looked over at him but then I got scared that he would take his hand off my back...but he didn't. He was just so close to me and I went for it; I kissed him and it sounds crazy but it felt like every part of me was healed and I feel like that every time I'm with him" Sullivan chewed on his lip as he still looked straight ahead but then he was looking over at Luke "Have you ever kissed someone and you just feel like it's what you've been missing your whole life; like they just fill every empty part of you?"

They were such strong words and in that moment Luke swore he could feel how in love Sullivan was with Franco; he also knew that feeling very well, the feeling of finding someone who seems to fix all the broken pieces, and all he could see in his head was black hair and green eyes.

"Yeah" Luke whispered and it was only then that he felt the wetness in his eyes "Yeah I know that feeling"

"So you've got a girlfriend back home?" Sullivan said with a chuckle and Luke was quick to shake his head.

"No, it's not a girl" he said simply then Sullivan was raising his eyebrows.

"Aha! I knew you were gay. Taran owes me a blowjob" he said with a serious tone but it had Luke laughing then putting a hand through his hair.

Luke didn't want Sullivan asking any more questions about the demon he was in love with so he was quick to go back to the topic of Franco.

"So how is he?" Luke said with a smirk and Sullivan looked shocked before letting out a laugh.

"You dirty boy. You wanna know the details don't you?"

"Well I mean...what happened after you kissed him?" Luke said because he knew that there was more to the story.

"He pushed me away after like a second and his face was beat red like I have never seen him so flustered and I immediately thought he was just straight up angry with me but then pushed me back on the couch and started kissing me...like really kissing me and uh then-" Sullivan stopped and Luke could see him trying to stop himself from smiling as his started to blush.

"Come on" Luke said playfully as he bumped into Sullivan's shoulder and the boy shied away more but Luke knew he was going to continue.

"Well I sucked him off and then...he returned the favor and I don't mean to sound dramatic but it was the best blowjob I've ever had. He's really good at everything, honestly"

"Jesus" Luke laughed out "I hope you know that I won't ever be able to look at him the same again. You aren't gonna tell him that I know...are you?" Luke asked nervously.

"No way" Sullivan said sternly then he was turning to Luke "And, Luke no one else knows about this, not even Calum and Taran, so"

"I won't say a word. I promise" Luke said and he meant it.

"Thank you” Sullivan was then putting a hand on Luke’s shoulder “You’re a good friend, Luke”

  
Luke was practically glowing at the compliment because no one had ever told him that before. Luke made it his mission now to be the best friend that he could for Sullivan.

There was so much more that Luke wanted to know about Franco and Sullivan but Luke knew he had pushed enough and Sullivan would tell him more if he wanted to.

  
"But what about the cameras...in the room?" Luke asked just as they were exiting the room and Sullivan smirked before looking both ways down the hall.

"He has his ways" was all that he left Luke with and Luke remembers those words coming out of Franco's mouth once before and it was all he needed.

  
*

  
The next day when Luke had to face Franco again he knew he should have seen the man in a while different way, maybe a worse way, but he didn't.

Luke watched the way that Franco rubbed a hand through his hair before sitting down and he softly smiled as he made brief eye contact with Luke.

Luke wanted to know so badly if Franco felt the same way that Sullivan did, if it was more than just about the sex to him. Luke hoped that Franco did like him back because Luke knew what it was like to like someone but not have them like you back and Sullivan didn't deserve that.

Luke had grown very fond of Sullivan in a short amount of time and Luke could tell how sensitive the boy was.

"Luke"

Luke quickly looked up and raised his eyebrows.

"You seem distracted"

And Luke just nodded, because he was, but he couldn't tell Franco why.

"Have you ever been in love?"

Luke's question obviously caught the man off guard because he let out a cough and then looked to the side as he rubbed at his jaw with his palm.

"Why do you ask?" Franco said after recuperating.

Luke shrugged, "Just wondering"

Franco looked at Luke for a few more seconds, like he was trying to figure out why Luke had asked him that but then he seemed to give up as he looked at the door.

"Yeah I have" the man was still looking away and he seemed to be thinking hard about it "a long time ago"

Luke felt his heart sink at that because it meant that Franco didn't love Sullivan back.

"But is there someone important in your life right now?" Luke pushed further, trying to get something out of him.

Franco let out a small chuckle and then pressed his lips together as he blinked down at the floor.

"Yeah I guess there is" Franco smiled softly and Luke perked up at that even though he wasn't 100% sure that he was referring to Sullivan "it's very complicated though"

"So you can't be with them?"

Franco looked straight up sad now and Luke started to feel bad but he also started to realize that maybe Sullivan meant more to the man than he thought.

"No I can't, Luke" he said as he clenched his jaw a little and Luke was just about to ask more questions then Franco was clearing his throat and situating in his seat and Luke could see him becoming more professional right before his eyes "let's move on from my life, okay?"

"O-okay" Luke nodded and he knew better than to bring up the topic again. He was obviously very touchy with that subject.

"Would you like to talk about a special person in your life?" And Luke should have seen that one coming.

  
“No. There isn't anyone” Luke lied because he had a million things to say about Michael but there was no use in talking about someone he probably wasn't even going to see again. It had been over two weeks but that felt like a life time and it was enough to make Luke feel like Michael didn't care about him at all.

  
(When Luke left Franco’s office he swore he saw Michael standing at the very end of the hall leaning against the wall but when he blinked the figure disappeared but Luke swore he could still feel the boys presence all around him)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> this idea came to me last second and I'm not sure if you guys will be happy about Franco and Sullivan hooking up or not. Idk let me know what you think. This fic is even more fucked up than I planned and believe it or not it actually gets worse lmao


	8. Chapter 8

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> from here on I don't think there will be any boring chapters because big things are going to be happening in each chapter. I only plan for this to have like 12 or 13 chapters but there's lots more to come. Let me know what you think!

The first thing that Luke felt when he woke up was a hand on his arm and soon he realized that said hand was shaking him. 

Luke let out a groan and rolled onto his back but the hand just moved to his face and the person started to tap his cheeks; it was quite an unpleasant way to wake up and Luke wondered what could be so important. 

He knew that there was no way it was morning yet because he couldn't even remember dreaming and it felt like he had only slept for a couple of hours. 

He started to open his eyes and he realized he was right when the room was dark and the outdoor lights were the only thing that allowed Luke to see who was waking him up. 

"I don't wanna go down to the basement" was the first thing that Luke made clear because there was no way in hell he was ever going down there again and he couldn't think of any other reason of why his roommate would be waking him up. 

"We're not going to the basement, bud" Calum whispered "Come on, the boys are waiting" 

The boys? Luke didn't know that Sullivan and Taran ever left their rooms at night but he knew he should have guessed that they did because they did everything else together. 

"Where are we going then?" Luke asked as he yawned but he still refused to get out of bed. He didn't want to end up in some terrifying place like the last time he left his room late at night. 

"Stop asking so many questions" Calum complained before he was actually grabbing Luke by his shirt and pulling him up into a sitting position "They're gonna leave without us if you don't hurry up" 

Luke sat up with his feet on the floor as he rubbed at his eye and looked at Calum walking towards the door with the other one. 

He figured that now that he was up he might as well follow Calum; it might be interesting to see where they planned on going. 

Luke was quick to slip his shoes on and then he was fast walking towards the door and quietly shutting it behind him. 

In the dim lights above him Luke could see Calum looking back at him as he was walking down the hallway and Sullivan and Taran were both sitting on the first step so Luke wondered how long they have been waiting for him or if they were just still tired. 

"About time, hemmings" Taran said in a comical tone as he turned around from his spot on the step before standing up and Sullivan was briefly looking at Luke too as he stood up. 

"Alright let's get going" Calum said hitting Taran on the shoulder then the two of them were beginning to walk down the stairs. 

Luke smiled wide when Sullivan waited for him and he noticed that the boy wasn't wearing his glasses. 

People who wore glasses always looked so different without them and Sullivan was the same way. He almost looked younger without them and Luke noticed slight black bags under his eyes and Luke could tell that he had just woken up too but he didn't look any less handsome. 

Sullivan grabbed Luke's hand before they started walking downstairs too, only trailing behind Taran and Calum by a couple steps, and Luke noticed that Sullivan never held onto anyone else's hand, it was just his and it made Luke feel really special. 

"Where are your spectacles?" Luke said in a proper tone and it caused Sullivan to crack his crooked smile and then he looked up at the ceiling with his bright eyes. 

"Couldn't find them and Taran was rushing me out of the room anyways" Sullivan spoke as if he had a cold and Luke realized that it was his just waking up voice. 

"Do you know where we're going?" 

"Unfortunately not" Sullivan spoke just as they were getting off the steps and they watched the other two boys go straight down a hall that Luke had never been down "I think I have a feeling though" 

Luke was just about to ask where Sullivan thought they were going but up ahead Calum was bending down in front of a door with the same sharp object that he had used before to open doors. Luke wondered where he learned to open doors like that. 

Taran was then leaning against the wall next to the door and blocking Luke's view of Calum but Luke could hear the mumble of their voices. 

"I don't know how it happened but I must have left before 3am last night" Calum spoke to Taran seeming scared "Who knows if they even look at the footage but I don't wanna take a chance and end up with another warning" 

"You're on your 2nd warning aren't you?" Taran asked and now Sullivan and Luke were standing behind the boys as they spoke to each other and Calum fiddled with the lock. 

"Yeah" Calum answered then a sound from the door handle could be heard and Calum was standing up before opening the door. 

Luke watched as Taran and Calum walked in first and Taran looked back at the other boys before turning to the left in the room.

Sullivan squeezed Luke's hand before letting it go then he was putting his hand on Luke's back between his shoulder blades, inviting him in first and Luke didn't hesitate to walk in then Sullivan was close behind him and shutting the door quietly. 

Once inside the dark room he realized the only light were from the TV's filling up the entire wall in front of him. There were two rows of TV's with four TV's in each row and Luke realized that two more of the walls had the same amount of TV's. The flat screen TV's were the only source of light in the room and he realized that they all showed certain rooms and halls on this floor and kept flicking to different cameras. 

All the halls were clear but in certain rooms Luke would see a worker that was finishing something up. 

Taran was standing closer and watching the TV's but Calum was off in the corner of the room looking through a box. 

Sullivan was now sitting down in a spinny chair close next to him and he had his head resting back on it with both feet flat on the floor and his legs spread slightly as he was looking all over the room with hooded eyes. Luke could tell how tired he was and hoped this wouldn't take too long. 

Luke also began to wonder why they all had to come with Calum to do this but then he realized that he was just happy that they were including him in something. 

Luke began to wonder a bit and he started walking towards a closet in a corner of the room where the door was left open and there were a few stacks of boxes. 

"I can't believe that Ronald is still here" Taran said with a laugh and Luke briefly looked back to see Taran looking up at a screen where a guy with a mop was moving it against the floor in the dim cafeteria lights "Jesus, doesn't that guy ever go home?" 

"He lives in one of the old offices on the top floor that no one uses anymore" Sullivan said in a bored and mumbled tone. 

"He does not" Taran said in disbelief. 

"He really does" Calum chipped in and Luke opened the closet door a bit more with a creak "I heard he used to be a patient here but he didn't want to leave so they just gave him a job as a janitor" 

"I don't know where you guys are getting your information" Taran said after a scoff. 

"I heard the librarians talking about it" Calum said in a calm voice but before Luke got a closer look at the boxes in the closet he looked back to see Calum still frantically looking through the box. 

"Hey, me too" Sullivan said and in his peripheral vision Luke saw the boy turn around to look at Calum "Those bitches are the eyes and ears of this institution" 

Luke chuckled a bit at Sullivan then he was bending down and squinting to look inside one of the boxes that was hidden way in the back of the small closet.

He wished he had a light but as he got closer he could see clear DVD cases like they had in Family Video's and as he flicked his eyes all over them he could see names on each of the bindings on them. 

He backed up again and written on the outside of the box in black marker was "Dr. McGuire". 

Luke realized that the footage in this box was from Franco's patients. 

As he started to flick through them again with his index finger he realized quickly that they were in alphabetical order by last name. 

The box was stuffed full so Luke knew he would get to the name faster if he started from the back of the box then he began flicking backwards through the DVD's. 

He got to the S's and there were only a few other names before he came to "Matthew Sullivan" and before he took it out he was looking back to see Calum still looking through his own box and Taran was now sitting on the short counter that went all around the TV's. 

Sullivan was still sitting in the same position except for now his arms were lazily crossed over his chest as his eyes were closed. 

"Sullivan" Luke said not too loudly and then the boy was slowly turning his head and raising his eyebrows. 

Luke just made a "come here" movement with his index finger and Sullivan didn't hesitate to stand up and walk towards Luke. 

As Sullivan went to squat down next to him Luke could smell the boys ocean breeze body wash with a mixture of a slight flowery smell and Luke got a bit dizzy with how good he smelled. 

"Hmm?" 

"Look at this" Luke sad gesturing to the box "This is sessions from all of Franco's patients. Here's yours" he said pulling the DVD a bit more out of the box. 

Sullivan was instantly moving closer the box then softly taking the DVD from Luke's grasp. 

"Shit" he let out a chuckle after putting the DVD into the light a bit and Luke could see that on the front of it it read "November 5th, 2014" 

"Oh my god" Sullivan mumbled as he read the date himself and Luke became worried. 

"What? What's wrong?" 

Sullivan stared at it for a few more seconds before he seemed to be snapping out of it and was quickly looking back at the other two boys who were talking among themselves before he was getting closer to Luke and focusing on him. 

"Luke, this is from the day that we kissed for the first time" Sullivan whispered it so quietly that Luke almost didn't hear him "He told me-" Sullivan shook his head a bit as he closed his eyes "He told me that he got rid of the footage from that day" 

Luke took it between his hands and Sullivan let him then he heard the boy letting out a sigh. 

"Why would he lie to me?" Sullivan said to himself more than Luke and Luke was quick to comfort him. 

"I found it way back in this box. No one probably even looks at the DVD's in this closet" 

"Still" Sullivan bit at his lip "I can't believe he would take that chance" 

Luke watched as Sullivan looked at the case for a few more seconds before he was setting it on his lap then looking in the closet again. 

"Did you look in this box yet?" Sullivan said pointing to a box with red writing on it this time but it still said "Dr. McGuire" on it and Luke shook his head then watched as Sullivan started looking through it. 

Luke looked in the same box as before and started at the front of it. It was just giving him something to do and he was quick to push back the DVD's that he had already seen. 

It was quite dark in the closet so Luke couldn't see the names very well unless he was really focusing on them so it was easy for him to overlook the DVD's but he was quickly going backwards when it hit him that he had thought that he had seen a certain name that stuck out to him. 

"What the fuck" Luke said loud enough for all of the boys to hear but the volume of his voice was the last thing on his mind right now. The whole room could have a tornado go through it and he knew he wouldn't even notice. 

He read the name over several times before he was ripping it out of the box and holding it close to his face; just to check if he was seeing things or not. He wished that he was. 

"Luke...what is it?" Sullivan's voice next to him said but it seemed like miles away to Luke. 

"He-" Luke began but he was cutting himself off and putting his other hand over his face. 

The front of the DVD read "July 12th, 2013" and Luke noticed that there was a big red "X" on the front of it that Sullivan's DVD case hadn't had on it. 

Sullivan cautiously touched the top of the DVD case and was titling it slowly backwards in an attempt to see it but Luke was quickly yanking it back and standing up so fast that he felt dizzy and almost lost his balance completely. 

"Holy shit is he okay?" Taran said but Luke remembered seeing a DVD player on the middle of the counter when he had first came in and that was the only thing on his mind. 

He was quick to take the DVD out of the case and then he was putting it in the DVD player. 

He frantically followed the chord from the player and found out that it belonged to the the TV on the top row right above it and he quickly switched the input on the TV as he waited for something to appear. 

"Luke" Calum said but Luke didn't dare look away from the TV "Sullivan, do you know what he's doing?" 

"No" Sullivan said quietly and all of their voices were just background noise to him as Franco's familiar room came into view on the screen and the camera was still in the same place so Luke could see only the back of Franco's head as he sat in the chair but the boy on the couch could be clearly seen as he laid on his back with his arms under his head a he looked at the ceiling. 

Luke couldn't believe his eyes and he slowly felt like someone was pushing him backwards into the chair that Sullivan had been sitting on earlier. 

"We don't have to make this difficult" Franco said on screen in the most upset voice that Luke had ever heard him do and it almost didn't even seem like the gently talking man that he saw everyday "Just tell me why you hit Alex yesterday" 

Luke watched as the blond boy tensed his jaw before whipping his head to look at Franco and Luke almost jumped at the intensity of him. 

"He said something to my friend that made me upset so I hit him" he spoke in a much different tone than Luke was used to but it still had heat to it; just a lot less confidence. 

"What did he say to your friend?" 

The boy shook his head before looking back up to the ceiling and it seemed like he was even more upset than before. 

Luke heard Franco let out a sigh like he had heard the man do a few times before when his questions weren't answered then Luke watched as the man rested his arm on the side of the chair and tapped it a few times. 

"Michael" Franco spoke and Luke actually tensed up at hearing his name "What did Alex say to your friend?" 

"He called him a fag so I punched that fucking bastard right in the face; he deserved it. He deserves to get killed actually" he spoke so casually now as he swiped some of his dark blond hair off of his forehead then rested his hand on his stomach. 

"Don't you think that's a bit drastic, Michael?" 

"Nope" Michael shook his head once in a fast motion almost like a twitch instead "No one messes with my friends; especially not Matt. If someone fucks with Matt then they better pray I don’t find out about it” 

Behind him Luke heard a whimper and for the first time since the DVD started he turned away from it to see Sullivan with his hand over his mouth as he was sitting against the wall with his knees to his chest. Even from here Luke could see the tears on his face and after he forced himself to look away from Sullivan he decided to look at the other two boys. 

Calum was still at the back of the room but his wife's eyes were at the screen as he looked more pale than Luke had ever seen.

Taran didn't look any better as he was constantly chewing on his bottom lip and moving his leg up and down as he was still sitting on the counter. 

Luke looked back to the screen. 

"...and he's just too shy to defend himself so I do it for him. If I wouldn't had put Alex in his place then he would have treated Matt like shit up until the day he left" Michael continued and Luke knew he was talking about Sullivan because every time Michael said "Matt" the blue eyed boy behind Luke would suck in a breath and let out a whimper. 

"I'm glad that you defended your friend, Michael but try doing that with words next time instead of violence" 

Michael let out a cruel laugh at that and Luke felt that flutter feeling in his stomach like he did every time that he saw Michael smile. 

"No. Alex needed to get punched in the face and he's damn lucky that I didn't do more" 

"Michael you really-" 

"Turn it off" came a voice much closer to him than the ones on screen and Luke realized it was Calum but he still didn't move. 

"Calum-" Taran started in a soft tone and Luke soon heard footsteps behind him but he was still just focusing on Michael's beautiful face as he was now looking over at Franco with a small smile. 

Luke felt, rather than saw, Calum walk past him quickly and Luke jumped when Calum was harshly unplugging the DVD player and the screen was going fuzzy. 

Luke looked quickly over at Calum and it was the first time that he ever felt really angry at the boy. 

"What the hell was that for?" Luke spit out and he knew his tone shocked the other two boys but Calum just stood there staring Luke down as he tensed his jaw. 

Luke heard another whimper behind him and he turned his head to see Sullivan now completely hiding his face in his palms as his shoulders moved up and down and sobbing sounds were being muffled by his hands. Luke was so close to walking over there to comfort Sullivan but then Calum's loud voice was making him jump. 

"Why did you put that DVD in?" Calum spoke slowly but sternly as he got closer to Luke and now that it was over he realized what he had done. He had no idea how he was going to explain to them how he knew Michael so he knew he would have to lie. 

"I ummm" Luke closed his eyes, he hated how shit he was at lying "I used to go to school with him" it was the best thing that Luke could come up with with Calum's scary stare on him. 

"Really?" Calum cocked his head to the side and right away Luke knew the boy wasn't buying it "Cause according to your file you're from Portland while Michael was from Sacramento" 

"Wait, how did you read my file?" Luke was quick to try and change the subject. 

"How. Do. You. Know. Michael?" Calum said through gritted teeth and Luke found himself taking a step back. 

"Calum I-" 

"Don't you dare fucking lie to me, Luke" he took a few more steps and now he was breathing right in Luke's face and Luke hadn't even been this scared when the rat guy in the basement had tried to attack him. 

"Calum just leave him be" Taran said and his voice was behind them now and Luke turned around to see Taran now sitting on the floor next to Sullivan as he just had his arm around the still sobbing boy. Luke knew if it was him down there that he would have Sullivan held to his chest as he held him tight. Luke hated seeing him cry. 

"No! I'm not going to let him be, Taran" Calum yelled and it had all of them jumping "Michael died three fucking years ago and Luke just puts his tape in like he actually knows him. He couldn't possibly know him; it's literally impossible" 

When Taran didn’t argue Luke knew that the boy agreed with Calum and Luke knew he was on his own now; he also knew that he had to tell the truth.

"Now, I'm going to ask you one more time" Calum said to Luke and Luke swallowed hard "why did you put that DVD in?" 

"I can see him" Luke rushed out then he clenched his eyes shut, scared to see Calum's reaction. 

"You can see him" Calum said slowly and Luke just nodded. 

"What do you mean you can see him?" Taran asked in a much softer tone and Luke was quick to focus on him instead of Calum. 

"Before I came here I overdosed and I was dead for almost a full minute. While I was dead I saw Michael and I've seen him a few times while I've been here too" when Luke was done he looked to see Sullivan staring up at him him as he was still shaking with red puffy eyes. 

Calum let out a loud laugh but Luke could tell that he wasn't laughing because he thought it was funny; he was making fun of Luke.

"Oh you see him?" Calum laughed out and then he was pointing at Luke "That's fucking hilarious, Luke. Let me get this straight; So you can see dead people?" 

Luke knew Calum was making a fool out of him but he answered anyways. 

"No. Only Michael" 

"Oh! Only Michael...okay Luke" 

"It's true" Luke said sternly and Calum's smile was quickly wiped from his face and anger was taking over it instead once again. 

"I'm not a fucking moron, Luke so don't act like I am" 

"I'm not it's-" 

"Obviously you are!" Calum exploded again "Now, I never want you to act like you know Michael ever again cause it's bullshit and you know it is. You're doing this just to fuck with us" 

"I'm not!" Luke defended himself "I didn't even know that Michael was a patient here until just a few minutes ago. That's why I was freaking out" 

"Just stop with this! Just shut your fucking mouth cause I don't want to hear anything more out of you" 

This time Luke did as he was told, not wanting Calum to hurt him, and then Calum was glaring at him for a few more second before he was shaking his head and walking fast towards the door. 

Luke looked down at the floor to see Taran quickly rubbing at Sullivan's shoulder before helping him up. Luke stepped closer to them and Taran looked at him then Luke gave him a nod before Taran was squeezing Sullivan one more time and then running to catch up with Calum. 

Sullivan looked up at Luke with tears still in his eyes and Luke didn't hesitate to bring him into a hug. Sullivan was quick to melt into Luke's comfort and then he dug his face into Luke's neck. 

"I'm sorry I made you cry" Luke choked out, just about crying himself and Sullivan just rubbed his fingertips up his back in response. 

When they left the room Taran and Calum were almost to the stairs and Luke had his arm around the slightly shorter boy who had his face burrowed in Luke's chest. Luke felt so bad for reducing Sullivan to this state but he just had to see Michael's tape; had to see what the boy was like as a human but Luke still wanted to see more. 

He loved how protective Michael was of his friends and Luke wondered if Michael was still like that but towards him.

Luke just really wished that Michael's old friends, especially Sullivan could really see him because he could tell how much they all missed him. He also wished that they could see Michael so that they stopped thinking that he was insane.

*

When Luke got upstairs, with Sullivan still glued to his side, he was surprised to see Taran standing in between their two doors. 

Taran did a sad smile when he saw Luke and Sullivan and Luke relaxed a bit when Calum was nowhere in sight. He had made the boy very angry and Luke never wanted to do that again. 

“I'll be in there in a second" Taran said softly to Sullivan and Luke felt Sullivan rub a hand over his back before he was was walking away and towards his own room. 

Luke was left with only Taran and he looked in his room to see Calum sitting on his bed with his face in his hands. Luke hoped that he hadn't made Calum cry too; He felt like a monster. 

"Just don't say anything to him tonight and you should be fine" Taran spoke quietly to Luke but the "should" didn't make Luke feel much comfort. 

He remembered the time that Taran said that Calum threatened to kill him after he flushed his pills and Luke nervously bit at his lip. 

"Do you believe me?" Luke said as Taran was turning to walk to his room. 

The boy didn't face Luke as he let out a sigh like he was mentally exhausted then he turned his head. 

"I don't know, Luke. Just-" he waved him off then stepped into his room "just get some sleep" 

Luke watched as Taran shut the door then Luke was looking in his own room. 

Calum was now on his stomach with his face burrowed in his pillow and he hadn't even bothered to get under the covers. 

Luke made sure to practically tip toe into the dark room and then he was slipping under the covers. He laid on his back and looked in the corner of his eye at Calum. The boy still hasn't moved and Luke thought that maybe he was already asleep. 

Luke knew that Taran has told him not to speak to Calum, and for good reason, but Luke being Luke just had to attempt to make peace with Calum before he could go to sleep. 

"I'm sorry, Calum" was the last thing that Luke whispered before his only thoughts were consumed by the blond boy that was sitting on the couch.


	9. Chapter 9

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I just want to say that I love your guys' comments so much (Not just in this fic but in all of my fics) they make my day and even if I don't respond cause I'm shit at thinking of things to say just know that I'm smiling like a fool <3

As soon as Luke woke up the next morning it felt like his first day here at Seahaven where Calum wasn't talking to him or even acting like he existed. Except this time there was tension thick in the air and Luke was scared that even the smallest movement would cause Calum to snap at him again. 

As Luke was in the shower he kept thinking back to the black haired boy who got him off here and how good Michael's hands felt on his wet body. He also started to think about the protective blond boy on the couch, defending his friend with sharp but caring eyes. Luke knew they were the same person physically but demon Michael and human Michael seemed like they were on totally different ends of the spectrum. 

Demon Michael was possessive and always seemed to be angry while human Michael was protective but in a caring way and Luke sort of started to wish that Michael was more like he used to be before he died. 

In the video last night Michael did seem very sad and just downright depressed while the Michael that Luke knew was always confident and smirking in a sexy way. Luke was glad that Michael wasn't sad anymore but there were still certain aspects that human Michael possessed that Luke wished demon Michael had.

After Luke got done showering and went back up to his room Calum was sitting on his bed, no doubt tossing back pills that he traded with someone else and Luke noticed that he seemed to be taking even more than the usual. 

As Luke stood in the doorway unseen from Calum he watched as the boy tossed back another few pills and Luke was so scared that his roommate was going to overdose right before his eyes. 

Luke hadn't said a word to Calum since last night because he was really trying to give him space and not upset him but it was getting really hard for Luke to hold his tongue right now as Calum was reaching under his pillow for more pills. 

"Calum, please don't" Luke's voice came out almost as a whimper and he took a step back when Calum whipped his head to look at him with raised eyebrows and a set jaw. 

"What?" Calum said clearly confused but also still very upset that Luke was even talking to him. 

Now once Luke was realizing this Calum hated having even Taran trying to stop him from taking pills so Luke knew he shouldn't be intervening in this but now that he had spoke he couldn't exactly take it back. 

"You...were going to take more pills" Luke state softly and Calum just scoffed and shook his head before reaching under the pillow again. 

"Just fuck off, Luke" the sharp words stung Luke but he took a deep breath and stood his ground. He was not going to let his roommate kill himself. 

"I'm sorry about last night, Calum; I really am. I was being stupid" Luke shot out. 

Calum glared at him then rolled his eyes away before looking down at the pills in his hand. 

"I don't give a shit about some pathetic lie that you told" 

"Well you have to forgive me sometime; we're roommates" Luke tried to add a little humor to it but he knew it wouldn't work. 

"Oh do I now?" Calum raised his eyebrows "What, now you think you can tell me what to do?" 

Luke already hated where this was going and he regretted even saying anything at all; Calum obviously didn't want to be saved. 

"No I just-" 

"You know, you're making yourself look like a fucking idiot right now, Luke. How about you just leave and stop embarrassing yourself" 

The tone that Calum was speaking to him in reminded Luke of all the bullies that he went to school with; how they would tower over him and make him feel like an ant and they were the person holding their shoe above him. He remembered all the times they pushed him against the lockers and hurt him not only physically but would tell him how useless he was and how he didn't deserve to live. 

All of it was coming back to him and Luke felt a tear run down his cheek as he was shaking his head and quickly leaving the room without another glance at Calum. Luke was so upset right now that he didn't even care if Calum killed himself. Luke tried to make things right and Calum just kept putting him down and Luke was done. 

*

When Luke was entering the cafeteria for breakfast he noticed that only Sullivan and Taran were sitting at the table and Luke was glad for it. Taran seemed a little upset with him last night but Luke hoped that the boy didn't totally hate him like Calum obviously did. 

Sullivan on the other hand perked right up in his seat and smiled wide at Luke as he waved and Luke smiled right back. Luke was so upset after leaving his room but now he could feel happiness trying to seep its way back in merely because Sullivan looked so excited to see him. 

Luke sat next to Taran, not liking change, not knowing how Taran would react to him but luckily the boy looked up from his tray to give Luke a nod with a smile on his face and it was enough for Luke. He had, hopefully only temporarily, lost one friend but he was happy to have Taran and Sullivan still by his side. 

None of them said anything at first but that was typical for them in the morning, none of them were very talkative and Luke was always okay with that. He was just happy that the other two boys weren't upset with him because he knew he had said some pretty serious and crazy things last night. 

Michael was their friend way before Luke even knew that he existed and he knew that he threw a lot at them last night. He was starting to realize why Calum was so mad at him but the boy's words still hurt him. 

Luke actually jumped when he saw Calum sitting across from Taran and the other two boys were looking at him too, wondering if he was going to snap again. 

At least Luke knew that Calum hadn't killed himself and that he obviously hadn't taken more pills and Luke wondered what made him change his mind but despite his crude thoughts before he was glad that he did. 

After about 5 minutes at the table where the only sound was the clinking of silverware the normal quietness seemed more tense and Luke could see Sullivan looking up every few seconds wanting someone to say something but there was no way in hell Luke was going to be the one to do it. Luke felt like it was now best for him to just keep his mouth shut and just hope that this thing would blow over and Calum would start talking to him again. 

Luke has never been good with being ignored, especially by someone that he was sure was his friend, so having Calum act like he didn't even exist was slowly killing him. 

"Luke" Sullivan said as he put his fork down and Luke gave him a questioning look, wondering what Sullivan was going to say to break the silence "So let's just pretend that you can see Michael" and Luke let out a sigh, he wanted last night to just fade away but Sullivan wasn't making that easy "Umm well how is he doing?" 

Luke glanced up at Calum to see his reaction to Michael being brought up and he looked just as upset as last night as he tensed his jaw and just stirred his applesauce with his spoon. 

Luke stared back down at his plate. He had been wanting to tell someone, anyone, about Michael ever since he met him and now here was his chance but speaking would also make Calum hate him more. Luke only had three friends here and he figured that talking about his feelings wasn't worth losing a friend over. 

"Let's not talk about it" Luke mumbled and under the table he felt Taran lightly tap his knee like he was glad that Luke chose to stay away from the topic. 

Luke didn't want to disappoint Taran and he didn't want to piss off Calum more but without even looking up he could feel Sullivan giving him puppy dog eyes. 

"Please, Luke. I miss Michael and I just want to know what he's been up to" Sullivan said in a whiny voice and Luke ran hand over his face. Denying Sullivan was like telling a kid that they couldn't get ice cream and Luke could already feel himself caving. 

"None of you believe me anyways so what's the point" Luke muttered almost under his breath and it had Sullivan and Taran both looking at him. 

"What if I said I believe you?" Sullivan said softly and Luke just shook his head "I mean I think it's possible like-" 

"Sullivan just shut up for fucks sake" Calum's intense tone had them all jumping and it even got the attention of a few kids sitting at the next table. 

Luke made himself look up and Calum was looking down as he rubbed his hand against his forehead like he was getting a headache while Sullivan looked like an actual kicked puppy; Luke really wanted to comfort him but he knew there was only one way to do that. Luke caved. 

"He's good. He seems happy" Luke's voice had Sullivan perking right up and moving excitedly in his seat. 

"Yeah?" Sullivan smiled "Is he see through like a ghost or does he just look normal" 

"He looks totally normal...but his hair is black now" Luke said back and he swore across the table he could feel Calum's furious vibe. 

"Black? really? Shit I bet that looks really cool on him" Sullivan seemed to love talking about Michael and Luke wished he would have told the boy earlier but when Calum wasn't around. 

"Yeah it does" Luke smiled down at his plate and he really wished he could see Michael right now. It seemed like he hadn't seen him in years. 

"Does he have any like crazy powers like flying or something like that?" Sullivan asked and Luke realized that he failed to tell them that Michael was a demon but he was sure that they wouldn't want to know that their friend had went to hell. Hell was known to not be a pleasant place and Luke wanted them to keep thinking that Michael was in a peaceful place. 

"Well he can sense when I think about him" Luke mumbled because now once he said it out loud it seemed like a personal thing to say "And sometimes he'll show up" 

"Seriously?! Oh my god think of him right now so he'll show up" 

Luke's face went into a frown at that because he had been trying that ever since Michael last showed up and it never worked; Michael was still nowhere to be seen no matter how much Luke thought about him. 

"I can't. I haven't-" Luke stopped when Calum was abruptly pushing his chair back and grabbing his tray as he stood up, still most of his food on the tray, and then he was walking past the table. 

Luke looked away and was about to continue, not thinking much of Calum's behavior and actually surprised that he hadn't left earlier, but Taran was still watching the boy as he walked away and it was Taran that let out a gasp but Luke didn't think much of it. 

"I haven't seen him in a few-" 

"Calum!" was the last thing that Taran said before Luke was being pulled back by the back of his chair and his body was crashing into the hard tile flooring with a smack that had Luke seeing silver fireworks behind his eyes. 

Luke coughed a few times, having the wind knocked out of him, and then he was opening his eyes to see Calum now on top of him with his fists clenched and it all seemed to be happening in slow motion as Calum was bringing his fist into Luke's face and Luke was clenching his eyes shut and remembering all of the times that bullies at school had punched him. This somehow seemed worse as Calum's knees were digging into his chest and Luke was finding it hard to breathe but the pain was the main thing that he could feel. 

His head was throbbing and he felt like he was close to passing out with each hit and he could faintly hear Taran and Sullivan in the background.

Luke opened his eyes, with blurry vision to see a figure that looked like Taran trying to pull Calum away and to the right Sullivan was sitting on the floor and almost looking like he was rocking himself back and forth. 

Luke blacked out after that and all the sounds came to a stop.

*

When Luke blinked his eyes open his pounding head was the first thing he felt then a slight pain in the the bones around his eyes. 

In front of him was a kind looking woman with a doctor's coat on and Luke was surprised that they took him to the hospital. That also meant that he was out of the institution and Luke liked the idea of that. He wondered if he could somehow escape and then go live in the woods or something but then he thought about Taran and Sullivan; he just couldn't leave them but getting out of the institution was something that Luke really wanted. 

"Luke, how are you feeling?" she spoke and Luke just shifted in the small bed. When he looked down he realized that it wasn't the typical hospital bed with it's pink blankets and medal frame. He looked past the woman and out in the hall he could see that familiar white wall and marble flooring. He was still in the institution and he should have known that they would have a nurse here. 

"My head hurts" Luke mumbled and he tensed up when speaking made him get a sharp pain in his ribs where he remembered Calum's knees had been pushing into him. 

"Take these" she handed him two blue pills and Luke was quick to toss them back "And here is an ice bag for your eyes so they won't swell" 

Luke took the ice pack and shivered at the coldness of it and put it to his left eye first. 

"How long have I been out?" 

"Not very long; only about a half hour" she said and that made Luke feel better. At least he hadn't been out for several days or something like that. 

"Can I go back to my room? I just want to sleep" Luke said because he didn't want to be in this unfamiliar room any longer. 

"You can but Mrs. Crabtree would like to speak to you first" she said and Luke let out a groan with caused the nurse to let out a slight giggle. She couldn't be much older than Luke. 

"I hope you feel better soon, Luke" she spoke softly before leaving Luke alone in the room but Luke wasn't alone for very long before Mrs. Crabtree was walking in. 

"Hello, Luke" she said and Luke did a slight wave with the hand that wasn't holding the ice pack. The woman was still wearing her black pantsuit with her hair back in a neat bun and she offered him a smile before sitting at the slippery chair next to the bed "How are you feeling?" 

Luke stopped himself from rolling his eyes, because clearly he wasn't fine, but he instead lazily gestured to his face and the woman just nodded. 

"Would you like to talk about what happened now or I could come back later?" 

Luke just wanted this to be over with so he mumbled a "now". 

"Well Calum didn't say much to me so would you care to tell me what happened?" 

"I said something stupid so Calum hit me" Luke shrugged. It was basically the truth. 

"We saw the tape from the cafeteria and you were clearly speaking to Matthew Sullivan so Calum attacking you seemed to stem from something else. Has something been going on with you two for a while?" 

"No" Luke lied and he could just feel her staring at him. 

"No matter what you said there was no excuse for Calum to do what he did. You did nothing wrong" 

"Yes I did" Luke mumbled because he knew he had gone too far about talking about Michael when clearly it upset Calum. He should have stopped talking about it or not even started. 

"We know how Calum is, Luke and I can assure you that there will be consequences for him" 

"Where is he?" Luke knew he should have been mad at Calum and not cared where Calum was but he was curious and he was also scared that they sent him up to Solitary like Jenson. 

"He's in his own separate room now and you will see him around but I advise you to not speak to him and I told him the same" 

"So he...he won't be my roommate anymore?" Luke was shocked at how sad he was about that and the thought of being all by himself in his room scared him honestly. 

"He will not, Luke" 

"But he's my friend" Luke shot out and he had no idea why he was acting like this. 

"Well according to him you aren't friends" she said with no remorse what so ever and Luke felt himself sinking down in the bed. Luke had lost Calum as a friend; he had fucked up and he was beginning to get scared that he would lose Sullivan and Taran too. 

Now that he wasn't seeing Michael anymore his friends were all he had and Luke was terrified of the person he would become if he didn't have them anymore. 

"Your session with Dr. McGuire will be starting soon so you can go back to your room if you'd like" was the last thing Luke heard before he started to zone out looking at the floor and Luke was just hating himself for messing things up with Calum. 

He was the only one with the physical injuries but Luke still felt like it was completely his fault. 

 

*

The session with Franco went just the way that Luke imagined it would with the man asking him to explain what happened and Luke just told him the same thing that he told Mrs. Crabtree even though he trusted Franco more than Mrs. Crabtree. 

It was just that he didn't feel like talking and luckily after 15 minutes of Franco asking him about it he could tell how much Luke didn't want to talk about it and he switched the topic to something else. 

Luke left the room with Franco walking him to the door and he turned around to see the man actually really looking worried about him. He had such kind eyes and Luke understood a bit more how horrible it must be for Sullivan to be so in love with the man but not be able to have him. Luke also understood because he was going through a similar thing with Michael. 

"Are you sure you're okay, Luke?" Franco asked softly as he leaned his shoulder against the doorway while Luke was in the hall. 

"Yeah. I'm good" which was probably the biggest lie Luke had ever told. 

"Okay" Franco said with a deep sigh and Luke knew the man didn't believe him "I'll see you tomorrow, Luke" 

Luke nodded once more before he was walking down the hallway on his way back to his empty room. He knew it would feel so weird without Calum there and he wasn't sure how well he would be able to sleep tonight. 

As he was getting to the stairs he looked back and saw the hall that they went down last night. That was the 2nd time that he regretted leaving his room late at night and Luke just wished so badly that he wouldn't had went with the boys to that room. 

Luke was now upstairs and basically dragging himself to his room. He knew he would probably just turn in early tonight and he would probably take a few naps before then. He just felt so exhausted with how much his brain has been running today. It was just non stop bad thoughts and sometimes it made Luke sick to his stomach. He felt like such a failure. 

He stopped dead in his tracks in the doorway when he realized that he wasn't alone. 

"Oh my god, Luke" the boy cried out before practically jumping off the bed and running up to Luke. 

The boy wrapped his arms around Luke's shoulder and Luke was so desperate for comfort so he held him back just as tight as he dug his face into his neck. 

Luke sniffled as all of his emotions caught up to him and he started to break down in Sullivan's arms. 

Sullivan was quick to put one of his hands in the back of Luke's hair as he gently rubbed his hands in it. 

"You didn't do anything wrong, Luke" Sullivan said quietly and Luke sucked in a breathe as more tears went down his cheeks. 

Luke just shook his head because he knew his voice would tremble. 

"Come here" Sullivan said before he was briefly letting Luke go to guide him towards the bed. 

Luke sat on the edge of his bed facing Calum's empty bed and he was glad when Sullivan sat right next to him and laced their fingers together. 

"Calum has a very short temper; always has and it's not your fault that he snapped like that" Sullivan let out a breath and looked down to the floor "if it's anyone's fault it's mine for asking so many questions about Michael in front of Calum" 

"No" Luke said softly as he squeezed the boys hand. He didn't want Sullivan feeling bad about this "You were just curious. Don't blame yourself" 

Sullivan did a sad smile as he still wasn't looking at Luke then he was sniffling and looking downright miserable as his lip started to tremble. 

"I also think that Calum might be mad because somewhere in the back of his mind he does believe you and he...he's upset because he can't see Michael and you can" 

Luke felt his stomach drop at that. He hadn't thought about it like that and he almost wanted to find Calum and ask the boy to punch him more because he knew he deserved it. 

"Fuck" Luke put his face in his hands and leaned forward and he felt Sullivan rubbing a hand on his back "I wish you guys could see Michael; I really do. You guys deserve to see him more than I do" 

 

Luke felt Sullivan's hand on his back slow down then stop completely and he knew that Sullivan was feeling sad again. 

“We don't have to talk about it” Luke said rubbing his hands over his face then sitting up and Sullivan was now looking forward like he was zoning out. 

“Do you wanna go to The Eden?" Sullivan asked while it still looked like he was zoning out. 

"Yeah; we can go" Luke said already starting to stand up because he was tired of sitting in this room and feeling sad. 

Sullivan was standing up too and as they were walking out of the room Luke was a bit alarmed when Sullivan didn't grab his hand. Instead the boy was sniffling and moving his glasses down so that he could wipe at his eyes with his fist. 

Luke could tell how much talking about Michael hurt Sullivan and Luke knew he wouldn't bring the boy up again but for some reason he felt like Sullivan would want to talk about him again. 

As they began walking down the stairs he felt Sullivan leaning into him but and staying close to him as they got to the bottom. 

It was when Luke finally looked away from Sullivan that he saw the back of Franco standing by the door as he was slipping on a black raincoat. Luke looked out the window and realized that it was down pouring outside but it fit well with how he was feeling. 

They were getting close to Franco and Sullivan still hadn't looked up from the floor. 

Luke watched as Franco must have sensed a presence behind him then he was turning his head around and smiling a bit at Luke before he was turning his whole body around. 

"Hello, Luke" Franco said happily then Luke watched as the man took a double look at Sullivan and then he was tilting his head down and to the side a bit, like he was trying to see Sullivan's expression as the boy stared down at the floor. 

“Hi” Luke said quietly. 

Franco was wearing his glasses again and Luke thought he looked even more handsome with them on. 

Sullivan was then looking up and Luke felt like he was interrupting something as he watched the man and boy look at each other. 

"You okay?" Franco asked Sullivan and Luke looked over to see Sullivan's eyes still beat red from crying. The way the man spoke to him made it seem like they had been friends for years and there was no doubt that they had some sort of connection. 

"Yeah" Sullivan said after he hesitated and he started nodding his head. 

Even someone who didn't even know Sullivan could tell he was lying from his red eyes to the way his shoulders were slumping. 

Luke watched as Franco pressed his lips together before briefly looking down the hall then back to Sullivan. 

"Have you been crying?" Franco used that same caring tone but there was also a slightly hidden tone he was using that made it seem like he was warning Sullivan not to lie to him. 

"No" Sullivan answered defensively as he shook his head "I'm just getting sick" 

"Matt" Franco said in a warning tone and Luke was quickly looking to Sullivan to gage his reaction. 

Sullivan looked a bit irritated now as he let out a breath and shook his head as he looked away from the man. 

"Let's go, Luke" Sullivan said harshly before grabbing his hand and Luke knew he didn't have a say in the matter before Sullivan was pulling him away. 

As he was getting pulled down the hallway Luke almost didn't even want to look back at Franco but he found himself doing it anyways. 

Franco was still standing near the doorway with his hands in his jacket pockets and a saddened look on his face as he was staring straight at Sullivan still. 

Franco noticed Luke looking at him and took a double look at the boy before he seemed like he was shaking something off and then he was looking away and wiping a hand over his mouth before turning around and walking out the door. 

Luke kept his eyes on the man until they were turning a corner and Luke swears he seen something in Franco's eyes as he was watching Sullivan walk away; it was a look that seemed like it went a lot further than just a little crush and Luke wished that Sullivan could have seen it himself.


	10. Chapter 10

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> PLEASE READ: TW: death, scary situation and suicide. Umm this chapter is very dark. When I wrote this I wasn't picturing Michael in the really dark scene but instead I just acted like it was an original character because I didn't want to think of Michael in that way. I feel like I'm just scaring you guys the more I talk about it lmao so here it is

One morning began with someone coming into his room while Luke was just lying in bed facing the window and Luke was instantly surprised when he saw it was Taran. 

For the past few days since Calum got moved to his own room Sullivan had been practically glued to Luke's side and Luke was so glad for it. They spent a lot of time just going to the art room and The Eden and sometimes they would even go watch TV in the rec room even though Sullivan claimed that he hated TV. 

Taran on the other hand hadn't said a word to Luke since that night after everything went to hell with Calum and Luke missed Calum a lot but he missed Taran too so he was happy to see Taran standing in the doorway of his room. 

"Can I talk to you?" Taran asked quietly as he put his thumb towards his own room and Luke wondered why they couldn't just talk here but he didn't ask and just stood up. 

Luke followed Taran to the room next door and he smiled when he saw a bunch of colorful pictures on one side of the room that he knew belonged to Sullivan but he saw the boy nowhere in sight. 

"Sullivan's at therapy" Taran said as he sat at the bed that was perfectly made while Sullivan's bed looked like a hurricane ripped through it.

Luke sat on Sullivan's bed then let out a breath as he looked at Taran across from him who had his hands clasped as he looked at them. 

"I'm sorry I've been ignoring you" Taran said softly before he was making eye contact with Luke "It's just that I'm trying to be there for Calum and it's kind hard to hang out with both of you when you guys aren't allowed to be around each other, you know?" 

"I know. It's okay" Luke said before he was reaching forward and patting Taran's knee and the boy smiled. Luke could tell how sorry he really was "Umm...how is Calum?" 

Taran widened his eyes a bit as he looked out the window then he was taking a deep breath. 

"Not good honestly. They keep a very close eye on him in that single room so he hasn't been able to get his pills as often" 

"Shit" Luke felt bad because it seemed like it was his fault. He knew how much Calum depended on those pills and he wished that he could help Calum somehow. 

"Yeah" Taran mumbled. 

As they sat there in silence Luke realized that this was his chance to find out more about Michael while he was still alive. There was so much he wanted to know and he knew he could ask Sullivan but talking about Michael always made him so sad so he never did. They never talked about Michael unless Sullivan asked about him. 

"Why was Michael here?" Luke blurted out before he lost the guts to. 

Taran was then taking a double look at him and biting at his lip. 

"He never told any of us how he got here but he told us what made him do the thing that brought him here" Taran spoke like it was painful to talk about "It was awful; what happened to him" 

"What happened?" Luke whispered. 

"Both of his parents were murdered and he seen the whole thing"

Luke felt like he couldn't breath at that. Sure his own parents were worthless but seeing anyone be murdered would be enough to send anyone off the edge. 

"He was really close with them too and Michael-" Taran paused to let out a chuckle "He wasn't like the rest of us here. He was popular in school, his family was fucking loaded and he just had a really perfect life. Then that all got taken away from him and he just...lost it; any person would" 

"Jesus" Luke said under his breath and he wish he could have known the happy and full of life Michael; the Michael before life ruined him and took everything away from him. 

"And despite what you saw in that video Michael always seemed really happy. He was always the one who would cheer one of us up if we were sad...that was just how he was" Taran stood up to look out the window "He was particularly close to Sullivan though. Sullivan used to do this thing where sometimes his hands would start shaking and Michael would hold his hand and he'd just stop. You know, I tried to be that person for Sullivan after Michael died but I just didn't have that same affect on him that Michael did"

Suddenly Taran was looking past Luke at the pictures on the wall and Luke tried to look where he was looking. 

He glanced over some pictures of flowers that Sullivan drew or just colored in and then there were pictures of people that Luke guessed were patients. He spotted a picture of himself and he smiled but it died down when he saw the photo that Taran was looking at. 

Luke stood up to get a better view and then he could feel tears swelling up in his eyes as he looked at the drawn picture of Michael where he had a huge smile on his face. 

"I was with Sullivan when he drew that picture of Michael. Michael had to smile like that for 15 minutes and he complained about his cheeks hurting for the entire day" Taran let out a laugh and Luke felt himself smiling. 

Luke started to trace over Michael's face with just the tips of his fingers and he wished that Michael was really here. 

He sniffled again and this time he couldn't stop himself from letting out a small sob before covering his mouth with his other hand. 

"You really do see him...don't you?" Taran whispered and all Luke did was nod as he continued to quietly cry as he looked down at the floor. 

"I m-miss him so fucking much" this time Luke couldn't quietly cry any longer and he felt himself walking backwards a little and then sitting on the edge of Sullivan's bed before leaning over and putting his hands in his hands. 

Luke had been crying constantly lately and it felt like his life was never going to be better; like he would never be happy again. 

Even as Taran came over and put a hand on his back he appreciated the gesture but he knew the only comfort that would help him would be from Michael. 

*

It was a habit, even after Calum was gone, for Luke to wake up at 3am but now he woke up to an empty room to see no one leaving instead of seeing Calum quietly walking over to the door. 

Luke let out a breath and put his arms behind his head as he looked up at the ceiling and he could see the reflections of the water outside on the plain white paint. 

He was still thinking about Michael non stop but he was also thinking about Franco and Sullivan. Luke couldn't get the way that the older man looked at his friend out of his head and how it seemed like he wanted more with Sullivan than he has. Luke wished there was some way that they could be together because he knows that they deserve that; they deserve each other. Luke's knows how hard it is to have that strong of a connection with someone. He knows because he had never even found it before he met Michael. 

It's terrifying him because he knows that Michael and him can never be together but he still finds himself imagining what it would be like to fall asleep with Michael every night, to go on cute dates with him and tell him all of his secrets. 

Luke started to get emotional even thinking about not ever being able to have those things and he felt himself crying for what seemed like the hundredth time just this week. Life without Michael was exhausting on his heart and Luke honestly didn't know how much more he could take. He knew that he was getting bad again and he knew he couldn't stop it. 

Luke jumped, almost dozing off, when he heard whispers and footsteps out his door. His first thought was that it could be Calum visiting Sullivan and Taran but Luke knew that wouldn't make sense because he got to see them all day. 

When the whispers got a bit closer Luke recognized the voice instantly and sprang out of his bed, slipping on his shoes before hurrying to the door. 

The sight before him was just as expected and he bit at his lip when Taran and Sullivan both stopped in the middle of the hallway to look back at him with surprised faces but then Sullivan's turned into a smile. The boy was always so happy to see Luke no matter what and it always made Luke feel happy. 

"Go back to bed, Luke" Taran spoke sternly, despite their friendly talk earlier in the day and Luke was scared that the boy was upset with him; still he pushed his limits when he really should have just went back in his room. 

"Where...where are you guys going?" Luke said bringing his shirt more up his shoulder after it fell from his tossing and turning in his bed. 

"Down to see Carver" Sullivan said and the boys words had Taran shooting him a dirty look like he was upset at him for telling Luke that. 

Luke thought back to the other two times that he left his room at 3am and thought about how much he regretted going. He also thought about the basement and how much it terrified him but he still felt himself wanting to go down there with them. His thoughts had been so consumed by Michael lately and Luke just wanted to stop thinking about him. 

"Can I come?" 

Luke watched as Taran let out a breath and Sullivan was already nodding but Luke wanted to wait for Taran to agree too. He felt like Taran really didn't want him to go and that made him feel left out. 

"I don't think that's a good idea, Luke" Taran spoke and he seemed so much older than in this moment "Calum told me what happened last time you went down there" 

Luke got a sick feeling, still remembering Timmy leaping towards him from behind the cell and how he felt like he was actually going to die. Luke knew he never wanted to go down there again and promised himself he wouldn't but Sullivan was standing there, softly smiling and waiting for Luke to respond and the boy really was Luke's weak spot. 

Not to mention that he just really wanted to hang out with both of the boys again. Ever since the Calum incident it had only been Luke and Sullivan and although Luke loved being with Sullivan he really missed Taran too. 

"I'll be fine. I promise" Luke shot out and Taran just continued to look at Luke under the dim hallway lights before he was looking to the side then making a "come here" gesture with his hand and Luke was quick to catch up to them. 

Luke smiled wide and he chuckled when Sullivan playfully clapped, happy that Luke was going with them. Luke thought that the act was cute but it was also strange, even for Sullivan. He had this vibe about him that made it seem like he was a five year old in a 19 year old's body but Luke didn't think anything more of Sullivan's overly excited actions. 

He gently nudged at Sullivan's shoulder when they started walking down the stairs and the boy just smiled wide before intertwining their hands and Luke was glad that Sullivan knew exactly what he wanted. It was a habit now for Luke and Sullivan to hold hands in the hallways and Luke felt weird if they didn't. 

When they got to the hallway with the glass doors that were locked Luke watched as Taran picked the doorknob just like he had seen Calum do a couple of times and he wondered if Calum was the one to teach Taran to do that or if it was the other way around. 

The new hallway smelled just like Luke remembered from before and the bad memories started to come back as they got closer to the basement door but he just leaned into Sullivan and held his hand tighter for his own comfort. It made him feel even better when Sullivan rubbed his thumb against his hand. 

"They lock Calum's door at night so we've been coming to see Carver for him" Taran said but Luke wasn't looking at him, too focused on the smaller hallway then he knew led to the basement door. 

It seemed like time sped up as they approached the door and before Luke even realized it Taran was opening the door and he could see the wooden steps and dim lights that led down to the dirt floor. 

"Luke? You gonna be okay?" Sullivan's voice seemed so far away with how deep Luke was in his own thoughts but he just nodded, even though he wasn't sure that was true but he couldn't go back now; especially after he practically begged Taran to go down there with them. 

Taran was in the front so he was the one who began going down the stairs first and Luke could smell the musty smell that filled the whole basement and it was starting to make him sick.

He watched as Sullivan looked back at him once more before he was taking a step and Luke was right behind him, still holding the boy's hand like he was dangling off of a cliff. 

As Luke started to walk down the steps too he tried not to think about what happened the last time he was down here. 

He was alone last time though and now he had Sullivan right in front of him as they were almost pressed against each other and Luke took a deep breath, feeling better after reminding himself that he had someone with him this time. 

When they made it to the end of the stairs Luke looked back up them at the closed door and then looked forward again to see Taran already walking straight down the hallway. 

"Wait" Luke said quietly but it was loud enough for both of the boys to look back at him. 

Luke looked to the right and remembered the secret hallway that Calum had taken him down so they could avoid seeing Timmy. 

"Let's go this way" Luke said pointing to the area but the boys gave him confused look so Luke walked around Sullivan and behind the stairs a bit to see the other hallway. Sullivan got closer to him then looked surprised when he saw the hidden hallway. 

"Hmm...I didn't even know this was here" Sullivan said and Taran shifted in the middle of the hallway a few more seconds before he was coming closer to them but Luke let Taran lead the way again; feeling safer when the oldest boy was in the lead. 

Sullivan didn't grab his hand again but he pressed himself against Luke's side again and it was enough to keep Luke as calm as he could be right now.

Luke realized he felt so much better after he realized he didn't have to see Timmy and felt himself looking around like Sullivan was. Taran on the other hand was just looking straight ahead, seeming like he didn't want to be down here anymore than Luke but he seemed more upset than nervous. 

They were getting to a corner in the hall and Luke knew that right around the corner was where Carver's cell was. Luke started to wonder if Sullivan and Taran were best friends with Carver like Calum still seems to be. 

When they got around the corner Taran was already standing in front of the cell and Luke felt his stomach begin to hurt as he looked at Carver in the cell. He could see the boy curled up in the corner on a small cot and on the floor next to it was a bowl with water in it. Luke was just disgusted at how the people here treated him like he was some dog; hell, some dogs even had it better than Carver did. 

Luke knew that Carver didn't want anything to change, that he wanted to stay down here, but Luke felt the urge to alert someone of this and get this whole place shut down. 

"Carver" Taran said as he tapped at the bars on the cell to get the boys attention. 

Sullivan and Luke were now pressed against the cell too and Luke watched as the boy on the cot began to stir then he was turning around to face them as he blinked his eyes open. 

"We brought you some food, bud" Taran spoke and that had Carver getting up from his bed and rushing over to them like he hadn't ate in days. Luke became more and more confused as to why Carver would ever want to continue to stay down here. 

Luke watched as Taran was handing over a few granola bars between the bars and Luke felt the sad sick feeling in his stomach as Carver hurried up to open one of them and practically inhaled the whole thing. 

Carver had dirt all over his clothes and some on his face as his shirt and pants hung loosely like it was obvious that he had lost a tremendous amount of weight since being put down here. Luke wished he would have thought to bring some food down for the boy as well. 

Luke looked down as he felt Sullivan's hand briefly touch his hip on his way down to digging at his own pocket and in the dim lighting above them that kept flickering and making a buzzing noise Luke watched him take out a few bags of cookies. They looked to be chocolate chip but Luke knew that Carver wouldn't care what kind they were since he was obviously starving. 

Sullivan handed his cookies in between the bars too and Carver was doing a soft smile before taking them and stuffing them in his mouth before he was even finished chewing the granola bars. 

"Didn't you bring some fruit snacks too?" Taran reminded Sullivan the Sullivan was nodding and digging through his other pocket, furthest away from Luke. 

As he was bringing them out of his pocket Luke watched as a pair of thin white headphones fell out of his pocket and onto the dirt floor and Luke was going to pick them up but then a large rat appeared out of nowhere and it had Sullivan gasping and stepping away from the rat in fear. 

Luke watched as the quick moving rat took the headphones within his mouth and Luke couldn't help but let out a chuckle. 

"That bastard took my headphones!" Sullivan was clearly upset "That was my last pair" 

Luke was quick to follow the rat, putting Sullivan's needs over his own fears. 

"I'll get them" Luke said over his shoulder and he could see the rat only a few inches away from him. 

Just as he got around the corner he got close enough to step on the rat's tail and the rodent was letting out some sort of squeal before dropping the headphones. 

Luke bent over to pick them up and looked around the corner to see Taran talking to Carver but Sullivan seemed to still be sulking about his missing headphones. Luke fondly smiled at the boy before taking step towards them again but something stopped him. 

He froze and looked back behind him at the long hall. It was a dead end and at the very end was a big metal door with rust all around it like it hadn't been opened in years, maybe decades. 

Luke hated this characteristic about himself, the nosey one that always had to learn about new things and know about everyone's life. This time it was different though. This time it felt like someone was physically pulling at him, trying to get him to go towards the metal door and Luke listened. 

He moved his feet as if someone was moving them for him and soon he was standing right in front of the door with Taran and Sullivan's voices even further away now, barely to be heard. 

He put his palm up to the door and instantly took his hand back at how cold it was. It felt like he just put his hand on ice.

He wanted to turn back, he really did, because his fear was starting to come back while being so far away from the boys but he was then moving his hand to the silver colored door knob and pushing the door open with strength he didn't even know he had. 

He felt a shiver run through his whole body as he stared at the room. It had desks randomly placed and cob webs could be seen on all of them. Luke guessed it was some sort of classroom back when the whole institution used to be down here. 

Luke felt awful as he stood in this room and he had no idea why. He just knew he had to leave but right as he was turning around the door was slamming shut and Luke widened his eyes as he felt himself being unable to breathe. 

After he came to his senses a little he threw himself up against the door and rattled the doorknob but it seemed to be locked from the outside even though the lock was on the inside. 

Out of pure fear the first thing Luke did was scream at the top of his lungs until his throat was sore but it felt useless. Taran and Sullivan were in a whole other hall and they wouldn't hear him; Luke just hoped they would come looking for him soon.

As he was facing the door and beating on it with all of his strength he started to hear voices behind him and then screaming but Luke forced himself to block them out; he knew he was just imagining them and making himself even more scared. 

But it was when he heard a certain name being yelled did he turn around. 

Luke held his breath as he looked away from the door and his fists and arms were throbbing from hitting the door. 

The name "Michael" echoed though the room once again and it was followed by more screaming that was much more clear this time. It was a male that kept screaming Michael's name over and over and Luke was shaking all over as he backed up against the wall. 

When the room's lights started to flicker above him Luke felt Michael's presence everywhere but he knew the boy would never scare him like this so he had no idea what was going on but the screaming continued and Luke felt like he was going to stop breathing at any second. 

The lights flickered a few more times before the whole room was being clothed in darkness and Luke let out a cry as he he couldn't even see his own hand in his face. 

"Please. Make it stop" Luke cried, not even knowing who he was talking to but he honestly hoped that Michael could somehow hear him. 

Luke felt a whirl of wind hit his face so cold that it felt like he was in a below zero blizzard and there was one more long scream echoing the room before the lights were coming on all at once. 

Luke wished to every God that they wouldn't had come back on though. 

It was when he realized that this is where he did it; this is where he ended his life. 

"No no no" Luke whispered as he put his hand over his mouth and soon his stomach was hurting so bad that he felt like he had come down with the flu and he held his stomach as he started to dry heave with his eyes clenched shut. 

 

He gagged a few more times but nothing was coming up and he was now bent over in pain with how bad his stomach hurt. It felt like he had pulled a muscle in his stomach. 

"Michael" Luke whimpered out and then he started to suck in breaths and his crying got even worse as he sunk down to the floor. 

He pinched his eyes shut then opened them and did that a few times just hoping what he was seeing would go away but it didn't and Luke felt that sickly feeling all through his body. His head was pounding and it felt like the walls around him were moving with how dizzy he was. 

He couldn't believe his eyes as he looked at Michael's body hanging from the ceiling in the corner with a rope tight around his neck. The figure was flickering like a TV station that had bad signal and Luke knew he was seeing things because Michael had died three years ago and the body hanging from the ceiling looked like it had just been breathing a few minutes ago. 

Michael's body in front of him still had a red face and he was swinging back in forth like he had just been struggling to get out of the rope, maybe regretting his decision, right before he died. 

His blond hair was matted to his forehead and his eyelids looked black like tiredness was still showing on his face as his head was pointed to the floor and the rope created a red ring around his neck. 

Luke let out another choked sob and put his face in his hands as he heard the screams again and he doesn't even know why he looked at Michael's body for as long as he did. 

He was just so confused as to what was going on and why he was seeing Michael's body as if the boy had just killed himself. 

Suddenly the lights were flickering again and Luke shook even more, afraid of what he was going to see next but he looked up to see the dead body of Michael being covered in black smoke and he swore he stopped breathing completely when Michael was walking out of the smoke wearing his suit with his black hair that Luke was so familiar with. 

Luke was frozen in place as Michael walked towards him and he hadn't seen the boy in so long but as he got closer Luke felt that familiar warmness in his chest that only Michael could cause him. 

Michael looked possibly the saddest that Luke had ever seen him as he kneeled down to be right in front of Luke and Luke seemed to be able to move again as he jumped forward and wrapped his arms around Michael's shoulder. Michael held him back instantly and sat back to bring Luke onto his lap. 

The boys touch made Luke feel more alive than he has in weeks and he was sobbing into the side of Michael's hair as the boy rubbed at his back. 

"Why-" Luke hiccuped "Why did you show me that?" he was making a whining noise, needing to know why he would ever have to see something as horrible as what he had just witnessed. 

"I didn't" Michael's words were cold as always but the way he was holding Luke and rubbing his back was so soft and loving "You see things that other people can't see. Fuck, I didn't ever want you to see that" 

"You're so beautiful, Michael. Why did-" Luke cut himself off as he started to sob again but Michael knew what he was going to ask. 

"Don't cry for me, Luke. I'm not worth it" his voice was harsh again but he was rubbing his face against Luke's hair. 

 

“Yes you are, Michael and-” 

Suddenly Michael's eyes were going black as he gripped Luke’s jaw to turn his head and Luke had never seen him so angry. 

“Who did this to you?” Michael's voice was stern but his touch was soft as he rubbed right below Luke’s bruised eye. 

“Calum” Luke choked out “but please don't hurt him” he was quick to add because he knew how protective Michael was and he thought back to how Michael responded when some kid only said cruel words to Sullivan. Calum had literally physically harmed Luke so Luke was afraid of how he would react. 

“Why did he do this?” Michael said softly as his eyes turned green again. 

“Because I said that I can see you; he doesn't believe me” at that Michael looked away and shook his head “why didn't you tell me that you used to live here?” 

“I didn't see the point” Michael said as he raised his eyebrows. 

Luke looked back to where he had seen Michael's body hanging from the ceiling and he felt himself breaking down again. 

“Michael” he whimpered as he tried to turn away but Michael placed both of his hands on Luke’s cheek “I'm sorry you were so sad. I wish that I could have been here to help you” 

“There’s no use in crying over something that can't be changed” Michael ran the back of his fingers over Luke's cheek and Luke closed his eyes “ I made the choice to end my life and so did you: only difference is that you got given a second chance and I didn't” 

“I want you to take me” Luke said as he thought about Michael leaving him again “I don't want my second chance; I just want to be with you” 

“Luke” Michael looked down at the floor and closed his eyes. 

“Kill me. I know you can” Luke said as he grabbed a hold of Michael's jacket; wanting the boy to know that he desperately just wanted to be with Michael. He didn't care if being with him costed him his life. 

“Luke fucking stop” 

Luke expected to see Michael's eyes turn black with how angry his words were and how he was tending his jaw but instead Luke saw a single golden tear running down the demons cheek and Luke gasped. 

Luke reached out to wipe it away and Michael was flinching away from the touch at first but Luke reached out again to touch him and this time Michael let out a growl before leaning into the touch and finally looking up at Luke. 

“You don't want to be with me” 

“Yes I do” Luke was quick to say and he leaned forward to press himself against Michael’s chest, not knowing when he would have the boy like this again “Please, Michael” 

Michael wrapped his arms around Luke and held him tight for only a few seconds before he was pulling away and Luke was left sitting alone on the floor while Michael was looking down at him. 

“Don't leave again” Luke sobbed and Michael was clenching his eyes shut like he was trying so hard to keep his emotions trapped. 

When Michael looked up he was looking past Luke and at the door and quickly waving a hand in the direction of it and instantly Luke could hear Taran and Sullivan screaming on the other side of it. 

“Luke! Luke can you hear us!” Sullivan was yelling and then Michael was waving his hand again and then the door was swinging open so fast that Luke felt wind on his face. 

Sullivan and Taran were stumbling into the room and their faces were beat red like they had been yelling for Luke for a while. 

“Fuck, Luke” Sullivan cried out before he was dropping to the floor and bringing Luke to his chest. 

Luke hugged the boy back but he kept his eyes on Michael who was still standing above him. 

Michael was looking at Sullivan though as he tensed his jaw and Luke wanted to know what he was thinking so badly. 

“Are you okay?” Sullivan backed up a bit and put one hand in Luke’ hair as the other was on his shoulder “We heard you screaming but we couldn't get in. What happened?” 

Luke finally looked over to Taran to see the boy looking just as worried but he was standing above them. Only a few inches away from Michael and Luke watched as Michael eyed Taran but in a way less loving way than he was looking at Sullivan. 

It then occurred to Luke that Sullivan had asked him a question but there was only one thing that he knew he needed to say. 

“Michael's here” 

Sullivan's eyes widened and Luke looked back to see Michael letting out a huff and putting his hands in his pants pockets. 

“Where? Where is he?” Sullivan whispered and Luke took Sullivan's hands and helped the boy to stand up with him. 

Michael was watching them cautiously like he felt like he wanted to leave but then Luke was walking Sullivan to stand right in front of Michael and instead of Michael looking nervous he only had eyes for Sullivan as the boy was only a few inches away from him. 

“He's right here” Luke said softly to Sullivan “right in front of you” 

“Ask him-” Sullivan hiccuped and then rubbed at his eye “Ask him what we did for the Fourth of July the first year I was here. Only he would know that” 

Luke looked to Michael and Michael put his thumb and pointer finger in his eyes before he was taking a deep breath. 

“We snuck out to the tennis courts” Michael said looking at Sullivan and speaking to him as if the boy could hear him “and you said that when you were younger you dreamed of being a pro tennis player then you told me that I was your best friend" 

 

Luke did a watery smile at Michael before looking to Sullivan. 

“He said that you guys snuck out to the tennis courts and...you said that when you were younger you dreamed of being a pro tennis player; then you told Michael that he was you'd best friend” 

Sullivan was erupting into tears and burying his face in his hand by the time that Luke was finished and Luke was about to reach forward and comfort him but he stared in awe as he saw Michael reaching forward instead. 

“Mikey” Sullivan whimpered out and Luke watched as Michael was moving his hand onto Sullivan's head to rub at his hair. 

“He’s putting his hand in your hair” Luke felt the need to tell Sullivan and it caused the boy to suck in a few breaths then lift his head and Michael's hand followed the movement. 

“That's w-what he always did when I was crying” Sullivan’s words had Luke starting to cry too and it was then that he remembered that Taran was in the room too. 

Taran was a bit further away now as if he had backed away and he was biting at his lip as he looked all around where Sullivan was standing as if he was trying desperately to see Michael. 

As Sullivan continued to cry Luke could see Michael beginning to break down again and he watched as Michael took his hand away from Sullivan's hair to look away but Luke could see him wiping at his own eye. 

“Michael” Luke said, hoping that the boy would stay. 

Michael just took a few steps towards Luke before he was kissing Luke's forehead and keeping his lips there for a few seconds and Luke was so shocked at the gentle gesture but he closed his eyes and never wanted it to end. 

When the touch was gone Luke opened his eyes to see Michael stepping away from him and then Michael was grabbing Luke’s shirt and tugging him to stand next to Sullivan.

At first Luke didn't understand why Michael did that but then he saw the soft caring way that Michael looked at the crying boy and remember how protective Michael was in that video. 

Luke tightly hugged Sullivan and he watched as Michael did a quick nod and then he pressed a kiss to the other side of Sullivan's head. 

Luke wanted to beg him to stay but he felt mute as he watched Michael turn around and then he was rubbing at Taran's arm before he was disappearing into thin air. 

Luke broke down as soon as he was gone and he felt Sullivan sobbing into his neck. 

Everything that had happened felt so final and it was making Luke sick to his stomach again.


	11. Chapter 11

Things with Taran and Sullivan were tense and just strange after they realized that he really could see Michael. Sullivan seemed quiet and Taran seemed distant and Luke didn't know if they were just still processing the fact that he could see dead people or if they were upset with him; Luke hoped it was just the first one. 

Later that night after the incident in the basement Sullivan had been glued to Luke's side and Luke had never seen him look so miserable. Luke was pretty sure that Sullivan just wished that he could have physically saw him and was maybe even a little upset that Luke could see him and he couldn't; Luke wouldn't blame either of them for being mad at him for that ;because he wished that they could see Michael too. 

The next day as Luke laid on his stomach on his bed so that he could see out the window he was wondering if Taran or Sullivan had told Calum about last night but with how stubborn Calum was Luke knew the boy still wouldn't believe that Luke actually saw a dead person. 

It had felt like months since Luke last saw Calum and despite how the boy had treated him Luke was starting to miss him; he missed having a roommate too and he wondered how much longer until a new person would be assigned to his room. 

Earlier in the day today Luke had been in The Eden with only Sullivan and the boy had admitted a few things to him and told the truth about a couple lies he has told. Luke didn't know why the boy was suddenly being honest but Luke didn't want to question it. 

While in the room surrounded by plants Sullivan had told Luke that he made up the whole thing about cutting off his father's hands. Luke was in awe at first that Sullivan would tell such a huge lie to him but later he realized that he was just relieved that his friend wasn't a complete psycho; yet again lying about cutting off your father's hand wasn't much better than actually doing it. 

Sullivan had also told Luke that he wasn't a lifer and that he could be released at any time. Luke's immediate response to that was that he was happy for the boy; happy that he still had a chance to live a normal life outside of this place. 

He also thought about the fact that Sullivan had a chance to actually be with Franco and have a real relationship with the man. Luke hoped that Sullivan could have that and he had a feeling that was the main thing on Sullivans mind. 

After all of that thought came sadness. Luke knew that he wouldn't be in here for life or anything but he knew he wouldn't get out as soon as Sullivan and that meant that he would have to be here without the boy. He would still have Taran but he knew that he didn't have that same bond with   
Taran that he did with Sullivan. He hoped that him and Calum could patch things up soon but he knew he shouldn't hold his breath. 

He was thinking about all of that while he was looking out the window and he wished that he had Sullivan with him now, not knowing how much longer the boy would be around. Luke hoped that him and Sullivan could somehow still be friends in the outside world.

It was getting late at night now and Luke should have been asleep hours ago but he felt himself thinking about Jenson; the boy on the top floor who claimed to be tortured. Luke still remembers that Calum took him up there and it had been the first time they really spoke and Luke missed that.

For some reason Luke decided right then that he would go see Jenson again, alone, after 3am because he felt himself getting curious to see if the boy really did freak out at night like everyone said he did. 

*

As it was just turning 3:30am and Luke was sure he wouldn't see Sullivan and Taran in the hallway he was making his way down the stairs.He just didn't want to run into the other two boys and have them wonder where he was going. He wanted to be by himself for once while being here and he was proud of himself for being able to walk these halls on his own at night. 

As he was making his way towards the other set of stairs that went in a tunnel all the way up to the top floor he realized why he was really going up to see Jenson. 

It was because seeing someone else in pain would help himself forget about his own pain. Luke hated himself for thinking like this and he wished he could just make himself turn around but he couldn't. He wanted to see Jensen freaking out in his padded room because it would make himself forget about how fucked up his own head was. 

He was in love with a dead boy, a demon for fucks sake, and Luke knew he was losing it...he knew he had lost it a long time ago when he started caring about the next time he was going to see Michael. 

Sometimes Luke swore he could see Michael wanting to be good but the boy would always leave before anything else happened. It was like Michael was fighting the urge to be good and Luke wished that the boy would just let it happen. Luke wondered what would happen if he did turn good but he figured the consequences would be bad considering that Michael was fighting so hard against it. 

He got to the closed in stairwell and he opened the door with ease as he stepped inside and began the journey upwards. It felt like a journey to Luke because it always took so long to get all the way up there. 

His footsteps echoed and he kind of wished Calum was here with him again. 

Luke looked up at the white ceiling that went all the way up to the top of the stairs tunnel and he knew he was getting to the top floor soon and he started to hate himself even more the closer he got. He couldn’t believe that he had to see a boy in pain to make himself better and Luke honestly wasn’t even sure that it would really make him feel better but he was so desperate. 

It felt like he had been sad every time in between when he got to see Michael but recently he had been sad even when Michael was around because he knew the boy would leave him soon anyways. Nothing about Michael was permanent and it scared Luke to death. 

When he had told Michael that he wanted the boy to kill him he had wanted to die even more than he did when he was in his bedroom that night with the pills in his hands. He had wanted death so bad because he didn’t even want to live if he didn’t get to see Michael. 

Luke still felt the same as he opened the door and stepped onto the top floor.

He swallowed hard and looked both ways down the empty white hallway, starting to regret walking up here but something was making him turning to the left to go towards Jenson’s room. 

Luke started to think about Calum, Sullivan and Taran as he made it towards the boys room. He thought about how much they had to go through, with having both of their friends taken away from them to be locked up in a place that was basically hell itself. 

Luke didn’t know what was worse; being locked in the basement with rats or being up here on the top floor in a padded room and no one to come talk to him. He realized he didn’t even want to think about it. 

As he got closer and closer to Jenson’s room he focused less on the sounds of his footsteps and listened to the faint sound of screaming and he gulped as he stopped in the middle of the hallway, only a few feet away from Jenson’s door. 

The screaming was just like Calum had said, unlike anything he had heard before, and Luke was actually convinced that the boy was in real pain with how he was screaming instead of it all being in his head like everyone said.

He started walking again, with his eyes on the floor, and the screaming ceased only for a second before it was starting again and getting louder. 

When Luke got to the door he didn’t look in just yet and instead just leaned his forehead on the door, unable to look but unable to walk away either. 

The screaming inside was to the point where it was hurting his ears and he had no idea how the people in the surrounding rooms put up with this every night but maybe they were just as crazy so they didn’t even notice it. 

Luke took a deep breath before he was standing on his tippy toes to look in the window and he swore his heart stopped when he did. 

His eyes were glued to the middle of the room where Jenson was curled up in a ball with his mouth wide open as he screamed. 

Luke shook his head and wiped a hand over his face several times, knowing there was no way he was seeing what he was seeing. It felt like he was seeing Michael’s dead body hanging from the ceiling all over again as he looked at Jenson’s body that was burnt crisp and entirely engulfed in flames. 

Calum had said that Jenson claimed to being burnt alive and right before his eyes that was exactly what was happening. 

As Luke stared at him with wide eyes he wasn’t sure if Jenson was the crazy one or if he was. 

The boy was clawing at the floor as he kept moving back and forth now, the flames seeming to increase as black smoke filled the entire area. 

Luke knew that if the boy was really on flames then the smoke alarms out in the hallway would be going off and that thought right there made Luke sick to his stomach because it couldn’t be really happening then...he was imagining it. 

He started to think back to his pills that he took earlier in the night and maybe the nurse had given him something else by mistake so he was hallucinating now, that had to be it. 

Jenson began yelling “stop” and “have mercy” in between his screams now and Luke just wanted it all to stop, wanting to stop seeing this and go back stairs and forget that it ever happened and he was about to do just that until the fire was ceasing and the smoke was clearing. 

Jenson screamed for a few more seconds before he was just a whimpering and crying mess and it was then that he noticed that Jenson was looking at something in the corner of the room. 

Luke flicked his eyes up, now being able to see the room clearly without all the smoke, and he about dropped to his knees. 

He knew he had to be imagining the sight of seeing Jenson’s entire body caught on fire but the sight before him made him wish that he was imagining things even so much more. 

Stood leaning in the corner with a smirk on his face was Michael. 

Luke began to shake his head and kept closing his eyes over and over, just praying that the sight would go away and Luke knew he needed to stop doing that because it never worked anyways. 

When he opened his eyes again the flames were covering Jenson’s body again and Luke quickly looked back up to Michael to see the boy raising his hand outward with the smirk still on his face. 

Michael was causing all of this; Michael was the reason for all of Jenson’s pain and Luke felt like throwing up. 

Michael’s eyes were pure black like they sometimes turned when he was with Luke but this time they weren’t going back to their normal green color. They remained as black as the crisp all over Jenson’s body and Luke knew this wasn’t the Michael he knew. It wasn’t the Michael that held him and kissed him and held him when he was crying. This was someone else entirely. 

“Michael, no” Luke whimpered out before putting a hand over his face as he started to cry and within a second the fire was ceasing again and Michael was looking straight at Luke as if he had heard him or sensed his presence. 

As Luke stared back at Michael through the glass opening in the door he watched as Michael’s eyes turned back to green again and his hand was falling to his hip. 

Michael only took one step before Luke was pushing away from the door and running down the hall. 

This was not his Michael and he did not want to even be near him right now after what he had just seen. 

As Luke was getting closer to the stairwell again he heard a door slam open behind him and he ran faster. 

“Luke!” came Michael’s desperate voice for him to come back but Luke didn’t listen as he kept running and the door handle to the stairwell was almost in his grasp before Michael was suddenly appearing before him and Luke was falling back onto the floor in a terrified state. 

“Get away from me” Luke cried out as he started to back, still sitting on the floor while Michael was right above him. 

“Luke” Michael said before he was stepping forward but Luke just backed up more. 

“Why-Why were you torturing him?” 

“You don’t know the whole story...you don’t know fucking anything, Luke” 

“I don’t know why you are literally ruining someone’s life?” Luke snapped and he had never yelled at Michael like this but he just felt himself getting so angry at the boy. 

He had spent so much time trying to tell himself that Michael wasn’t a monster but now he was seeing that the boy in fact was one and Luke desperately didn’t want to be believe that he was. 

He wanted to continue to think that Michael was trying hard to be good and he wanted to believe that they actually had a future together. 

“We don’t have a future together, Luke” Michael said and Luke widened his eyes but then he remembered that Michael could read his thoughts whenever he was involved in them “I know you have this idea in your head that I’m some perfect being and it needs to fucking stop” he snapped and Luke actually jumped and then he was pulling his knees to his chest as he still sat on the floor “I was literally sent to hell, have you forgotten about that?” 

Sometimes Luke did forget it honestly but he was being reminded of it right now as he thought about how Michael was the cause of Jenson screaming in pain. 

“But...you wanna be good” Luke closed his eyes “I know you want to be good. I’ve seen you being good’ 

“You don’t know shit” Michael grinded his teeth together and then he was looking down the hallway past Luke “I’m a demon and we only care about ourselves. That’s just the way it is” 

“If you don’t care about me just say it” Luke spat. 

If Michael really didn’t care about him Luke wanted to know, he wanted to stop having false hope and he wanted Michael to stop playing with his feelings. He didn’t know how much longer he could take of this. 

“I don’t care about you, Luke” Luke felt like his heart was caving in and he looked up to see Michael’s eyes steadily turning to a darker color as he looked down at the floor right in front of Luke. 

“Look me in the eye and say it” Luke whispered. 

Luke stood up and began walking towards Michael and Michael still hadn’t said a word as he continued to look downwards. 

“Michael” Luke said softly before he was putting a hand on Michael’s cheek and rubbing his thumb against his hot skin. 

Michael closed his eyes at first but just as fast he was grabbing Luke’s hand and ripping it off of him. 

Luke backed up a few steps as black smoked surrounded the area in a way that he had never seen before. The air around Michael seemed to be circling like a tornado and when it all cleared Michael was nowhere in sight and Luke was yet again left not knowing how to feel but somehow feeling everything at once. 

*

Luke woke up the next morning to an empty room, like he always did now, and he had started to get used to it but after last night he wished he would have woken up to someone beside him, cuddling him and telling him that everything was going to be okay even if it wasn’t. 

Luke knew it was early in the morning as he could just barely see the sun beginning to rise over the water in the distance and he rested his face on the window a bit as he just looked out it. 

Only a few minutes went by before Luke was getting up and walking out of his room in his bare feet and going only a few steps to the room next door. 

He peaked it open and was surprised to see that Taran was not there. Sullivan was though and that was all that Luke cared about right now. 

He quietly shut the door behind him and walked up to Sullivan’s bed to see the boy laying on his stomach with both of his arms under the pillow and his glasses were on the night stand next to a half cup of water. 

Luke was as gentle as he could be as he brought the blanket back and slipped in next to the boy. 

Sullivan moved a bit and let out a small whimper but his eyes remained closed and Luke got more comfortable as he shared the boys pillow and laid on his side facing the sleeping boy. 

Luke started to let his eyes closed and let out a comforted sigh when he felt a hand rubbing at his arm.

“Are you okay?” Sullivan whispered into the quiet room and Luke just shook his head “no” before he was scooting closer to Sullivan and cuddling into the boy's chest. 

Luke smiled when Sullivan was wrapping an arm around his back and beginning to trace shapes with the tips of his fingers. Luke felt so at peace and he has no idea what he would do if he didn’t have Sullivan. 

“You saw Michael again didn’t you?” 

“Yeah” Luke said as he started to close his eyes again. 

He knew he wasn’t going to tell Sullivan that Michael was the reason that Jenson was in such pain; he just didn’t want Sullivan to know that Michael did such a thing. 

“Everytime he disappears I feel like I’m losing a part of me” Luke sniffled a bit and Sullivan moved his hand up to rub at the back of his hair “Soon I feel like I won’t have anything left” 

“You love him don’t you?” Sullivan spoke after the silence went on for another minute and all Luke could do was nod against the boy “Oh, Luke” Sullivan said before he was holding Luke tighter and Luke closed his eyes, just wanting all of this pain to go away. 

The thought of just ending his life and taking all of the pain away was always on his mind no matter what but as more time went on Luke could feel that thought getting more and more clear and he didn’t want it to but he knew he couldn’t stop it. 

“I don’t want to love him anymore, Sullivan” Luke whispered and Sullivan just kept putting his fingers through Luke’s hair. 

“I wish you could have known him when he was still alive” Sullivan started and it seemed like he was getting choked up himself “He was so...loving and honest and just way better than anyone that I’ve ever known. I wish you could have known that Michael instead” 

“Me too” Luke whimpered and he knew that Michael that Sullivan was talking about. He had seen that version of Michael in small doses so he knew that kind of person was still deep down inside Michael somewhere. Luke just wished he knew a way to bring it back out. 

*

Luke had stayed with Sullivan in the boys room for most of the day but Luke knew he had to be by himself for a little while. He was almost positive that his sour mood was bringing Sullivan down too and he didn’t want to do that to the boy. 

That was why Luke was currently walking into The Eden by himself. 

His room just made him feel more lonely, remembering how he used to share it with Calum, so he knew that coming here to be around all the flowers and plants was his best bet. 

He sat down in the swing and began to rock himself back and forth and he started to run his fingers over the petals of the closest flower to him.

Luke did start to feel more peaceful while being in here and he really started to miss coming in here all the time with the three other boys. He still came in here with Sullivan sometimes but it was never the same as when they would all hang out in here. 

Luke was brought out of his own little world when the lights above him began flashing and he was instantly brought back to that night down in the basement and he could feel himself beginning to shake out of fear. He knew he wouldn't be able to handle seeing something like that again and he was quickly bringing his knees to his chest as he put his head down and closed his eyes. 

The lights were still making a weird sound so Luke knew they were still flickering but then it was stopping completely. 

Luke still kept his eyes hidden and there was a loud spark sound that made him jump and Luke was picking his fast to see an almost blinding white light filling up half of the room and it seemed to be coming from the corner that was diagonal from him. 

Luke knew it wasn’t Michael because black smoke seemed to follow Michael every where he went so Luke was a bit scared of who it was instead. 

The white light seemed to be flickering and Luke stopped squinting as he saw a figure starting to walk out of the light and he felt a warmness spread over him that he wasn’t expecting. 

He recognized the person straight away but Luke was confused as to why he was coming to visit him and he honestly wished he would have visited him sooner. 

“Ashton” Luke said out loud and now Ashton was coming more into view and getting closer to him. 

“Hello, Luke” Ashton smiled and it was the type of smile that Luke only rarely saw Michael give him; he wished he could see it all the time. 

“What’re you doing here? Am I dead again?” 

Luke was surprised when Ashton was letting out a chuckle but then he was shaking his head and Luke would be lying if he wasn’t a bit disappointed. 

“No, you’re very much alive, Luke. I just came to talk to you” Ashton spoke so kindly and gentle and it was unlike anything that Luke was used to. He had a feeling that there was a time when Michael used to be like that too. 

“Talk about what?” 

Ashton seemed to look less happy and then he was sitting next to Luke on the swing. Luke could feel the warmness coming off of the angel and he wanted to get closer to him but refrained himself. 

“About Michael” 

Luke felt his stomach tense up at that and he wondered how much of his and Michael’s relationship that Ashton has seen. Maybe he had been watching the whole time. 

“His old life is not what you think. There’s something that he’s kept from you and it’s something that he won’t tell you himself” 

Luke was biting his nails at this point and he only nodded at Ashton, wanting to get on with it already. 

“Luke...Michael didn’t take his own life” 

The room seemed to be moving with how dizzy Luke had gotten after hearing those words and he couldn’t even believe his ears...but why would Michael lie to him about that?

“But...why? Why would he lie about that?” Luke shot out. 

“It makes him feel more in control to think that he chose to die instead of having his life taken from him by someone else” 

And that was the worst thing that Luke has ever heard. Someone had killed Michael and Luke felt sadness and anger boiling in his stomach and making him shake. 

“Who? Who would fucking do that?” Luke bit his lip when he swore but Ashton seemed like he was unaffected by it. 

“Jenson...Jenson killed him” 

It all began to make sense. Why Michael tortured Jenson and why he was so upset with the boy. Jenson had murdered Michael and Michael wanted him to pay for it. Luke began to feel so bad for yelling at Michael because the boy had every right to be upset with Jenson. Luke honestly wanted to torture Jenson too. 

“I can’t b-believe this” Luke cried out as he leaned forward and put his face in his hands. It seemed to be one bad thing after another and Luke wasn’t sure how much more of it he could take. 

“But wait” Luke was sitting up again and looking over at Ashton “If Michael didn’t kill himself then why did he get sent to hell?” 

Ashton pressed his lips together and Luke got the feeling that this was something that Ashton was not too happy about telling him. 

“He got sent to hell after he started wanting to go down to earth to cause harm to Jenson” 

Luke froze as he looked out the windows and everything was starting to make sense now. The way that Michael would be good then bad again and how it was so obvious that he wanted to be good but he just couldn’t. Luke understood it all now. 

“He’s a fallen angel” Luke whispered and he could see Ashton nodding next to him. 

*

“He hasn’t talked since we sat down” 

Luke out the window behind Taran and Sullivan and he had been doing this ever since he first sat down for dinner. He just had so much going through his mind that he couldn’t focus on anything else. 

Calum was sick in his room and hadn’t come down for dinner today so all three of the boys got to sit together and Luke had missed this; he really has but he just couldn’t find it in him to say anything and he wished that he could talk to Sullivan about what had happened in The Eden but he felt like he had already plagued the boy with enough of his problems. 

“I’m really worried about him” Sullivan spoke again and Luke blinked before prying his eyes open again and then he was watching the way that the trees blew in the wind as he thought about the fact that Michael had literally been murdered. 

Luke didn’t like to think about the fact of anyone getting murdered but it was especially hard to think of how a person as beautiful as Michael could have his life taken from him, just like that. 

Luke started to wonder if the other boys knew that Michael was murdered because they had never really spoken about how Michael had died but Luke wasn’t going to bring it up; he didn’t even want to be thinking about it anymore but it seemed impossible to think of anything else. 

It had been hours upon hours since he spoke to Ashton but it still felt like the conversation had happened only a few minutes ago with how fresh in his mind it was. 

Luke only seemed to get more depressed by the second, feeling like he wouldn’t ever see Michael again with how they had left off after their run in at the top floor. Luke had never seen Michael so hurt and angry and when he left something about it seemed so final. 

That thought scared Luke all the way down to his bones and that was when he came up with he reached a decision; if Michael wouldn’t come to him then he would just have to go to Michael.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> AHHH SORRY GUYS. I know I’m not the type of writer to end chapters with cliffhangers because that’s just plain cruel but I just wanted to break the chapter up. I already have the next and final chapter written so don’t worry about me not updating. I’m sad that this fic is coming to an end but hey I’ve got a lengthy cashton fic in the works so I’m really excited about that. Enjoy! And thank you so much to everyone who has taken the time to read this very emotional fic.


	12. Chapter 12

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> WOW okay it’s been like a month since my last update and I won’t bore you with the reason why so here is the last chapter. There will be an epilogue but this is the ending that I’ve had planned for a very long time now so I hope you guys like it!

It wasn’t at all like the first time he tried to do this. 

This time he he was sitting on the floor, rocking himself back in forth, trying to calm his nerves. 

The first time he did this he hadn’t been scared at all and he had actually felt good as he swallowed the pills. It felt like he was finally free from this awful world. 

Now, he was feeling guilty; guilty about leaving Sullian and Taran behind and even his aunt. She had really tried helping him and he wondered how she would react when she would be notified of what happened. Luke had wanted to get better too and he was sure that he would have been able to if it wasn’t for Michael coming in and out of his life and never staying as long as Luke needed him to. 

He felt so bad for leaving the ones who cared about him but all of that seemed to be outweighed with his love for Michael and his want to be with the man. 

This time Luke had the sharp blade in his hand that had been hidden under his bed and not even touched since he had put it under there. He just kept rubbing the blade just barely over his skin on his wrist and every time he swore he was going to use more force and cut deeper but he just couldn’t. 

He knew he would have to cut several times and he didn’t want to die like that; he didn’t want to suffer. 

Luke looked out the window and remembered how him and Calum used to spend hours in here just listening to the birds outside and reading and Luke really started to miss the boy. 

It was then that something occurred to him and he was dropping the envelope opener to the floor and running around his bed over to the other side. 

It was dark in the room, as the sun had set hours ago, but the outdoor lights were lighting up the room very well. 

When Luke got over to Calum’s bed he was throwing the pillow across the room and then focusing on the blue pills that he had forgotten were still here. Calum had obviously been saving the pills for a while since there were at least 10 of them and Luke stared at them for a few more seconds before he was taking a few of them in his hands. 

He rolled them around in his palms and he couldn’t remember how many of his mom's pills he had taken but it had obviously not been enough so he just took all of Calum’s pills in his hand; this time he didn’t just want to attempt, he wanted everything to end. 

It was a weird and stupid concept but Luke was too caught up the thought of being able to see Michael again to really think about what he was doing. 

His mind was in such a fog as he felt his eyes beginning to form tears and he began bringing the pills closer to his face. 

Luke split them up into 5’s, knowing that he was just prolonging this whole thing, then he was taking only two in his fingers and realizing that he couldn’t swallow all 10 pills at once. 

The pills were just touching his lips before Luke felt his whole body freezing up and convulsing a few times before everything went black but Luke could still feel things. He could feel something start from the tip of his toes to his stomach and then something was hitting his brain and Luke could feel himself shaking uncontrollably and that was when everything went away. 

*

When Luke came to his senses again he was surprised that he was even waking up in the first place. He didn’t know what was happening but it kind of felt like dying. 

Maybe he was dead considering that everything was still black but he could feel a soft hand in his hair. The touch was so comforting and Luke began to think that even if he was dead then he was okay as long as whoever was touching him continued to touch him. 

He felt the surface under him move a bit and he realized that he was on a bed with the way his body bounced up a bit and he immediately recognized that his head was laying on his pillow. This was his bed...so he was still in the mental institution. 

The next thing he felt was the hand moving from his hair to cup his cheek and he now that he was fully awake he knew that touch. It was the touch that made goosebumps appear all over his body, it was the touch that he couldn’t ever get enough of and Luke quickly opened his eyes and he felt relief wash over him. 

That was until it seemed like the man was upset with him. 

Michael was on his side, pressed up against Luke who was on his stomach, and the way he was touching Luke was soft and caring but his face told a different story. His jaw was clenched and he looked up at Luke only to shake his head and look back down at his hand that was now rubbing over Luke’s stomach.

“What happened?” Luke whispered. He honestly didn’t care what happened; he just wanted Michael to talk to him. 

Michael let out a breath and finally looked back up at Luke.  
“I stopped you from killing yourself...that’s what happened, Luke” 

Luke blinked at Michael and opened his mouth a few times but he couldn’t get himself to talk. 

“How? I didn’t see you though” Luke spoke quickly “I just remember feeling like something...was inside of my body and then everything went black and-” 

Luke froze and stared at Michael with wide eyes as he remembered the convulsing and shaking he went through and the way it didn’t feel like it was his body. Then he remembered how the priest that Michael possessed looked like and was in total shock. 

“You-” Luke started but he just couldn’t get himself to say the words. 

“Why did you try to kill yourself?” Michael’s words were stern like Luke had no choice but to answer him. 

“I-I wanted to see you” Luke said simply and he got terrified when Michael scoffed and took his hand off of his stomach “Please don’t go” Luke said grabbing at Michael’s shirt and Michael’s eyes softened before he was sighing and putting his hand back on Luke’s stomach but this time he put his hand under Luke’s shirt and started to rub at his bare skin. Luke closed his eyes and hummed at the feeling.

“You did such a stupid thing, Luke” Michael spoke to him like a disappointed parent and Luke opened his eyes again to see Michael looking down at him “Don’t ever fucking make me do that again” 

Luke pressed his lips together and nodded but then something began to dawn on him. 

When he had first met Michael the boy was wanting him to die so he could take Luke down to hell with him but now….Michael had just prevented him from dying and Luke felt a warmness wash over him but it was also filled with confusion; Michael saving him went against everything that the boy was about. 

“But...you saved me” Luke spoke and Michael looked back up and stopped the movement of his hand. 

“I wasn’t going to just let you die” Michael said like it was obvious, which it was but then Luke remembered what Michael had once said. 

“I thought demons didn’t save people” Luke said with a slight smile but Michael still had that upset look on his face and Luke began to wonder if Michael regretted saving him. 

Michael looked back down but when he looked up he looked like an entirely different person and he was staring at Luke in such a loving way and Luke felt his heart speeding up. 

Michael was then scooting up the bed further so his face was just above Luke’s and then he was moving his hand up Luke’s torso in a slow motion and stopping when his hand got to Luke’s cheek. 

The room felt like it was getting hotter and Luke knew he was breathing heavily but he couldn’t help it. This is what he’s wanted from Michael from day one and he was finally getting it. 

“Did you really mean it when you said that you don’t care about me?” Luke practically whimpered out, remembering what Michael had said to him on the top floor before he disappeared. 

Michael flicked his eyes down to Luke’s chest then he was shaking his head “no” and Luke leaned his face further into Michael’s hand. 

Michael looked back at him and within a second he was pressing his lips against Luke’s and Luke was quick to put his hands on Michael too. 

The way that Michael kissed him was making Luke feel more loved that he ever has and it was so unlike Michael but it’s what Luke’s wanted this entire time. Michael kissed him slow and deep as he would occasionally rub his tongue against Luke’s, causing the blond boy to moan out, and he kept rubbing his hand up and down Luke’s bare torso in a way that made it seem like he was massaging at his skin. 

“Tell me-” Luke whimpered when Michael moved his hand up to hold his cheek in a way that made him feel so safe “Tell me you care about me” 

It wasn't that Luke didn’t believe that Michael did it was just that he wanted to hear the other man say it to him in words and not just by nodding at him like he had before. 

Michael kept kissing him and kissed him more fiercely for a few more seconds before they were both panting then he was pressing his forehead to Luke’s as they stared into each other's eyes. 

Luke grew terrified when Michael’s eyes turned entirely black but it was only for a second before Michael was letting out a growl and seeming like he was fighting something and then his eyes were back to normal and he was looking like Luke was his entire world; he was looking at him like he was in love with him and Luke swore he could feel it running through his veins. 

“I care about you so much, Luke” Michael whispered and then he was gritting his teeth and closing his eyes “I’m fucking in love you” 

Luke actually gasped at the words and then he was putting his hands on Michael’s face to crash their lips together again and he heard Michael gasp against him before he was kissing him fast and biting at his lip. 

Luke remembered how Michael never let himself be touched and Luke wanted to touch the other boy so badly so he did; he just went for it and hoped that Michael didn’t push him away. 

Luke started by putting his hands under Luke’s shirt and rubbing his hands up his cold back and he was surprised when he could feel goosebumps forming because Michael had never reacted to his touch like that. That gave Luke more confidence and he used both hands to pull Michael completely on top of him and Michael just kept on kissing him. 

Luke moved one hand to rub up Michael’s thigh that was bracketed over him and he kept the other on on his back. 

Michael moved his face away and Luke got scared but then the black haired boy was just moving his face down to start sucking kisses into Luke’s neck and Luke cried out in pleasure when Michael gripped his neck with one hand and started to nibble at the skin under his ear as he kept licking at the area. 

The dark room became so hot as Luke started to grind up into Michael and he got even more worked up when Michael actually growled in his ear and grinded against him even harder as he used one hand to hold Luke’s hip. Michael was actually allowing himself to feel pleasure and Luke knew this was a good sign. 

It was then that Luke realized that he wanted something different this time since it was obvious that he was allowed to do this now. 

He took a deep breath and in one swift movement he grabbed Michael’s hips and flipped them over so that Michael was on his back and Luke was hovering over him. 

He could see the surprised on Michael’s face but he didn’t look annoyed or mad. 

Luke looked at Michael for a few more seconds before he was watching his own hand go lower until he was pressing his palm into Michael’s dick and he knew it was a good sign when Michael pushed up into the touch and his breath stuttered. 

Luke began palming him harder and then he was lifting up Michael’s shirt with the other hand so that his lower stomach was showing and Luke started sucking on the skin there right below his belly button. 

“Will you let me make you feel good?” Luke looked up at Michael with his puppy dog eyes and Michael was looking down at him with hooded eyes as his face and chest were flushed red and it was the most beautiful sight that Luke had ever seen. It felt so good to see the effect that he was having on the black haired boy. 

“Please” Luke added when Michael hadn’t responded “Wanna use my mouth on you until you're a shaking mess” 

Luke was never one for dirty talk but he couldn’t help it, it was what he’s wanted for so long, and he knew it worked when Michael closed his eyes and cursed under his breath. 

“Yeah” Michael said with a rough voice as he nodded “Make me come, Luke” 

Luke moaned at the words and he closed his eyes as he started to suck kisses lower on Michael’s stomach. 

Soon Michael’s hand was going into Luke’s hair and massaging at it and Luke felt like he could just come from that. It was the loving and soft touches from Michael that were getting to Luke the most because he had wanted them for so long. 

Luke took Michael’s pants off and his boxers and he could feel his mouth watering at the sight of Michael’s hard dick resting on his stomach as the boy was heavily breathing. 

Luke looked up and started to tug at the hem of Michael's shirt. 

“Wanna see every part of you” Luke whispered and Luke could see Michael’s eyes change into that soft look again before he was sitting up quickly and taking his jacket and dress shirt off and throwing them to the floor. 

Luke whimpered and quickly took his own clothes off, wanting to be skin to skin with Michael, before he was pressing himself up against Michael from head to toe and kissing him with passion just like Michael had. Michael’s hands instantly went to the small of Luke’s back and held him tight. 

Luke started to move up and down, rubbing their dicks together and he felt his tummy start to do flips when Michael moaned into his mouth and dug his nails into the skin on his back. 

Luke was then moving his body up off Michael just a little so that he could get a hand around Michael’s cock and stared in awe as Michael was letting out a loud “fuck” and pressing his head back into the pillow as he closed his eyes. 

Luke started to twist his hand and move his thumb around the tip every now and then and the whole time he was just watching Michael’s face as the boy bit at his lip and let out deep sounding moans. 

Giving Michael a handjob was great and all but Luke needed more; he needed to get his mouth on the boy like he had promised. 

Luke gave Michael’s dick a few more pumps then he was moving down his body and Michael was watching him the whole time. Luke locked his eyes with Michael’s as he began to take the tip into his mouth and Luke could tell Michael was having a hard time not closing his eyes but he did and Luke could see him gripping the top of his pillow with boths hands. 

Luke started to use his tongue as he was sucking hard at Michael’s dick and he was speeding up the pace. 

“Fucking hell” Michael moaned out as he moved one hand down to thread it through Luke’s hair and Luke moaned around him which had Michael bucking up real quick but Luke never stopped his movements. 

It was over way more quickly than Luke wanted and soon Michael was letting out constant whimpers and moans and tugging at Luke’s hair. 

“L-luke” Michael moaned out and Luke knew he was so close. 

It only took a few more times of Luke licking up his cock to have Michael spilling down his throat and Luke kept his eyes on Michael the entire time as the boy started to shake then his body was twitching and he was heavily breathing as he was coming down from his orgasm. 

Luke took his mouth off of Michael and put his hand on the boys thigh as he looked up at him and Michael’s eyes were shut as his chest was still moving up and down quickly. 

Luke started to peck the softest of kisses on Michael’s pale skin and that had Michael looking down at him. 

Michael made the “come here” gesture with his fingers and Luke smiled wide before he was sitting up and scurrying up the bed to lay on top of Michael again. 

Michael instantly wrapped his arms around Luke and held him tight and Luke didn’t even care that he still had a hard on; he was just so happy that he finally got to make Michael feel good and that he was finally being able to see this version of Michael. The soft and loving version of him that he had only known about because Sullivan had told him about how Michael had used to be. Deep down though Luke knew that Michael was a loving person though. 

“I love you so much” Luke whispered out and he could feel Michael smile against his cheek. 

“I love you, Luke” Michael said back and Luke could feel the tears swelling in his eyes; he knew he would never get tired of hearing that. 

Several minutes went by of the boys just holding each other and feeling so comforted and content and Luke was so close to falling asleep but then Michael was speaking again. 

“Look at me for a second” he said softly and Luke became worried but he quickly sat up and Michael just looked so sad “I was there when Troy died” 

Luke’s first reaction was confusion. His best friend had committed suicide years ago and it was way before he had seen Michael. 

“That was when I first met you and it was when I realized that I was in love with you” Michael continued and Luke could see Michael fighting back tears which seemed to be impossible because Michael never showed any type of emotion and he didn’t even know that demons could cry “I remember seeing you rushing to his side after he had overdosed. I remember seeing you cry on his chest and I swear-fuck I swear I could feel your sadness” 

“Michael” Luke whimpered out and Michael reached out to wipe away a tear on the blond's cheek. 

“And I’ve been with you through everything since then” Michael said after taking a deep breath “When they kids at school beat you and left you bruised and feeling broken, when your mom would scream at you until you were in tears. I was there and I wanted to intervene so badly and just take all the pain away but I just couldn’t” 

Luke’s eyes were widened at hearing all of this because it meant that Michael had been with him for years; he just hadn't been able to see him. 

“Why didn’t you?” Luke said softly even though he knew that Michael really had no way of helping with those things. 

“Because only angels help people” Michael said back and Luke leaned down to peck his lips a few times and Michael instantly cupped his cheek and let out a sigh. 

“You’re my angel” Luke said and Michael chuckled a bit but Luke could hear the sadness in it “I know what Jenson did to you, Michael. I know why you hurt him and I’m not upset at you for it” 

“You should be” Michael mumbled as he looked away from Luke and Luke had never seen him look so small “I’m a monster” 

“No you aren't” Luke said sternly and it had Michael looking at him “You’re a good person and Jenson is the monster” 

Michael looked Luke’s face up and down a few times like he wanted to argue but then he was letting out a breath and rubbing the backs of his fingers down Luke’s cheek. 

That night it was the first time that Luke fell asleep happy with his head on Michael’s chest and the boy putting light kisses to the top of his head. Luke wasn’t sure how long he would have Michael like this but he was enjoying every second of it while he still had him. 

*

Luke awoke to the sight of sunlight behind his eyelids and there was an arm still wrapped around him which caused him to open his eyes. He swore that Michael would have been gone before he woke up but here he was, still lying on the boys chest and he kept his eyes on Michael’s bare chest as they were both only in their boxers. 

Luke still felt tired so he closed his eyes and just started to softly trace patterns on Michael’s chest as he let out out a content sigh. He knew he wanted to wake up every morning like this for the rest of his life but he also knew that was not realistic and he felt a sadness in the deep of his stomach. 

He was lucky to even have Michael still here with him this morning and he held the boy tight as he started to peck kisses on the skin underneath Michael’s nipple. 

Above him he heard a little whimper and Luke smiled wide and opening his eyes to look up at the sleepy boy. 

What he saw had his stomach dropping and he knew he wasn’t breathing as he looked at the boy. 

“Mi-” Luke couldn’t even get the words out and he quickly sat up and started to put his hand through Michael’s hair, still not believing what he was seeing and what it meant “Michael” Luke almost started crying this time and he started to shake at Michael’s shoulder. 

“Hmm” Michael groaned then he was turning away from Luke and Luke would hate waking up like this but this was important and Michael needed to know what was going on. 

“Wake up! You gotta wake up and look at yourself” Luke said and that had Michael opening his eyes and then Luke was pointing to the mirror by the bathroom. 

Michael looked hesitant for a second, like he was scared of what he would see but then Luke was rubbing softly at his arm and Michael was looking over at the mirror. 

Luke could see Michael’s eyes widen and he actually jumped when he saw his reflection and Luke put his hand on Michael again in an attempt to calm him. 

“What-” Michael whispered then he was jumping out of the bed and standing right in front of the mirror like he had to see it up close to make sure he wasn’t just imagining things. 

“What does this mean?” Luke whimpered out and Michael was still looking in the mirror as he was viciously putting his hands through his hair like the answer was somewhere in there. 

“Fuck I don’t know...this has never happened” Michael said with fear laced in his voice and then he started running his hands all over his own body “I feel different...I don’t feel like myself at all, Luke. Something is not right” 

Luke still couldn’t take his eyes off of Michael’s hair that was now completely blond with not even a strand of it that was black. 

“Come here” Luke said quickly when something occurred to him. 

Michael looked in the mirror once more before he was walking over to Luke and sitting on the bed with him again. 

Back when Michael had first laid in this bed with him Luke remembers how cold the boys skin had been and he took a deep breath and pressed his palm to Michael’s chest. 

He sucked in a breath and Michael was quick to react. 

“What? What’s wrong?” Michael hurried out and Luke touched a few more places on Michael’s skin just to make sure. 

“Your skin” Luke began then he locked eyes with Michael “It’s not cold anymore, it’s-it’s warm just like mine” 

“What” Michael said barely above a whisper then Michael was pressing his own hand to his chest “This doesn’t make sense. What the fuck is going on?” 

“I don’t know” Luke said back helplessly and the let his hand fall from Michael’s chest. 

“Hey, Luke Calum’s here and-” Luke jumped at the voice and he looked to see Taran in the doorway with Sullivan right behind him and was confused to see that the both of them had turned pale as they looked to the left of Luke and Luke had no idea what was going on. 

“Guys, what’s wrong?” Luke said quickly and he could see the tears forming in Sullivan’s eyes. 

“Michael” Sullivan said barely above a whisper and he kept blinking his eyes and Luke quickly looked to Michael to see the boy looking just as stunned. 

Now Luke really had no fucking idea what was going on. 

“You can...you can see him?” Luke said and Taran looked over at him but Sullivan just kept looking at Michael with big eyes. 

“Yeah but they must have mixed up my pills or something because there is no fucking way that I’m seeing him right now” Taran said with no humor and Luke was about to point out that Sullivan can see him too but then Taran was turning around to look at him “Can you see him too?” 

Sullivan just nodded in response and bit at his lip, eyes never leaving Michael. 

“Mikey” Sullivan whimpered out and Luke felt his chest getting heavy as the boy was starting to cry. 

Michael was then quickly getting off of the bed and Luke saw that Taran actually came more into the room and stepped away almost as if he was scared of Michael. 

Luke felt himself smiling and on the verge of tears himself when Michael was quickly wrapping his arms around Sullivan’s shoulders and bringing the crying boy to his chest. Sullivan was quick to wrap his arms around Michael’s torso and Luke could see him rubbing his hands up and down Michael’s bare back as Taran just stood back and watched with wide eyes. 

“Please tell me that this isn’t a dream” Sullivan sobbed out and Luke wiped his eyes as he watched Michael put one hand on the back of Sullivan’s hair as he moved his face peck kisses at the side of his head “Please tell me that you’re really here” 

“I’m really here, Matt” Michael spoke softly and it sounded so weird hearing anyone but Franco calling Sullivan by his first name “I promise I’m really here” 

Sullivan held Michael even tighter at that like he never wanted to let him go and Luke could see that Taran was now seeming like he wanted to be hugging Michael too. 

Sullivan calmed down a bit with help from Michael and then Michael was backing up and putting both hands on the boys cheeks as he kissed his forehead and Luke was smiling so hard that his cheeks were hurting. 

Luke could see a type of happiness on Sullivan’s face that he had never seen before and he knew it was only a happiness that Michael could bring. 

Michael still kept one arm wrapped around Sullivan’s shoulders but then he was looking over at Taran and offering the boy a smile. 

“So you’re alive again” Taran stated and Michael shrugged.  
“I don’t know what’s going on but I’m here” Michael said back and he sounded so brave. It must be so scary what he is going through. 

Suddenly Taran was fast walking over to him and pressing himself into Michael and Michael let out a breath before wrapped an arm around him and then pressing his face into Taran’s neck and Luke could see him closing his eyes. 

“Fuck I’ve missed you so much, man” Taran said and Luke could hear the emotion in his voice. 

Suddenly Calum was coming into the room and he had a smile on his face but as soon as he saw Michael the smile was gone and he widened his eyes as he actually jumped and backed up so that he was pressed against the wall. 

“What the fuck” he whispered and Sullivan and Taran both let out laughs but Michael’s face was serious as he looked Calum over. 

“Michael” Calum said slowly “But-but how?” 

Michael shrugged again and smiled and then he was walking over to Calum and hugging him too and Luke was only drawn away from the sight when he could see a flash of white light in his peripheral vision. 

Stood in the corner was the familiar curly haired boy and he had a smile on his face as he looked over at Michael seeing his best friends once again.

Luke cleared his throat, wanting Ashton to look at him, then the boy was and he sent a wide smile at him before he was winking and Luke was left in awe as Ashton looked at Michael once more then disappearing in a fog of light. 

When Luke focused back on the scene in front of him Michael looked back at him with the happiest smile he has ever seen and in that moment Luke knew that everything that was going to be okay and he realized that maybe evil didn’t always win in the end.


End file.
